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Movies, Science Fiction/Fantasy

[August 12, 1966] Dr. Who And The Slightly Better Sequel (Daleks’ Invasion Earth: 2150 AD)

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By Jessica Holmes

We’re between series of Doctor Who on the television, but you aren’t escaping my rambles that easily. 'Dr. Who' is back on the big screen, so I ventured to the cinema to see if Daleks’ Invasion Earth: 2150 AD is any good. Directed by Gordon Flemyng and written by Milton Subotsky, this film is a follow-up to last year’s Dr. Who And The Daleks. Like the first film, this is also based on a Doctor Who serial, that being The Dalek Invasion of Earth.

Poster for Daleks Invasion Earth: 2150 AD

To spare us all a lot of waffling, I’ll skip the play-by-play rundown. In broad strokes, it’s the same story. Dr. Who (Peter Cushing) in his Tardis goes to future London, finding it overrun by Daleks. He joins up with the human resistance, everyone goes to Bedford, the Daleks try to turn Earth into a spaceship by blowing up the core. Dr. Who hatches a plan to stop them doing that by deflecting the bomb, then boom! A volcano blows up, Daleks all die, Earth is free, Bedford gets a new tourist attraction, yada yada yada.

The plot is almost identical to the original serial. I did think for a moment about just copying my previous article and changing a few names, but it does have a few differences.

The Black Dalek no longer makes an appearance in the story, and nor does its pet, the slightly rubbish Slyther, but I didn’t particularly miss them. Most of the rebels have been condensed into one single character, Wyler (Andrew Keir), and many smaller, less important scenes have been removed to streamline the plot.

Most significant among these differences is that with Susan in this continuity being much younger than her television counterpart (with Roberta Tovey reprising her role), there is no romantic subplot.

Tom (Bernard Cribbins) in a darkened street. He is rubbing the back of his head, his mouth open.

Instead of Ian and Barbara we have a bumbling policeman called Tom (Bernard Cribbins) and the Doctor’s niece Louise (Jill Curzon). They do not have personalities. You can look at the plot outline of the original serial, scribble out each instance of ‘Ian’ and replace it with ‘Tom’, then do the same for Barbara/Louise, and you’ll get an impression of the impact these character changes have on the plot.

Actually, now I come to think of it, you also have to replace all of the cool things Barbara does in the original (like running over a Dalek with a truck) with blank space, and give all those cool deeds to whichever male character happens to be nearby at the time.

Louise (Jill Curzon) looks over her shoulder.

I think it would have strengthened the emotional core of the story to give Louise the romance plot (though I would also have issues with her only being in the plot for the purposes of providing a love interest). At least it would have given her something to do instead of being shunted about from one location to another in a state of total passivity. In the original, the romance subplot was a major component of giving the story emotional depth.

This film, however, is empty.

The characters might as well be cardboard cutouts, and though the film follows the plot of the serial, it’s devoid of the sense of horror and despair that the original had. In the original, it felt very much that the resistance was fighting a losing battle, one grounded in reality. They were tired, they had very little hope left.

Here? It’s all just set dressing. With characters so flat they vanish if you look at them sideways, I just don’t care what happens to them. Nobody forms any real bonds, so there’s no sense that anyone has anything personally to lose. None of the deaths land with an impact. I don’t feel like the characters care all that much, so why should I? The Daleks might as well just kill them all.

5 metallic blue Daleks in a ruined street at night.

The Daleks don’t even feel particularly Nazi-like as they did before. In the original, the resemblance was strong enough that it made the Daleks feel grounded in reality, and that much more threatening. This film feels a lot more light-hearted, so I suppose there is the silver lining that the plot to turn the planet into a (groan) spaceship doesn’t feel quite as silly compared to the rest of the story.

It’s just really hard to find things all that grim when every fight scene is accompanied by jaunty jazz numbers. There are some attempts at comedy, mostly revolving around Tom, particularly when he’s hiding on the Dalek ship. It might make a child laugh, but I wouldn’t count on it.

8 men in black latex overalls and helmets with visors sit on two rows of benches with their arms folded. Tom (front row, second from left) is asleep, leaning on his neighbour's shoulder.

The acting is decent enough, nothing glaringly bad, but nothing great either. Cushing is entirely wasted, having been given no real chance to show Dr. Who’s character. He exists purely to poke the plot with a stick from time to time to keep it moving. It’s all quite mechanical. Everyone’s competent, but nobody feels like a real person. In streamlining the plot, the writer has jettisoned a lot of scenes that gave the characters room to breathe.

In the end, there’s a load of pointlessly complicated nonsense about deflecting the core-destroying bomb to make a big explosion of magnetic energy that will pull the Daleks into Earth’s core. Apparently the confluence between the north and south magnetic poles is under Bedford. I am not going to even bother picking that apart. It makes no material difference. Honestly, I think it just confuses things. Stick with the volcano!

Still, it’s quite funny when the Daleks go flying through walls like something off Looney Tunes. I’ll give it that.

The Dalek spaceship crashes into the mine as fire spews from the mountain in the background.

With all this being said, would you believe me if I told you it’s better than Dr. Who And The Daleks? It’s perfectly watchable, if you’re looking for something to do for a little over an hour and have a handful of shillings to spare. I think kids would probably enjoy the adventure. There are plenty of exciting bits such as the chase out of London, and the art team did a great job on the special effects. I particularly liked the Daleks’ flying saucer, which is a wonderful model with moving parts. The eruption at the end isn’t bad, either.

So, what’s the verdict? Well, I wouldn’t rush back to the cinema to watch it again, but I don’t consider my afternoon entirely wasted. It’s a relatively decent but unremarkable science fiction adventure that in my opinion could have been so much more.

2.5 out of 5 stars




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Movies

[May 28, 1966] Destination The Movies (Destination Inner Space)

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by Dana Pellebon

In my quest to expand my repertoire of sci-fi films, I was especially excited to see Destination Inner Space, currently playing in my local cinema as a part of a double feature with Frozen Alive (which I didn't have time to see). The idea of being visited by creatures from another planet is an exciting one. This movie explores what that could look like and what our reactions might be.

Opening on an underwater sea lab, the movie starts by establishing that there is important scientific work happening all around us, even on the ocean floor. An interesting cast of characters in the lab helps keep the interest up, and immediately there is tension with a new person being introduced into the mix. US Navy Commander Wayne has been dispatched to the undersea outpost because there is an unidentified object circling the lab. The researchers were already trying to approach the object to determine what it was and how to study it. The movie then explores the mystery behind what is in the unidentified object.

What is striking about this movie are the complicated relationships between members of the crew. Obvious tension between the doctors on board, and a scandal that happened long ago between the Commander and the head diver, allow for a depth in the story beyond just a creature feature. Despite some good storylines happening between the leads, there are some throw away characters that are wasted. There is an attempt at comic relief with the cook, Hong Lee. The movie treats Lee like a caricature, which is woefully out of place with the tone of the movie. This is also Sheree North's first foray back into films after spending the last 10 years on television. But she plays the Nurse, who doesn't seem to do much except bicker with Dr. Lassiter — until a surprise ending for the two of them comes out of nowhere.

While I have never been to an underwater base, what little I do know about oceans and pressure suggests that several things in the movie don't add up scientifically. Deep sea diving with minimal gear and body protection seems needlessly dangerous. Similarly, open holes to the water that serve as entrances into both the lab and the unidentified object don’t make sense. There's an open water propelled human exploration ship that at one point is slower than a diver just swimming alongside it, which led me to question: why have the ship in the first place? And there are moments of beautiful cinematography in the water with the fish and the ocean floor, which made me wish that they had been featured more prominently.

The real story of the movie involves the alien spaceship that somehow found its way to the sea floor. Sparse in decoration or life form at first, the ship is innocuous with the exception of a small door opening and releasing a hand sized cylindrical tube, and the notably chilly temperature inside the ship. When the tube is discovered by the exploratory team from the lab, they immediately pack it up to bring back for study. As any good horror movie fan knows, this will lead to disaster.

Once the tube is back at the lab, it starts to heat up in the warmer environment and a noxious gas is released, overcoming the team. Then, out from the gas jumps a human-sized amphibian fish-like creature that starts attacking the crew. It is startling (dare I say, 'impossible') that a life form could transform so fully and quickly. I would have liked to have seen a gradual transformation instead of an outright jump from tube to six foot amphibian.

The creature itself is frighteningly coherent for having spent just minutes as a sentient being on the earth. It knows to attack both the sea lab and the above ground lab communications persons. It is able to recognize what a padlock is, what it is used for, and how to lock people in a space with it. All while using fins with no opposable thumbs. This creature proves that alien life forms are definitely advanced!

It is not unusual for an actor to don a suit to play a creature such as this. But, unlike the Godzilla movies which showed the creature with a specific, characteristic gait, this creature moves not like an amphibian or fish but like a human in a fish suit. There could have been more effort to make the creature more compelling with subtle things like movement. The suit itself was well made and colorful, though.

After it wreaks havoc on the crew and ships, the Commander and head diver decide to lay a trap for the creature. At this point, I didn’t know who to root for. This creature was destructive but it also was an alien life form that didn’t have its bearings and was brought into an environment to be studied by lifeforms it didn’t know. The humans, however, needed to be able to defend themselves as the creature had killed a couple of crew members. It was a no win situation.

Weapons and eventually dynamite are used to kill the creature with the sacrifice of the head diver who had demons to exorcise from an earlier incident where he'd abandoned his crew. This time he saved the day and lost his life. The movie ends with the crew taking stock of what they are going to say to the President about this incident. It is heartening that the Commander wants not to focus on what went wrong but instead prioritizes the point that we have had contact with alien life and that we need to learn how to better communicate with them moving forward. It is a bit of self-reflection I didn’t expect coming.

Even though I had some issues with the coherence of the movie as a whole, I did enjoy watching the calamity unfold. Monster movies are not usually about depth of meaning or accuracy of science. Mostly, they are fantastical stories that make you jump from time to time. Destination Inner Space did just that. I never knew what to expect and ended up having empathy for everyone around. It was a fun flick and I look forward to more creature features!

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Movies

[May 14, 1966] Seeing Double (The She Beast and The Embalmer)

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by Victoria Silverwolf

Two For The Price Of One

The tradition of double features in American movie houses goes back at least as far as the early 1930's. Under the old system, theaters were forced to purchase a lower budget movie (the B film) in order to be allowed to purchase a higher budget movie (the A film.) Often, there would also be cartoons, newsreels, short subjects, and so forth.


A typical double feature from 1934.

That began to change with the court case United States v. Paramount Pictures, Inc. (1948.) The United States Supreme Court decided that the practice of studios owning their own theaters, and having full power over what films a theater could show, violated antitrust laws.

As a result, major studios no longer had an incentive to produce B movies. Audiences still wanted double features, so smaller studios supplied low budget films that could be shown with A movies from the big companies. Eventually, theaters started showing two B movies together.


A typical double feature from 1955.

Doubled And Redoubled

Once I saw the trailer for a double feature of horror movies that opened early this month, I knew I had to rush out and see it. It turned out that each film was, itself, something of a double. I'll explain what I mean when I discuss them in turn.


Do you prefer Horror or Terror?

Nerves Of Steele

I've spoken elsewhere about the striking British actress Barbara Steele, who has appeared in a number of horror films, particularly in Italy. Her latest starring role is in The She Beast, a British/Italian co-production, filmed in Italy and Yugoslavia.


The Italian title, which even I can translate.

We begin with pretty simple opening titles, accompanied by the usual scary music.


Simple, but at least you know you're watching the right movie.

The words Transylvania — Today pop up, setting the stage. This helps, because the first thing we see is a nifty bright yellow motor car that looks like it rolled right out of the 1920's. Add to that the fact that the driver, an older, professorial type, with gray hair and beard, is wearing the kind of shortened trousers that I believe are known as plus fours, and which I associate with golfers of the same era.

This fellow drives up to a cave and enters, where he picks up a very old book and starts reading. (It turns out that this is the man's home, complete with a skull here and there to add the proper mood.) This conveniently gives us our back story in the form of a flashback.

Cut to the late 18th century. Some folks are at an open-coffin funeral, when a young boy rushes in to say that she has taken his brother. Everybody seems to know exactly who she is; the local witch, who looks more like a monster than a human being.


Jay Riley as the She Beast. Yes, she's played by a man, under very heavy makeup.

Depending on who's talking about her, the witch's name is either Vardella or Bardella; it's hard to tell. Anyway, a typical mob of villagers, carrying torches and pitchforks and such, grab the witch and strap her into the seat of a wooden thing that kind of looks like a catapult. After driving a long metal spike through her body, which you might think would be enough punishment, they dunk her into the adjoining lake several times.


A couple of guys watch the fun going on below.

Cut to 1966. A couple of young folks are driving around in a black Volkswagen. They're newlyweds, who have decided to spend their honeymoon in Transylvania. (Obviously, they've never seen a horror movie.) They discover that a highway to Bucharest shown on the map doesn't actually exist, so they're stuck here for the night.


Barbara Steele as Veronica and Ian Ogilvy as Philip.

A local fellow directs them to the only hotel in the vicinity. It's run by a creepy guy who gives them tea with garlic bulbs in it.

That bit of goofiness gives me the opportunity to explain what I mean by this movie having a double nature. It constantly makes wild changes in mood from deadly serious to silly, as if it can't make up its mind if it's a spoof or not. This goes far beyond the occasional touches of comedy relief often seen in this kind of film, and is rather disconcerting.


Mel Welles as Ladislav Groper, the innkeeper. Hey! He was in The Little Shop of Horrors, too!

The fellow we saw at the start of the film shows up and starts chatting to them. It turns out that he's Count Von Helsing, the scion of a local family of aristocratic exorcists. Veronica jokingly asks if he knows the Draculas, and he replies that his ancestors exorcised them. We'll find out later that he lives in a cave because the Communist government took away his ancestral castle.


John Karlsen as Count Von Helsing. Hey! He was in Crack in the World, too!

Mister Groper — the surname seems to be a deliberate reference to his lechery — gets his kicks by peeking at the newlyweds during a moment of intimacy.


What the butler — I mean, the hotelier — saw.

Philip beats the guy up badly — we even see a big blood stain on the wall after he bashes the voyeur's head against it — and the couple decides to leave early the next day. Apparently, Groper fiddled with their Volkswagen, because it doesn't start at first. Once they get it running again, it turns out that the steering wheel doesn't work. They nearly run into a truck, and wind up crashing into the lake where the witch was killed.

Von Helsing rescues Philip, but Veronica appears to be drowned. Dredging up what they expect to be her body, it turns out to be the witch instead. Barbara Steele fans, among whom I count myself, will be disappointed to find out that she disappears from the film until the very end. Rumor has it that she only worked on the movie for one grueling eighteen hour day.

If I was able to follow the plot correctly, it seems that the only way to bring Veronica back is to revive the dead witch, then exorcise her and drive her back into the lake, where the body exchange can take place again. Von Helsing brings the witch back to life, but she attacks him and escapes.

The witch starts killing people. In particular, she slices up Groper with a sickle. (We've just seen him attempt to rape his niece — see what I mean about changes in mood? — so you won't feel too sorry for him.) In the movie's most outrageous joke, the sickle falls to the floor, right on top of a hammer, forming a perfect image of the famous symbol of Communism.


Comrade!

Philip and Von Helsing drug the witch into a coma, then stick her in a refrigerator. The local cops find her, so it's up to our heroes to steal her back, while also absconding with a police van. The cops have to use Von Helsing's yellow roadster. At this point, the movie becomes pure farce, with the police acting as the Kommie Keystone Kops.


Our heroes in the police van.


The cops in the roadster. Note that the same guy on a motorcycle passes them both.

After this slapstick interval, Philip and Von Helsing dump the witch in the lake and Veronica returns, apparently without any knowledge about what happened, and surprised to find herself soaking wet. Then the movie concludes with one of those Is it really over? kind of endings.

Besides failing to decide if it's a comedy or a thriller, this movie suffers from a lack of Barbara Steele. Despite having top billing, she has less screen time than any of the other main characters. I just hope that the thousand bucks she reportedly earned for a hard day's work makes up for what this mixed-up little film might do for her reputation.

Canals of Carnage

Our second feature is The Embalmer, an Italian film from last year, just now making its way to the New World.


The original Italian title, which is also easy to translate.

After a brief introductory scene showing our title character at work, we get the opening titles.


Nice blood-dripping effect.

The movie establishes the basic premise right away. Some kook, disguised in a monk's robe and skull mask, kidnaps young women and drags them to his underground lair, where he embalms them with a secret formula in order to preserve their beauty. (We learn all this because the lunatic constantly talks to himself.)


One tube of embalming fluid, coming right up!

Because the setting is Venice, the way he does this is by swimming around in the canals while wearing a scuba diving outfit and pulling his victim into the water.


What the well-dressed maniac wears, when not scuba diving.

Lucky for him, there are plenty of young women walking along the canals all alone late at night.


She should have taken a taxi — I mean a gondola.

Even though more than one woman disappears this way, the police think they just fell into the canal. Only our protagonist, the usual heroic newspaper reporter, thinks there's a killer at loose. Meanwhile, the embalmer adds to his collection.


What the well-dressed victim wears, after embalming.

After all this scary stuff, the movie slows down for quite a while, as we introduce more characters. Besides the reporter, we've got his boss, the cops, a couple of comedy relief canal workers, and a few others. A group of young female tourists shows up. The reporter starts smooching on the very slightly less young chaperone of the group pretty quickly. There's also an older woman and her nephew, who is interested in antiquities.


In one of many time-wasting scenes, aunt and nephew do the Twist.

Along the way, we'll get a hotel worker who uses a one-way mirror to spy on one of the tourists while she's undressing, and an Elvis-like singer who starts his act by coming out of a coffin. The main reason we have so many minor characters is that somebody has to turn out to be the murderer.

That reminds me of why this movie also has a double aspect. The premise of a mysterious figure in disguise, who will later be revealed as somebody we've met before, is very similar to the sort of thing that comes up in the German krimi films adapted from the works of Edgar Wallace. (My esteemed colleague Cora Buhlert has discussed these movies a couple of times.)

On the other hand, the emphasis on horror rather than mystery suggests a new kind of Italian thriller, best exemplified by the recent shocker Blood and Black Lace. Although this is a very recent subgenre of horror, some folks are calling such movies giallo films. (The word just means yellow in Italian, and comes from the fact that mystery and suspense novels often have yellow covers in Italy.)

The Embalmer has aspects of both krimi and giallo, I think, and maybe it points the way to future combinations of the two.

Back to the movie at hand. In parallel plots, both the reporter, via the canal, and the chaperone, via a secret panel, make their way to the embalmer's lair. (I forgot to mention that the nephew also found it, but paid for the discovery with his life. Oops! I gave away the fact that he wasn't the killer. Sorry about that.)


The comedy relief guys help the reporter find the embalmer's hideout. At the risk of ruining the suspense, neither one of them is the killer either.

Near the end, the movie moves along at a rapid pace, as the chaperone finds herself trapped with the embalmer, and the reporter desperately tries to save her. After a surprisingly downbeat ending, the identity of the killer is revealed.


The chaperone with one of the embalmer's companions.

There's quite a bit of padding in the film, because the plot is very simple. There's some nice black-and-white cinematography, and the climax is exciting, if you have the patience to wait for it.

Coming Attractions

Although this wasn't the greatest double feature I've ever seen, I'm sure that I'll slap down my dollar (movie ticket prices are getting out of hand!) the next time a similar one comes around. Maybe it'll even be a new color film paired with an older black-and-white import, just like this time.


Coming soon!


I understand that this two-year-old German black-and-white film will show up on a double bill with the one above it.

After your trip to the movies, tune in to KGJ, our radio station! Nothing but the newest hits!




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Movies, Science Fiction/Fantasy

[April 22, 1966] No Man's Land (Women of the Prehistoric Planet and Further Female Filled Fantasy Films)

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by Victoria Silverwolf

Where The Boys Aren't
With apologies to Connie Francis.

One of the more unusual themes of science fiction and fantasy is a society entirely made up of women. I won't claim to have discovered the origin of this idea, but digging deep into old bound periodicals reveals that the early feminist Charlotte Perkins Gilman dealt with it as far back as 1915, in Herland, a novel serialized in her own magazine, The Forerunner. Flipping carefully through these old, dusty pages, I found out that it deals with a group of male explorers who come across a remote land populated only by women.


Maybe someday it will appear in book form. Until then, good luck tracking it down.

(If you know Perkins at all, it's probably because of her classic psychological horror story The Yellow Wallpaper (1892), which has been reprinted many times.)

Jumping forward in time, we find Philip Wylie dealing with a similar theme in his 1951 novel The Disappearance. Notably, this work not only features a world without men, but also one without women.


If memory serves, the question What Happened? is never answered.

Another important example is the novella Consider Her Ways (1956) by John Wyndham, in which a modern woman travels mentally to a future time when all men died from a virus.


It was even adapted into an episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.

A few years later we got a couple of examples from authors who are probably better known to science fiction fans than the general public, unlike Wylie and Wyndham.

World Without Men (1958) by Charles Eric Maine takes place in the far future, long after no male babies have been born. The women of this time discover a frozen man from the past, kept in suspended animation by the extreme cold.


They may have forgotten men, but they remembered hair dye and lipstick.

In Poul Anderson's novel Virgin Planet (1959), a man arrives on a world that has not seen one of his sex for many centuries.


He doesn't seem upset by the situation.

I'm sure there are many other examples of which I am not aware (and I'm deliberately ignoring an old story uncovered by my esteemed colleague John Boston a while ago). Let's turn our attention to cinematic versions. It turns out that we can divide them into two types.

Just Some Old Fashioned Girls
With apologies to Eartha Kitt.

First of all, we have movies about women in prehistoric times, or, in a similar fashion, primitive tribes of women dwelling in some remote part of the globe. For some reason or other, these nontechnological ladies have become separated from their menfolk, either deliberately or by chance.

The earliest example of which I am aware is Prehistoric Women (1950). The film has no English dialogue, only some kind of cavewoman language. A helpful narrator tells us what's going on. A group of tough cookies decide they would rather live without men, only capturing them when they're needed for mating. Our movie's hero teaches them the error of their ways, while taking the time to invent fire making.


Apparently the women invented makeup, hair styling, and the miniskirt.

Coming up fast on its heels was Wild Women (1951), demonstrating the other variety of primitive women flicks. In this case, the isolated females exist in modern times, somewhere in darkest Africa (although they're all Caucasians.) They run into a safari of male explorers, and hijinks ensue, as well as a lot of stock footage.


As you can tell from this poster, the movie has a much more interesting alternate title.

Slightly different in theme, but so utterly goofy that I feel compelled to mention it, is The Wild Women of Wongo (1958). Introduced by Mother Nature herself, this bizarre film deals with two primitive tribes. One consists of good-looking women and unattractive men; the other has the opposite problem. When yet another group shows up, this one made of of ape-men, the two tribes finally get together and trade partners.


Did I mention the talking parrot who provides a running commentary?

Planet of the Dames
With apologies to Pierre Boulle.

Next we have a surprisingly large number of movies in which astronauts wind up on another world full of women. The oldest one I know is, perhaps not surprisingly, a comedy.

Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (1953) sends the two comics to Venus. That's right, Venus. At no point does anybody go to Mars. Go figure. Anyway, the planet is full of beautiful women, and no men.


Featuring the Miss Universe contestants seems appropriate.

The same year brought us the more serious, but just as silly, Cat-Women of the Moon, in which the title characters are the sole survivors of the ancient Lunar civilization. There are also a couple of big spiders.


The resemblance of the Hollywood Cover Girls to felines is minimal.

Not to be outdone, the British demonstrated that they can make movies just as goofy as American ones. 1956 offered Fire Maidens from Outer Space, set on the thirteenth moon of Jupiter (whichever one that might be.) Adding a touch of class is the presence of classical music on the soundtrack. As you'd expect, the Fire Maidens wear miniskirts, but these are inspired by ancient Greek designs.


In the United States, from was changed to of, for no good reason I can see.

A couple of years later, we got what is probably the most expensive movie yet of this specific kind. Queen of Outer Space (1958) was written by Charles Beaumont, later to pen several episodes of Twilight Zone, from an idea by the noted playwright Ben Hecht. With those big names at the typewriter, you'd think it would be something other than just another variation on the same old theme. Not so, although Hollywood scuttlebutt has it that it was intended as a spoof. Anyway, the plot has astronauts journey to Venus, where they find a bunch of beauties ruled by a tyrannical monarch.


Contrary to popular belief, Zsa Zsa does not play the Queen of Outer Space.

Probably not last, but maybe least, the same year somebody decided to remake Cat-Women of the Moon and call it Missile to the Moon. Words fail me.


More emphasis on the giant spider, less on the feline females.

Double Trouble
With apologies to Otis Rush.

With all of that background in mind, let's take a look at a newly released film with a title that seems to promise a combination of the two kinds of movies discussed above.

Assuming anything in this poster is at all accurate, it's hard for me to see how a skirmish between savage planet women and female space invaders is the battle of the sexes.

We begin aboard the good ship Cosmos One, which looks like a golden flying saucer zooming through interstellar space. In command is Admiral David King, who provides the audience with some helpful exposition by dictating his log entry for the day.


Wendell Corey as Admiral King. Hey! He was in Agent for H.A.R.M. too!

It seems that the admiral's flagship, as well as Cosmos Two (never seen in the movie) and Cosmos Three are on their way back from Centaurus, carrying refugees from a failed colony world. (I'm guessing this is supposed to be Alpha Centauri.) We'll soon find out that the Centaurans are all played by actors of Asian ancestry. (Was the colony founded by Asian space explorers? The film doesn't say.) The crews of the starships are all played by Caucasian actors.

Aboard Cosmos One are some male officers, a couple of female communications technicians (who wear very tight trousers), and a couple of engineering guys, one of whom, to my horror, proves to be our movie's comic relief. There is also one Centauran, a young woman named Linda. (All the other Centaurans we'll meet have Asian-sounding names. Why is Linda different? Because, as we'll learn later, she's actually only half-Centauran. I guess that's why she's on the flagship.)


Irene Tsu as Linda. Hey! She was in How to Stuff a Wild Bikini too!

In the first of many painful scenes involving our would-be comedian (Lieutenant Red Bradley, if you must know), he does some clumsy flirting with the communication gals. After being rebuffed, he makes a remark about how they shouldn't treat him like a Centauran. Oops. Linda happens to be standing right there, and Bradley has to make a feeble apology for his prejudiced remark.


Paul Gilbert as Bradley, with a typical expression.

The incident introduces the film's theme of discrimination, albeit in a ham-fisted fashion. This is brought out more forcefully aboard Cosmos Three (using the same set as the interior of Cosmos One but with different actors.) The Centaurans, accusing the crew of treating them like slaves, take over the ship.


A communications officer tied up by the rebels. Later she'll reveal that she hates all Centaurans. Admittedly, this is after the mutiny, and when she has a broken arm.

The hijacked spaceship hurtles towards a star called Solaris, if I heard the dialogue correctly. (I understand there's a Polish SF novel with the title Solaris, by one Stanislaw Lem, but it has not yet appeared in English translation. If this is an allusion, it's a darned obscure one.)

Cosmos Three crashes into, you guessed it, a prehistoric planet. Among the survivors is a Centauran woman who happens to be married to one of the ship's officers. (At least not all the folks among the crew are bigots.)


From left to right, the Centauran woman, some guy with an injured head, the woman's husband, and the woman who hates Centaurans.

One of the Centauran rebels shows up and attacks the officer. It turns out to be the Centauran woman's brother. In what must be an incredibly painful moment of decision, she shoots her brother (with a plain old gun, not one of the blasters we'll see later) to save her husband.

Back at Cosmos One, Admiral King defies his commanders at home by turning back to search for survivors of the wreck of Cosmos Three. (The implied subplot of King risking his career leads to nothing, so don't worry about it.)

At this point we introduce the idea of time dilation at velocities near the speed of light, a pretty sophisticated notion for a low budget sci-fi flick. The journey to the prehistoric planet will take three months of ship time, but eighteen years of planet time. I was impressed by this plot element, but they ruin it later by claiming that the time difference has something to do with how quickly the planet rotates.

Anyway, the crew explores the planet, running into things like a giant lizard, which they quickly wipe out with a blaster. (I told you it would show up.) They also have to cross a pool of some kind of deadly liquid on a log. Unfortunately, the way this is filmed, you can tell that they could have easily walked around it.

Worst of all, the movie comes to a complete stop as we endure a comedy routine from Lieutenant Bradley. In addition to relating an anecdote that only leads up to a very weak pun, he demonstrates his supposed karate skills. He manages to do a really impressive forward flip during this scene, landing flat on his back, so I'll admit the actor is quite agile. If nothing else, I have to say that I've never heard anybody make the exact same kind of karate shout.


HI_KEEBA!

Due to all the planet's dangers, not counting the comic relief, Admiral King doesn't allow any of the other crewmembers to take shore leave. Security on Cosmos One must be pretty lax, because Linda, who is sick of being cooped up inside, escapes. She quickly gets in trouble, but is rescued by a local inhabitant named Tang. (The fact that he has the same designation as a brand of drink mix doesn't seem to have occurred to any of the filmmakers.)


Roberto Ito as the unfortunately named Tang.

Tang takes Linda back to his cave and covers her with furs. When he reveals that he had to remove her wet clothing, she slaps him silly. Not to be outdone, he slaps her back. Naturally, this leads to them smooching.


An intimate moment in Tang's bachelor pad.

It turns out that Tang is the son of the Centauran woman and her officer husband. (Remember them?) Weirdly, he's got their bodies frozen in perfect condition in an ice cave. You might think this would put a damper on his burgeoning romance, but Linda doesn't seem too upset.

The folks on Cosmos One are worried about Linda, so they set out to find her. We learn that Linda is actually Admiral King's daughter. This doesn't come as a big surprise, as it was already hinted at by Jung, an older Centauran man on the ship.


Kam Tong as Jung and Merry Anders as Lieutenant Karen Lamont share a moment of concern with Admiral King.

Let me pause a moment to describe a pointless scene that occurs somewhere around here. One of the communications officers puts on some cha-cha music and starts dancing in a hip-swaying manner. (Remember those very tight trousers.) Of course, this draws the attention of the lecherous Lieutenant Bradley. It's a really odd moment, that doesn't have anything to do with anything else.

Out of the blue, some cavemen we've never seen before attack Tang and Linda. The rescue team happens to be right there, and they stupidly injure Tang with a blaster. They grab Linda so they can drag her back to the ship, and Tang runs off.


Linda screams as she sees Tang leave. By the way, she's wearing a dress that belonged to Tang's mother, which is in amazingly good condition and fits her perfectly.

Oh, if you're wondering when we're going to see the women of the prehistoric planet, you might as well relax. Unless you count the female survivors of the crash landing, or Linda, there aren't any. From what I've been able to learn, some scenes involving cavewomen will be added to the slightly racier European version of the movie.


Not for innocent American eyes.

Linda isn't very happy to be back aboard Cosmos One. Admiral King eventually agrees that his daughter would be happier with Tang, so off she goes. (I forgot to mention the big volcanic explosion, courtesy of stock footage, that adds some drama, but doesn't alter the plot in any way.)


Linda temporarily returns to the ship. Note that she is now wearing the fetching mini-sarong that Tang gave her.

We then get the film's shocking twist ending, which you'll see coming a mile away. (Stop reading if you want to be surprised, which you won't be.) As Cosmos One heads out into space, Admiral King looks back at the prehistoric planet, and tells us that it is called Earth. That's right, the oldest and corniest plot in science fiction. I guess Tang and Linda are supposed to be Adam and Eve (although I don't know how the briefly seen cavemen and the unseen-in-America cavewomen figure into things.) It just goes to show you that you shouldn't monkey around with worn-out clichés.


Also not in the American version, although Tang does have a chimpanzee companion.

Well, so much for sticking with the topic of this article! The title of this cheap little picture, best suited for mocking, led me down the garden path. No tribe of primitive women isolated from men, no astronauts landing on a planet full of lonely females. I guess I'll have to wait for the next cinematic example of the genre.


Coming soon!




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Movies, Science Fiction/Fantasy

[April 14, 1966] A New & Clear Bombshell (The War Game)

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by Mx. Kris Vyas-Myall

The War Game

War Game Poster

Not since The Chatterley Trial has there been a piece of media more debated in the UK than Peter Watkins’ The War Game. After being pulled from the air in October I finally managed to see it at the National Film Theatre last night.

Before I get into my review, I think we need to look back at how a 48-minute BBC pseudo-documentary about one of the most discussed contemporary issues became involved in such a storm of controversy. For that we will have to start by travelling back over 300 years to the fields of Culloden.

Culloden

Culloden

After doing a series of well noted amateur short films, Watkins came to general attention with his 1964 BBC documentary\reenactment\drama Culloden. It is extremely hard to define precisely as it is a style I have not seen elsewhere before. Whilst going into a historic event, he presents it as if it is a contemporary documentary on the event, combining narration, action and scripted interviews with various people involved in the battle.

In itself this would be enough of a leap to get it on people’s radars, but Watkins also went further. Firstly, he used an all-amateur cast, in order to get a sense of reality into what we were seeing. Secondly, almost all the shots are done with a handheld camera, getting us further away from the idea we are watching a carefully staged play. Next, he refuses to sanitize the level of violence, both in explaining in the events and showing us the gore of those wounded in both the battle and its aftermath.

Perhaps, most radically of all, he does not give it a comfortable narrative. Among Scottish Nationalists it is often seen as the last flowering of the independent Scotland. Among Unionists it is often seen as the last rebelling of an invasion or major insurrection on British soil. This goes to lengths to show us this was a horrendous situation, where ordinary people were often press ganged into fighting, generals made an awful mess of every decision and so many suffered for pointless reasons.

It is a really affecting piece of television and received both a BAFTA and a British Screenwriters Award. So, it should be no surprise the BBC were interested in getting more work from Mr. Watkins. Though, given the contents of Culloden, they really should not have been surprised at what they got next.

A Political Game?

Peter Watkins in full director mode
Peter Watkins in full director mode

Watkins’ next project was to try to move away from his historical critiques (aside from Culloden, his short films include such subjects as The American Civil War, World War One and The 1956 Hungarian Uprising) to something more contemporary, a realistic account of what would actually happen if Britain were attacked by a nuclear strike, rather than the government propaganda films or SF adventure stories.

Apparently originally designed for the 20th anniversary of Hiroshima, it was then scheduled for an October broadcast, then unceremoniously pulled from our screens. The reasoning being that:

the effect of the film has been judged by the BBC to be too horrifying for the medium of broadcasting.

This has raised some question as to whether this was legitimately the reason. On the face of it this film is genuinely horrifying and, whilst the BBC has also broadcast material that could be argued to be equally harrowing (e.g., the aforementioned Culloden or their recent documentary on Belsen), there is always a difference between what has happened historically and what could happen to the viewer next week.

However, what else did the BBC expect from a project Peter Watkins would do on nuclear war? Why not demand changes earlier? Or air it in a late-night slot with a warning beforehand that it is not for those of a weak disposition?

Whilst the Prime Minister has fully denied any government involvement in the House of Commons, many people (myself included) fail to believe there is not either some political pressure put on the BBC or self-censorship on the part of Director-General Sir Hugh Carlton Greene.

Either way, some of us have been lucky enough to see the final product, thanks to a limited theatrical release. It is both exactly what you would expect and something even more amazing.

A Different Frontier

Star Man's Son by Andre Norton

In science fiction there has been a tendency to treat the result of nuclear war as a chance for a new kind of western or sword & sorcery tale. Consider, for example Andre Norton’s Star Man’s Son or George Pal’s The Time Machine, where the destruction of civilization allows for a form of old-fashioned adventure not available in contemporary society. Even two of the bleakest post-nuclear films so far fall into this trap.

On The Beach Poster

In On The Beach, the destruction of the rest of the world allows for a kind of morose luxury, as those last survivors expecting to die are allowed to choose how things would end and what they want to do with the remainder of their lives. We never see the effect of the radiation clouds coming on the survivors, instead the film merely cuts from people in the streets of Melbourne to their absence.

Panic In Year Zero Poster

Whilst in Panic In Year Zero the family are already outside of the cities when the bombs fall, manage to eke out a survival in the wilderness and then are able to rejoin society afterwards. You could easily make a few changes to the script and make it about a settler family travelling west in the 19th Century.

Peter Watkin’s The War Game does not allow for any shred of optimism. The situation is that China invades South Vietnam, this in turn results in the US threatening to use nuclear weapons to stop them. In solidarity the East German government blocks off West Berlin. As tensions rise, we follow a town in Kent as they first try to cope with the evacuation of women and children from the cities and then the effect of nuclear attack on the area. It shows the full impact this may have, physically, mentally, and socially before what will probably be their inevitable demise.

In itself this would be harrowing enough, but this goes further to really ram the message home to those watching.

No Comfort, Only Fallout

War Game 7a
Resident of a housing estate being interviewed on the fire from a nuclear attack.

The first elements Watkins uses are the stylistic techniques he used in Culloden. Filming in handheld style and doing interviews with non-actors (both real members of the public being asked questions about the possible impact of nuclear attack and the non-actors being hired to act out scripted sections) there were also great touches to make this feel real for example one woman when told about needing to barrack people in her house asked if they will be “coloured”, showing the level of pessimism that Peter Watkins has for humanity and also giving a sense of realism to the film that we're watching.

Doctor interviewed on the categories of injuries in an overburdened hospital.
Doctor interviewed on the categories of injuries in an overburdened hospital.

It takes great pains to show us that the sources for this production are based in reality, both in terms of predictions, such as NATO mock battles and expert panels, and in historical examples, particularly concentrating on the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and the firebombing of Dresden. What is more it makes sure to say this is modelling a better case scenario, and that the bombs used could actually be significantly more powerful.

A lorry full of corpses being driven away.
A lorry full of corpses being driven away.

One area where I could understand some of the criticism of the suitability of the viewing of this film on television would be with some of the actual gore that is shown. This is not to say that it is gratuitous, rather it is showing the real impact of nuclear weapons on members of the general public. For example, it does not vary considerably from the images that have been shared on the victims of the nuclear attack on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

One of the real quotes used between images of nuclear attack.
One of the real quotes used between images of nuclear attack.

It also then works to counterpose this with the standard ways in which ordinary people are used to encountering talk of nuclear war, in order to show how unrealistic and glib they are in comparison to what we see unfolding before us. This is also demonstrated in the choice of Michael Aspel as the narrator, primarily known to the British public for his commentaries on Come Dancing and The Eurovision Song Contest, helping to make someone that would usually be cozy and comforting into something terrifying. For American readers, try to imagine how unsettling it would have been if Panic in Year Zero not only contained teen idol Frankie Avalon, but also had Roger Miller playing the misanthropic father instead of noir star Ray Milland.

“Orphans of the Attack”
“Orphans of the Attack”

All of this combined gives a truly haunting impression that lasts with you long after you have finished watching it. There are so many little moments that burrow into your mind that I could use 2000 words to just list them, and I would still have many sections left to describe. Whether it is the Christmas Church Service at the refugee camp, seagulls squawking as people are shot, or a nurse breaking down as she tries to discuss casualties, it is hard to go away unaffected by the experience.

Critical Targets

An “expert” cut to for further explanations.
An “expert” cut to for further explanations.

There have many criticisms launched at The War Game, so I want to spend some time addressing a few of them.

The first of these is factual. Whilst Watkins and his team have gone to great lengths to ensure a realistic portrayal of a nuclear attack on Britain, there has still been criticism of their predictions. One in particular is that a nuclear attack would not likely take place in such a short space of time, allowing people time to prepare and civil defense authorities to carry out their duties fully.

The response to this is surely to look at the Cuban Missile Crisis a few years ago. Though it is true that it did evolve over some time and we did come perilously close to nuclear war, none of these plans were instituted. As such the preparations will likely only start when it is too late. Further, The War Game goes to great lengths to show that even those able to carry out these plans would not be helped in the long term.

Policemen shooting people with more than 50% burns to alleviate hospital pressure.
Policemen shooting people with more than 50% burns to alleviate hospital pressure.

Another is that narratively it does not have enough impact because of the various tragedies piled on top of each other. For example, it has been argued, that if the sandbag defenses are ineffective, why should we care about the fact that there would be panic buying, scalping and lack of supplies? Or if millions have died, why should it bother us they would have to incinerate piles of corpses in buildings and only identify people via buckets of wedding rings?

I find this critique to be at best facile, and at worst lacking in real humanity. The fact that common human decency also gets lost, and the standard functions of civil society are so lost is what compounds the tragedy of the nuclear death and makes it so terrible. The fact that the extinction of almost all life in Britain is shown to be the inevitable result of what is unfolding does not mean what happens along the way is any less important.

Food control centre used primarily for law enforcement being raided by ordinary people.
Food control centre used primarily for law enforcement being raided by ordinary people.

The final area is political. I am not talking about the criticism from church groups or police about their depiction (criticisms which I do not feel are worth devoting time to) but rather the political impact on the public. The film is so unrelentingly terrifying it could well reduce sentiment in favor of nuclear deterrence on the Western side, whilst it is unlikely to be available in places like the Soviet Union or China.

My response to this is twofold. First, if there is to be a true belief in the value of freedom in the western democracies, it must allow for truth, however unpleasant. Otherwise surely the whole exercise of battling ideologies is nothing more than football teams demanding the loyalty of their local supporters.

But, more importantly, maybe this isn’t a bad idea? If the NATO nations begin to disarm, maybe others will too? Anything that could avert the destruction of humanity is surely a positive step.

End the MADness

Anti-Nuclear march in London, 1961
Anti-Nuclear march in London, 1961

With the war in Vietnam continuing to escalate and more nations developing their own nuclear capability, the scenario outlined in this film becomes more and more likely.

My only worry is that the limited theatrical release will limit the impact this essential piece of cinema could have had. It is one I would want to be shown everywhere, from schools to retirement communities, to both educate and promote debate on where the world is going.

Five Stars and a request that after you have seen it, you share the message with your friends.

We may not have much time to prevent from this becoming a true documentary…




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Movies, Science Fiction/Fantasy

[April 10, 1966] A Fairy Tale from the East: King Thrushbeard

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by Cora Buhlert

Marching for Peace

The long Easter holiday weekend has just passed. For most West Germans, Easter is a time for church services, family dinners, bunnies and chocolate eggs.

However, in the past six years, Easter has also become a time for peace protests. These so-called Easter marches have been inspired by the British Aldermaston marches and always take place during the Easter weekend throughout West Germany.

Easter March in Delmenhorst, 1966
The Easter march in Delmenhorst, a town of 60000 people in my region.

Initially, Easter marches only happened in big cities. But now, fuelled by fears about the war in Vietnam and nuclear armament, even places like Delmenhorst, a town of 60000 people in my region, have Easter marches of their own. Meanwhile, the big marches such as Frankfurt's attract celebrities such as US folk singer Joan Baez, West German actor, singer and comedian Wolfgang Neuss and US peace activist Ira Sandperl.

Easter march 1966 in Frankfurt/Main
Celebrity protesters at the 1966 Easter march in Frankfurt include US peace activist Ira Sandperl, singer Joan Baez and German actor, singer and comedian Wolfgang Neuss

Springtime in Leipzig

However, marches are not the only way to promote world peace and global understanding. Meeting people from the Eastern bloc also helps and so I ventured across the Iron Curtain last month to attend the 1966 spring fair in Leipzig, East Germany. Based on a tradition going back to the middle ages, the Leipzig spring and autumn fairs have become a showcase for East European industry since the war. The Leipzig fairs are also a time when East and West move a little closer together and the Iron Curtain becomes a bit more porous. Particularly, the associated Leipzig book fair offers a chance for booklovers from East and West to meet.

Leipzig spring fair 1966 Wartburg
The brand-new Wartburg 312 is the pride of the East German car industry. But don't think you can just walk into a showroom to buy one. The waiting list is several years long.
Leipzig spring fair 1966
East German construction equipment on display at the Leipzig spring fair
Soviet space probes on display at the Leipzig spring fair
My favourite part of the 1966 Leipzig spring fair was this display of Soviet spacecraft.
East German chocolate bunnies
This young lady presents tasty chocolate Easter treats at the Leipzig spring fair. Finding them in stores is much more difficult.

Because I have family in the nearby town of Schkeuditz, I eschewed the pricy and spy-ridden hotels catering to western visitors and instead spent the night on my Aunt Metel's couch. During the day, I admired the products of East European industrial ingenuity, including a fascinating display of Soviet space probes, and in the evening, I enjoyed the cultural life of Leipzig. Among other things, I went to the cinema to watch the latest East European movies. And this is how I came to see König Drosselbart (King Thrushbeard), a delightful fairy tale that was the highest grossing East German movie of 1965.

Capitol cinema Leipzig
The Capitol cinema in Leipzig with its striking neon sign.

Fairy Tales from the East

Eastern Europe in general and East Germany and Czechoslovakia in particular produce a lot of fairy tale movies. These films rarely reach the English speaking world, but they do make their way onto West German movie and TV screens, because they offer well-made and – at least on the surface – apolitical entertainment for viewers of all ages.

Poster King Thrushbeard

In 1950, the state-owned East German film studio DEFA kicked off its series of fairy tale movies with Das kalte Herz (The Cold Heart), based on a fairy tale by Wilhelm Hauff. The movie was a huge success and so the DEFA started adapting more fairy tales, borrowing stories from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen, but also from Russian folklore. King Thrushbeard, based on the eponymous fairy tale collected by the Brothers Grimm, is already the seventeenth fairy tale movie the DEFA has made since 1950.

Haughty Princesses and Handsome Strangers

The movie follows the plot of the fairy tale very closely and opens with Princess Roswitha (Karin Ugowski) on a coach ride with her governess Beatrix (Evamaria Heyse). Roswitha urges the coachman to go faster and faster, until the inevitable happens. The coach strikes a pothole and loses a wheel.

King Thrushbeard 1965
Princess Roswitha (Karin Ugowski) confronts coachman Sebastian (Nico Turoff) after her carriage suffers a mishap in the woods.

Lucky for Roswitha and her entourage, a dashing horseman (Manfred Krug) just happens to pass by and immediately offers his help. The horseman is quite taken by the princess. Roswitha, in turn, doesn't quite know what to make of this handsome and helpful stranger, so she reacts with what we quickly realise is her default response to any situation, haughtiness and snark.

King Thrushbeard
Princess Roswitha pretends not to be interested in the handsome stranger (Manfred Krug).

Roswitha is not just haughty and snarky, she's also a spoiled brat and would be difficult to like if the movie didn't show us her softer side, when she uses her own handkerchief to bind the coachman's bleeding hand. This glimpse at Roswitha's kinder side is not lost on the handsome stranger either, who shamelessly flirts with Roswitha and even gives her a bouquet of little blue wildflowers. This bouquet will reappear throughout the film, indicating that in spite of her behaviour, Roswitha is attracted to the handsome stranger.

However, Roswitha doesn't have time to act on her attraction to handsome strangers she meets in the woods, for she has to return to the castle of her father, King Dandelion (Martin Flörchinger) who is throwing a feast in her honour and has invited several aristocratic and eligible bachelors, hoping Roswitha will choose one of them. Roswitha, however, doesn't want to marry, least of all one of the men her father has chosen for her.

King Thrushbeard 1965
Roswitha and her long suffering father King Dandelion (Martin Flörchinger)

The Hateful Eight

We first meet Roswitha's suitors at the castle, impatiently awaiting the arrival of the Princess. And immediately, the viewer sympathises with Roswitha and her reluctance to marry any of these men, because the suitors are a terrible bunch.

There is King Heinz-Eduard, the favourite of Roswitha's father, who's rich, fat and eats way too much. Roswitha compares him to a wine barrel. King Wenzel of Weinreich is ugly, has crooked teeth and likes alcohol a little too much. Knight Balduin von Backenstreich is rotund, clumsy (he has his proposal written down on a cue card he carries in his sleeve and still messes it up) and so short that Roswitha wonders how he can even carry his sword. Lord Zacharias von Zackenschwert is bald, scarred and really, really loves battles and telling war stories. He presents Roswitha with the medals he's won. Duke Adolar von Antenpfiff has a terrible dress sense and is also old enough to be Roswitha's grandfather. Count Eitelfritz von Supp is incredibly vain, thinks wearing a red shag carpet is the height of fashion. He also appears to find Roswitha's other suitors far more interesting than the princess herself, but since this is a movie for children, Count Eitelfritz's romantic preferences remain allusions. Prince Kasimir, finally, seems tolerable at first glance, except that he never had an original thought in his life and always says what he thinks the other person wants to hear.

King Thrushbeard 1965 The terrible suitors
Would you want to marry any of these men? Roswitha's suitors are not exactly promising.

In short, they're all terrible and Roswitha is not shy about letting her suitors know exactly what she thinks of them. In general, it is notable that while Roswitha may be haughty and a pain in the backside at times, she's also a far cry from the wilting and bland princesses found in western fairy tale movies such as Disney's. Roswitha is sassy and knows exactly what she wants, whether in a husband or in a gown. There is a scene early on where she refuses to wear the (very ugly) gown and blonde wig her father has chosen for her and instead opts for a simpler gown and her natural red hair. 22-year-old East German actress Karin Ugowski, a regular in the DEFA fairy tale movies, imbues Roswitha with a lot of charm without losing her prickliness.

King Thrushbeard 1966
The entire annual East German curtain production was used up to make this gown and then Roswitha doesn't even want to wear it, much to the dismay of her governess Beatrix (Evamaria Heyse)

In addition to the terrible eight, a surprise suitor puts in an appearance and he's none other than the handsome stranger Roswitha met in the woods. But though Roswitha was quite taken by the handsome stranger before, she now rejects him as well. This time around, Roswitha objects to the handsome stranger's beard, which she insists looks like the beak of a thrush, hence the nickname King Thrushbeard.

Manfred Krug King Thrushbeard
I'm not a fan of the beard Manfred Krug is sporting here either, but Roswitha should know that beards can be shaved off.

A King in Disguise

However, Roswitha has overplayed her hand. Her father is furious that she rejected all the suitors again and was extremely rude about it as well. So the king swears that he will marry off Roswitha to the first beggar who appears at the castle gates. Lo and behold, promptly a wandering minstrel playing a hurdy-gurdy appears outside the castle. Meanwhile, King Thrushbeard has mysteriously vanished.

King Dandelion wavers about marrying off his only daughter to a wandering minstrel, but the insulted suitors hold him to his word and so Roswitha is married to the minstrel and cast out of the castle.

The true identity of the minstrel will not come as a surprise to anybody but Roswitha, even if the DEFA make-up department did its best to disguise Manfred Krug with a fake beard and to cover up the distinctive scar on Krug's forehead, legacy of his pre-acting career as a steelworker, with a hairpiece. Yes, the wandering minstrel is none other than King Thrushbeard in disguise, out to teach the princess a lesson and win her after all.

King Thrushbeard 1965
Roswitha and her minstrel husband at the castle gates.

Eastern Jazz

28-year-old Manfred Krug is a rising star in East Germany and King Thrushbeard certainly demonstrates why. Whether king or minstrel, he always displays his cocky working class charm and has great chemistry with his co-star Karin Ugowski. King Thrushbeard (we later learn that his real name is Hans) takes no crap from Roswitha and gives as good as he gets. But contrary to his fairy tale counterpart, he's not a jerk, but instead treats Roswitha with kindness and patience.

Manfred Krug is not just an actor, but also a talented singer and songwriter, skills that he gets ample chance to show off in King Thrushbeard. Both East and West Germans love schlager, sappy pop songs of love lost and won, so schlager make up most of Manfred Krug's musical output. However, his true love is jazz, which he calls "the best gift our American brothers ever gave us".

Manfred Krug plays jazz
Manfred Krug and his band Die Jazz Optimisten play jazz in East Germany.

So how good a singer is Manfred Krug? A very good one, it turns out. Check out his amazing version of "House of the Rising Sun", which I for one prefer to The Animals'. Krug also wrote the German lyrics, which touch on taboo subjects such as race relations in the US South.

Jazz und Lyrik
Jazz und Lyrik, one of Manfred Krug's records

Crafting Lessons in the Woods

The songs that Krug sings in King Thrushbeard are far more traditional, though pleasant. However, the people of the town, through which Roswitha and her new husband pass, only have a few pennies to spare for a wandering minstrel. The minstrel spends those few pennies on an apple for Roswitha. In the real world, he tells her, things cost money and they have none.

King Thrushbeard 1965
Roswitha and her new husband take a stroll across the market
Manfred Kurg and Karin Ugowski in King Thrushbeard
The minstrel performed such a lovely song to buy this apple and now Roswitha doesn't even want it.

The minstrel takes Roswitha to a shack in the woods, where Roswitha turns out to be absolutely hopeless at housework. Nor does she have any marketable skills, which does not bode well for the couple's financial future.

Now the movie turns into "Crafting with Manfred Krug", as King Thrushbeard tries to teach Roswitha basket weaving, spinning and finally pottery (we never learn just how a king came by such practical skills). Roswitha turns out to be bad at all three crafts, but she reveals herself to be a talented painter, so she paints the pots and jugs that her husband makes. Meanwhile, Roswitha is thrilled that her painting skills are actually appreciated, because back at the castle, no one ever did.

Manfred Krug and Karin Ugowski in King Thrushbeard
Crafting with Manfred Krug: Lesson 2: Spinning

Next, King Thrushbeard sends Roswitha to market to sell the pots and jugs they made. Her success is middling, because Roswitha just isn't the stereotypically noisy market wife. On the second day, she sets up her stall a bit apart from the others, only to have a drunk soldier ride straight into it, shattering all her pottery. Humiliated and deeply ashamed, Roswitha runs off into the woods, believing she cannot come home to her husband, after she lost their entire stock.

King Thrushbeard
Roswitha is selling handpainted pottery at the market.
King Thrushbeard
Disaster is about to strike, for in a few seconds this horseman will destroy Roswitha's wares.

Happily Ever After with Meatballs and Parsley

At a well in the woods, Roswitha asks her reflection for advice and gets it in the form of a kitchen boy from the nearby castle who is gathering mushrooms for the royal table. The boy tells Roswitha of an open position in the castle as a kitchen maid, so Roswitha goes with him. She is quickly hired, especially since it turns out that she is very good at making the king's favourite dish, meatballs with parsley sauce, which – quelle surprise – also just happens to be her husband's favourite dish.

Meanwhile, King Thrushbeard is looking for his missing wife and learns what happened from the other market vendors. Realising that he overdid the whole charade, he goes in search of Roswitha, enlisting the aid of his most trusted courtiers and servants. The cook recognises the king's description as the new kitchen maid.

King Thrushbeard 1965
Roswitha has made meatballs with parsley sauce for the king.

So King Thrushbeard throws a big wedding feast and has Roswitha make meatballs with parsley sauce (a specialty from Saxony) as the main course. He also insists that she personally serves the meal. When Roswitha realises who the king is she drops the tureen with the meatballs (this movie certainly is hard on tableware) and runs off once again. King Thrushbeard catches up with her, apologises and the two are married for real. And they lived happily ever after.

King Thrushbeard wedding
Roswitha and King Thrushbeard celebrate their wedding with a dance.

King Thrushbeard is an delightful film. It sticks close enough to the original plot that everybody recognises it at once, but also updates the 150-year-old story to remove some of the more unpleasant aspects of the original, where King Thrushbeard is very much a jerk. The cast is excellent, particularly the two leads, but also the supporting actors playing the various suitors.

One thing about the film that surprised me were the rather basic sets. The movie was shot entirely in the DEFA studios in Potsdam Babelsberg and it shows. Even the woods through which Roswitha and King Thrushbeard pass repeatedly are obviously a studio set. The castle, the town and the minstrel's shack consist of random set pieces and bits of furniture against a plain grey studio background. The result is a highly stylized look, partly reminiscent of silent movies and partly of the fairy tale stage plays that are a staple of German theatres in the run-up to Christmas. I have seen DEFA movies with location footage and elaborate sets, so this is a deliberate artistic choice, not an economic necessity. Allegedly, the reason for the stylized sets is the theory that realistic sets would only confuse young viewers and distract from the plot.

A Socialist Fairy Tale?

So how political is King Thrushbeard, considering it is a movie from beyond the iron curtain? On the surface, it's not very political at all, considering it is an adaptation of a 150-year-old fairy tale cum morality play, featuring kings and princesses. However, at second glance, Socialist politics do become apparent, though they are more subtle than the blunt messaging e.g. in the East German science fiction film The Silent Star.

For starters, the movie very much stresses the value and importance of work. It is his ability to work with his hands that sets King Thrushbeard apart from the useless suitors and Roswitha's redemption involves getting a good honest proletarian job, first as a ceramic painter, then as a pottery vendor and finally as a kitchen maid.

Furthermore, the second song the minstrel sings explicitly states that both excessive wealth and poverty are bad for society and that equality is the best state. It's the Socialist message in a nutshell.

King Thrushbeard 1965
King Heinz-Eduard, one of Roswitha's terrible suitors, is a caricature of a fat and rich capitalist.
King Thrushbeard
Lord Zacharias von Zackenschwert is a stereotypical war mongering Prussian officer.

The terrible suitors can also be seen as an indictment of various vices. We have a drunkard, a war monger, a glutton, a man who ostentatiously shows off his wealth, a pompous fellow with a monocle, a yes-man who parrots what others wants to hear, a stammering idiot and a man who cares about his own appearance above all else. These, the movie tells us very clearly, are the sort of people the real existing Socialist republic of East Germany does not need. Though it is notable that the vices of the bad suitors also line up with the seven deadly sins of Christianity.

King Thrushbeard Russian poster
The Russian poster for "King Thrushbeard"

But don't let my comments about the political content of the movie scare you off. King Thrushbeard is an enjoyable fairy tale for young and old.

Four stars




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Movies, Science Fiction/Fantasy

[March 4, 1966] Sanguinary Cinematic Surgery (Blood Bath and Queen of Blood)

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by Victoria Silverwolf

Holiday for Hemophiles

A rather lurid double feature showed up at my local movie house a few days ago. Naturally, I had to go see it.


Nothing says Fun For The Whole Family like Shrieking Mutilated Victims.

Besides being released by (or escaping from) the same production company, these two films would seem to have little in common other than the prominent use of the word Blood in the title. This shouldn't come as a surprise, since American International also brought us Blood of Dracula (1957), Night of the Blood Beast (1958), and A Bucket of Blood (1959).

One is a black-and-white supernatural thriller, the other is a science fiction melodrama, full of bright colors. Quite different, right?

Actually, they resemble each other closely in a very specific way. Both make extensive use of footage from other movies. The scenes are chopped up, rearranged, and slapped back together, like making a Frankenstein's monster from random body parts. I'll go into detail as I discuss each film.

Art in the Blood

Let's start with Blood Bath, a confusing story that began as an ordinary crime drama.


Nothing like this actually happens in the movie. That's advertising for you.

Take a deep breath, because the path to the final product on screen is a long and tortuous one. (You may also find it torturous. Please note the distinction between these two terms.)

According to Hollywood gossip, this thing started life as a tale of murder filmed in Yugoslavia. It had something to do with a painting by the great artist Titian. None of this remains in Blood Bath.


Not a Yugoslavian crime film.

In fact, all we've got left are some nice scenes of Yugoslavia and the presence of actor William Campbell, familiar to me for his work in the psychological shocker Dementia 13 (1963). It was a pretty decent scare flick, written and directed by a newcomer named Francis Coppola.


Campbell stars in Blood Bath as an insane artist who lives in an old bell tower.

The next stop in the convoluted road to Blood Bath was to dump the plot and turn it into a horror movie involving a crazed painter. He imagines that he's possessed by the spirit of an ancestor, also an artist, who was condemned as a sorcerer way back in the bad old days. He kills his models and dumps them into a vat of wax.

Apparently this wasn't creepy enough for the producers. More new footage establishes that the madman is also a shapeshifting vampire. I don't mean that he turns into a bat or a wolf. I mean that he turns into another actor.

You see, Campbell was no longer available. Some other guy, who looks nothing at all like Campbell, plays the artist when he changes into a bloodsucker.


Not William Campbell.

I previously mentioned the movie A Bucket of Blood, which was an enjoyable black comedy about a guy who becomes an acclaimed sculptor when he accidentally kills a cat and covers the body in clay, creating his first masterpiece. He goes on to murder people and turn them into works of art in the same way. (I said it was enjoyable, not in good taste.)

Anyway, that film contains a great deal of biting satire concerning the pretentions of arty beatnik types. Blood Bath tosses that into the mix as well, resulting in a movie with wild shifts in mood from grim to comic.


Beatniks!

One artist produces what he calls quantum art by loading a pistol with a packet containing paint and shooting it at the canvas. Another applies paint directly to the face of a model, then shoves her into the canvas. (I felt sorry for the actress playing this tiny role, who had to put up with getting some kind of goop on her face.)

All this makes the movie seem like a real mess, and I can't deny that it's even less coherent than I've made it sound. And yet it's not without interesting moments. As I've mentioned, there are some fine scenes of Yugoslavia. (The film actually takes place in Southern California, so there are some inconsistencies. Notably, the bell tower is supposedly from medieval times.) The cinematography, in general, is quite good, creating an eerie mood, full of darkness and shadows.

The vampire attacks, although they stick out from the rest of the film like sore thumbs, are done with some imagination. There's one at a merry-go-round, and another in a swimming pool.

In particular, I was very impressed with a hallucinatory sequence. The artist imagines himself in a desert landscape full of strange objects, while his ancestor's mistress dances and laughs at him.


It reminds me of a Salvador Dali painting.

The ending, which I won't give away here, doesn't make much sense, but is strangely effective in its own way. That pretty much describes the whole movie, really.

Red Planet, Green Vamp

Let's leave Yugoslavia/California and head for outer space, in order to meet the Queen of Blood.


The portrait of the Queen is pretty accurate, but the movie does not feature tiny people floating in a giant spider web.

We start with some really nifty abstract art under the opening titles.


Painting by John Cline. He gets on screen credit, too.

Our helpful narrator tells us that it's the year 1990. People have settled the Moon, and are planning voyages to Mars and Venus. Space travel is under the auspices of the International Institute of Space Technology.

The IIST receives signals from another solar system, indicating intelligent life. We then cut to scenes of the alien world.  These are quite impressive, and show a great deal of visual imagination.


Looks like something Chesley Bonestell might have dreamed up, doesn't it?

Let me back up a bit and explain why some parts of this movie look quite lovely, and others look, well, cheap. Queen of Blood takes much of its footage from a Soviet film, Mechte navstrechhu. My Russian is a little rusty, but this seems to mean something like To the dream.

Similar things have happened in the past. The Noble Editor and the Young Traveler have already told us how the Soviet film Nebo Zovyot (The sky is calling, more or less) emerged as Battle Beyond the Sun in American theaters.

Last year, Planeta Bur (Storm planet) showed up as Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet. I'm sure more of this kind of thing will go on in the future. Why? Simply because the Soviet SF films are so visually impressive.


Take a look at this scene from the alien world in Queen of Blood, for example.

Back at the IIST, we meet our heroes, about to take a lunch break. Their meal is interrupted by the announcement that the alien message has been translated.


From left to right, John Saxon as Allen, Judi Meredith as Laura, Dennis Hopper as Paul, and Don Eitner as Tony. For a supposedly international organization, the IIST is sure full of Americans.

All four are astronauts, and Laura is also the communications expert we saw listening to the alien broadcast. She and Allen are romantically involved, but that doesn't prevent them from acting in a fully professional manner when on the job. I'll give the film credit for making Laura a vital character in the plot, rather than simply the Girl.

The leader of the IIST tells a huge crowd of listeners (more Soviet footage) that an alien spaceship is on its way to our solar system.


Very special guest star Basil Rathbone, everybody's favorite Sherlock Holmes, as the director of the IIST.

A small device, containing a record of the voyage, falls into Earth's ocean. This reveals that the aliens suffered an accident and crash landed on Mars.


The beautiful alien spaceship, before it leaves its home planet.

By the way, the scene in which the crowd listens to the announcement is visually stunning. It features a statue of heroic proportions, symbolizing humanity's exploration of space.


Seriously, isn't that monument gorgeous?

Naturally, the IIST sends astronauts to Mars to contact the aliens. Aboard the oddly named spaceship Oceano are Laura and Paul, along with a Dutch-accented commander. (OK, not everybody in the IIST is American or British.) The vessel is launched from the Moon, which allows us to see some very nice Soviet models of a lunar base.

The Oceano gets hit by a so-called sunburst on the way to Mars, forcing them to use extra fuel and causing some damage. They find the alien spaceship, occupied by one dead extraterrestrial. They figure out that some sort of lifeboat must have carried away the survivors of the crash.


In other news, home sales increase.

Because the Oceano II isn't ready yet — couldn't they think of another name? — Allan and Tony volunteer to take the much smaller Meteor to help with the search for the lifeboat. They can't land the tiny vessel on Mars and then take off again, due to limitations on how much fuel they can carry, but they can land on Phobos, due to the lesser gravity. (Hey! Some real science!)


The view from Phobos. Nice work, comrades.

The logistics of the space voyages get pretty complicated here. After the guys on the Meteor find the sole surviving alien on Phobos, thanks to pure dumb luck, it turns out that Allan can travel to Mars to join the crew of the Oceano with his extraterrestrial passenger aboard the Meteor's own lifeboat, but that Tony has to stay on Phobos and wait to be rescued by the Oceano II when it shows up in a week.

We finally get to meet our title character. She's well worth waiting for. Looking very much like a human woman, except for her green skin, she remains mute throughout the film. This makes her all the more intriguing.


Czech actress Florence Marly as the Queen of Blood.

Communicating with the Earthlings strictly through facial expressions and gestures, she clearly coveys a sense of friendship for the males, but dislike for Laura. Paul soon teaches her to drink water from a bottle, but she refuses all offers of food. She also reacts violently when Laura tries to take a blood sample from her, knocking the syringe to the floor in anger.


Paul demonstrates how to use a squeeze bottle. The Queen of Blood is more interested in another liquid.

Well, given the title, you can probably guess what comes next, and who the first victim will be. Suffice to say that the Queen of Blood was quite right to be suspicious of Laura, who turns out to be the film's real hero.


Queen of Blood eggs, suggesting that there should be a question mark at the end of the above phrase.

A Bloody Good Time

I won't claim these two films are masterpieces. Both have serious flaws.

Blood Bath is incoherent, to say the least. It does have some moody scenes, however, and its lack of plot logic gives it a dream-like feeling that may be appealing.

Queen of Blood suffers from the cheapness of the American scenes, obviously filmed on small stages, as opposed to the sweeping vistas of the Soviet scenes. On the other hand, Florence Marly's performance is compelling.


Oh, that's where the question mark went.

If you enjoy these movies, maybe you'll be inspired to do a good deed of some sort once you leave the theater.

The Journey is once again up for a Best Fanzine Hugo nomination — and its founder is up for several other awards as well! If you've got a Worldcon membership, or if you just want to see what Gideon's done that's Hugo-worthy, please read his Hugo Eligibility article! Thank you for your continued support.




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Movies

[February 16, 1966] An import-ant next step in my Sci-fi journey (Them!)

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by Dana Pellebon

A Fortuitous Meeting

Hello travelers! I’m very excited to begin my journey with you. I had the pleasure of recently meeting Gideon Marcus at a fundraiser for Heifer Inc. While raising money for this important organization, I had the opportunity to talk with him about some of our shared interests. We found out that we were both born in California, enjoyed quite a bit of the same music, and have a shared love of sci-fi.

My love of sci-fi began with the release of the Godzilla movies from Japan. The fantastical storylines and the varied monster villains captures my imagination. The excitement of it all culminates with the King of the Monsters, Godzilla, taking over the screen, creating havoc, and establishing dominance. So when Gideon talked about writing something for Galactic Journey, it was an easy choice for me to say yes and then to cast about for an example of my favorite genre of sci-fi movies, giant monsters.


Gojira, 1954

It's Movie Time!

I was lucky to find a fine example of the genre from the last decade on television. Them! was released in 1954, the same year Godzilla first made landfall. Written by Ted Sherdeman and directed by Gordon Douglas, Them! is one of the pioneers of the nuclear monster movies and is one of the first overgrown bug features. At least, so it said in the newspaper. Thus intrigued, last weekend I settled into my couch with my Jiffy Pop popcorn to spend the next hour and a half transfixed.


Them!, 1954

The story opens with some fantastic mood music and sweeps over the desert with a bird’s eye view from a plane. That alone is already exciting. Soundtracks are so important to the feel of the movie and the soundscape immediately inspires dread and suspense. You see a figure walking alone, which is an unusual way out in the middle of nowhere, and it turns out to be a mute little girl. As soon as I see a kid wandering alone obviously traumatized, it immediately puts me on edge which heightens the already suspenseful moments. When the officers start to transport the young girl to the hospital, there’s a high pitched sound and you see her respond briefly unbeknownst to the officers next to her. But, it’s a disconcerting moment. Further investigation finds she is the sole survivor of an attack on her family. At this point, the movie sets the stage for a mystery and the suspense is already killing me to find out what’s next.

More Than Just A Pretty Face

Another killing and disappearance later, the police and FBI agents on the case are perplexed to learn two scientists from the Department of Agriculture are joining the investigation. Meeting them at the airport, the first exit from the plane shows the legs of a man, Dr. Harold Medford. On the second exit, you could see the shapely legs of a woman in heels. I am pleasantly surprised that the second scientist is a woman named Dr. Patricia Medford, the daughter of Dr. Harold Medford. The focus, however, is not on her as an attractive woman but as a researcher. She isn’t there as decoration but is an active, equal part of the investigative team. Having a female lead character where the central theme is her brains and not her beauty is a refreshing departure from how women are commonly depicted in film.


Drs. Patricia and Harold Medford deep in discussion while Agent Graham and Sgt. Peterson listen in

She and her father are myrmecologists and they take the lead on the investigation into the killings. They are very reticent to give information and are hostile to questions about their process. It is surprising how much leeway the scientists are given with the FBI and police. But, a strong woman lead makes me happy and it is a pleasant change of pace over the traditional paradigm. After the team starts investigating in the desert where the child was found, the gigantic ant reveals itself to attack Dr. Patricia Medford. The first ant vs. human shootout occurs on film and it is a gas! Even though the gigantic ant is a little corny and doesn’t move very fast, there is a palpable sense of urgency. After realizing hand guns are not doing the trick, the police officer brings out a machine gun and puts down the ant.


Ant attacks Dr. Patricia Medford and Agent Graham!

The rest of the plot becomes a cat and mouse game of finding the wayward ants and eradicating them. From cyanide gas to bombing to flamethrowers, humans go through great lengths to protect themselves and their territory. It is at this point that I feel pretty sorry for the ants. They really were just following their nature, foraging for food and being ants. In fact, the whole situation is really our fault: it is revealed that the ants were mutated by the atomic bomb tests of the 40’s. Our thirst for atomic bombs created literal monsters that then have to be killed. Dr. Harold Medford states the final lines of the film, which ends up being the most poignant moment for me personally:, “When Man entered the atomic age, he opened a door into a new world. What we’ll eventually find in that new world, nobody can predict.”


Final Showdown!

The Atomic Age?

I’m holding out hope that this new nuclear world Dr. Medford mentions won’t be in too much of a hurry to destroy itself. We've already seen the horrors it produced at Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945 and we got a sneak preview of coming attractions during the Cuban Missile Crisis. And now I have to be on the lookout for giant animals when I’m back in the desert Southwest!

Nevertheless, I really enjoy this movie, which shares common themes with Godzilla. The conceit that humanity’s interests take precedence, regardless of the cost to nature (and the ensuing catastrophe this causes humanity) is something that gets played with quite a bit in those movies and I end up ultimately rooting for what many people consider to be the villain. Plus, in addition being morally resonant, Them! is just a lot of fun. I am now craving more “monster” movies and will be scanning the local listings to expand my palate of sci-fi.

Four stars.

The Journey is once again up for a Best Fanzine Hugo nomination — and its founder is up for several other awards as well! If you've got a Worldcon membership, or if you just want to see what Gideon's done that's Hugo-worthy, please read his Hugo Eligibility article! Thank you for your continued support.




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Movies

[January 24, 1966] The Sincerest Form Of Espionage (Agent for H.A.R.M., Our Man Flint, and Other Bond Imitations)

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by Victoria Silverwolf

My Word Is My Bond

The late Ian Fleming certainly didn't invent spy fiction, but he started an explosive interest in the genre with the publication of his 1953 novel Casino Royale.


And he designed the cover art, too.

Introducing British secret agent James Bond, also known as 007, the book was followed by eleven more novels, as well as the story collection For Your Eyes Only.

Spies On The Screen

Of course, the current craze for all things Bond-related didn't really get started until the release of the film adaptation of Dr. No, making an international superstar of Scottish actor Sean Connery in the role of Bond. Since then, we've seen movie versions of From Russia With Love, Goldfinger, and Thunderball. It seems certain that there will be more to come, at least until they run out of Fleming titles.

It's no surprise to find out that other filmmakers around the world have jumped on the bandwagon. Many of their productions, made in Europe, have yet to appear in the USA, so are beyond this discussion. (I presume that some will eventually show up, in heavily edited and badly dubbed versions, on American television.) Let me mention, at random, a few that have appeared in Yankee movie theaters.

Hot Enough For June stars Dirk Bogarde as an ordinary fellow looking for a job who gets mixed up in international intrigue because he happens to speak Czech. Known as Agent 8 3/4 on this side of the pond, just in case we ignorant Americans didn't realize it was a spy movie, it offers both action and fish-out-of-water comedy, in the form of the reluctant secret agent.


As you can tell if you've seen the trailer, it also offers Sylva Koscina's legs.

A similar combination of laughs and thrills appears in the French film That Man from Rio (L'Homme de Rio), one of the few foreign language Bond imitations to reach English-speaking audiences.


The clever screenplay was nominated for an Academy Award. You can enjoy watching the trailer at your local art cinema house, if you don't mind subtitles.

We go from semi-comic adventures to out-and-out farce with Carry On Spying, one of the many films in the long-running Carry On series of lowbrow British comedies. Given that the evil organization in this movie is called STENCH, you realize that this isn't exactly subtle wit.


The oddest thing I found out when I saw the trailer is that it's in black-and-white. The genre screams for bright, bold colors.

The United Kingdom doesn't have a monopoly on silly spy spoofs. The great Vincent Price has the title role in the American comedy Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine. It's so goofy that it reminds me of the beach movies to which I am addicted. And the Supremes sing the groovy title song!


Catch the trailer to see Price parody his role in The Pit and the Pendulum.

There are other followers of the Bond formula that are more dramatic. Despite a few sly references to you-know-who, Licensed to Kill is mostly a serious imitation of the original.


It was re-edited and given a nutty new title for American audiences. They also added a title song performed by Sammy Davis, Jr.

Idiot Box Intelligence Agents

Secret agents also populate our living rooms on the small screen. One of the most popular television versions of the espionage game comes in the form of The Man From U.N.C.L.E., starring Robert Vaughn as the improbably named operative Napoleon Solo and David McCallum as his Russian partner Ilya Kuryakin. Together, they fight each week against the sinister organization THRUSH.


U.N.C.L.E. stands for the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement. THRUSH doesn't stand for anything but evil, as far as I know.

There's also the relatively new series I Spy, with a pair of secret agents pretending to be a semi-pro tennis player and his trainer. The show manages to be both serious and comic, and benefits from the playful dialogue between the two leads.


Comedian Bill Cosby as Alexander Scott and Robert Culp as Kelly Robinson.

Also recently arriving is a series that combines the popular Western genre with the gadgets and evil megalomaniacs of spy fiction. The Wild Wild West features two secret agents working for President Ulysses S. Grant. Their adventures often involve bizarre science fiction technology, far beyond what you would expect in the Nineteenth Century.


Ross Martin as Artemus Gordon, Master of Disguise, and Robert Conrad as James West, the Bond of the Old West.

While I was working on this article, the Noble Editor informed me that the whodunit series Burke's Law, some episodes of which were written by Harlan Ellison, has changed its name to Amos Burke, Secret Agent. The millionaire playboy police captain is now a millionaire playboy spy.


The Noble Editor also informs me that it's not very good.

Naturally, we have a situation comedy based on spy stuff. Get Smart pits the good guys of CONTROL against the bad guys of KAOS (who obviously don't spell very well.)


Don Adams as Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, and Barbara Feldon as the otherwise nameless Agent 99.

The Young Traveler has already waxed poetic over the British import Danger Man (known as Secret Agent in the USA, because we have to have everything spelled out for us), so I won't go into any detail.


Patrick McGoohan as John Drake. In some ways, he's the antithesis of James Bond.

I've heard good things about another TV show from the UK, but it hasn't reached these shores yet. I'm talking about The Avengers, a tongue-in-cheek adventure series starring another Patrick, this one surnamed Macnee. It started broadcasting in 1961, before the first James Bond movie was released.


Patrick Macnee as John Steed and Honor Blackman as Cathy Gale. Blackman left the series to play a character with an unusual name in Goldfinger.

I understand that the American Broadcasting Company has purchased the rights to the series, and will begin showing it in the USA in a couple of months.


Wearing Steed's bowler is his new partner, Emma Peel, portrayed by Diana Rigg.

Mad About Spies

I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't mention a series of cartoons appearing in Mad magazine, of which I am a regular reader. Cuban expatriate Antonio Prohias writes and draws Spy vs Spy, which shows a Black Spy and a White Spy taking turns destroying each other. Once in a while, the female Gray Spy shows up and gets the better of both of them. This femme fatale is drawn in a more-or-less realistic fashion, unlike the pair of cone-faced male spies.


The feature changes its name to Spy vs Spy vs Spy when she arrives. For those of you who don't read Morse code, the message says By Prohias.

Double-Oh Double Feature

Speaking of Spy vs Spy, a pair of would-be Bonds arrived in American theaters this month, ready to take on each other at the box office. Who will prevail? Let's take a look at the earlier arrival first.

In H.A.R.M.'s Way


The trailer emphasizes Danger! rather than Women!

We begin with a couple of guys running through a tunnel. A soldier chases them, but gets shot down by one of them. The two reach safety, they think, but the man they meet, who was supposed to help them cross the Iron Curtain, betrays them. He shoots one of them with a funny-looking gun that makes a kind of a hiss when it fires. We'll find out that this thing is a spore gun, and it turns people into bubbling green fungus.


Who ordered an extra large spinach and pepperoni pizza?

The other guy overpowers the traitor and gets away. It turns out that this is a defecting scientist, who apparently created the deadly spore and who is working on a cure for it.


Carl Esmond as Spore Guy.

After the semi-abstract title sequence, which seems to be mandatory for this kind of thing, we get to meet our hero, Adam Chance, Agent for H.A.R.M., played by Mark Richman. In proper Bond style, he's a real ladies' man. He's got a date with his boss's secretary, but has to break it to take on a new assignment.


She's a very minor character, and I wasn't even going to mention her, but I wanted you to see her truly amazing two-tone beehive hairdo.

He also gets some smooching from a female agent he's training in judo and marksmanship. Although she's no amateur when it comes to martial arts, he overcomes her, because he's all manly and stuff.


Romance, Adam Chance style.

Adam goes to visit the scientist in his oceanside home. Also present is his niece, whom he hasn't seen in twenty years. We find out right away that she's really an imposter, working for the Commies. Attention girlwatchers: She spends almost the entire movie in a skimpy bikini. (By the way, our hero often wears a green turtleneck with a pale yellow sweater. Somehow that doesn't seem as elegant as Bond's tuxedo.)


Barbara Bouchet, as the phony niece, reacts to Adam's choice of attire.

It seems that the Bad Guys plan to spray the spores over American crops, so those rascally capitalists will turn into slimy green goop. They've got their headquarters in a little house just over the border in Mexico. They also have only about four or five guys, and one small plane, so I assume they're on a budget.


"Tell me the truth, boss; do I look more like Stevie Wonder or Johnny Mathis?"

Well, there's no need to go over the rest of the slow-moving plot. There's a lot of running back and forth between the beach house and the Bad Guys' hacienda. There are some sub-Bond gadgets. (Adam has a tape recorder disguised in an electric shaver. During a conversation with the scientist, he has to casually ask if he minds if he shaves while they talk.) Our hero gets a flat tire, so he steals a motorcycle. Don't try that the next time you get a flat.

Oh, you'd like to know what H.A.R.M. stands for?  The movie reveals this in a shot that lasts a fraction of a second, above a sort of computer map gizmo that keeps track of where the agents are located.  Are you ready?

Human Aetiological Relations Machine.

Don't ask me what that means, or why this American organization uses the British spelling.

Originally an unsold pilot for a TV series, this thing was released to an unsuspecting public as a feature film. The low budget and cramped sets of a television show are visible in every scene. The only way to enjoy it, I think, is to get together with some friends and make fun of it.

The Lighter Side of Espionage


Watch the trailer and you'll understand my lighter joke.

Next to arrive on the silver screens of America was Our Man Flint, with James Coburn playing the title role. We start with scenes (stock footage, with maybe some stuff stolen from other movies) of disasters all over the world. For a moment I thought I was watching Crack in the World again.

Cut to the headquarters of some kind of international organization. Although an establishing shot tells us we're in Washington, D.C., there are folks of different nationalities standing around. The boss is played by Lee J. Cobb. We'll find out later that the organization is known as Zonal Organization World Intelligence Espionage — Z.O.W.I.E.!


On the phone with the President of the United States. This telephone has its own special ring.

Desperate to defeat the mysterious villains behind these events, all the assembled representatives of world governments write down their desired qualifications for the perfect agent. The computer spits out only one name: Derek Flint. Cobb has to call on Flint to convince him to come out of retirement to save the world.

Flint lives in this really cool place, full of all kinds of gadgets. He can change the paintings and statues instantly, with one push of a button. He's got private practice areas for martial arts, fencing, and so forth.


Just part of a routine day for Derek Flint.

He also lives with four women, each of a different nationality, who apparently combine the characteristics of servants — barber, valet, etc. — and girlfriends.


Flint bids a temporary farewell to the ladies

Flint prepares himself for his assignment by stopping his heart for a couple of hours, a talent that will come in handy later. This requires him to maintain what seems to be a rather uncomfortable position.


Coburn is really doing this, without special effects.

After refusing to accept the usual spy gadgets, because he has his own — remember the lighter? — he immediately dispatches a couple of Bad Guys disguised as military guards.


He knows they're phonies because they're wearing ribbons for the Battle of the Bulge, which don't exist. Silly Bad Guys.

The plot gets really complicated from this point, so let me just outline it a bit. Our movie's Bad Girl, played by Israeli beauty Gina Golan, tries to kill Flint by shooting a poison dart at him with the strings of a harp.


Our femme fatale. How much do you want to bet that she falls into our hero's arms?

Traces of the ingredients for Marseilles-style bouillabaisse on the dart lead him to the French port city. Then, after exchanging information with agent 0008 while they have a fake fight, he learns that an organization known as GALAXY is behind the disasters. Golan tries to blow him up with a bomb in a jar of cold cream.

The cold cream leads him to Rome, where he encounters Golan again. Complications ensue when his four girlfriends are kidnapped. It all leads up to the final battle at GALAXY headquarters, situated on a volcanic island.


The Bad Guys have great interior decorators.

It seems that three Mad Scientists want to create a world without war and want, using the disasters they create to blackmail the world into accepting their benign dictatorship. They also use mind control to transform Flint's ladies, and a bunch of other women, into Pleasure Units, to serve the needs of their male minions.

This takes the form of entertaining them in fantasy rooms, where they play the roles of go-go dancers, maidservants of ancient times, and so forth. The most amusing of these is the room where they park in cars with the men in a simulated drive-in theater and smooch on them.

Will Flint defeat GALAXY and get his four girlfriends back? Are you kidding me?


Make that five girlfriends.

Our Man Flint is a very amusing movie. The main source of humor is the fact that Flint is incredibly competent at everything from emergency surgery to cliff diving. Coburn plays the role with just the right sense of cool assurance.

Unlike the poverty-stricken Agent for H.A.R.M., this film obviously has a real budget. The sets are lavish, and the special effects are pretty good, although you can tell that some things are just models. The action sequences are done with excellent stunt work. The movie seems to be making money, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's a sequel in the works.

I'm sure there will be countless more books, movies, television series, comic books, and whatnot inspired by the spy fad. Who knows where a secret agent will show up next?


Maybe in board games. That doesn't look a whole lot like Sean Connery, by the way.




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Movies, Science Fiction/Fantasy

[January 14, 1966] An Excellent Set of Hammers (Dracula Prince of Darkness & Plague of the Zombies)

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by Mx. Kris Vyas-Myall

In the Middle East, there have been some fascinating archeological finds of late. Mr. Ian Blake of the British School of Archeology in Jerusalem has been exploring an area on the Dead Sea coast previously thought to be barren. In fact settlements and finds have been discovered from the late Chalcolithic until the Byzantine era.

Tel Yin’am site in Galilee, Israel
Tel Yin’am site in Galilee, Israel

Whilst further in-land this survey found the site of an early Christian Hermitage.

At the same time, in Damascus, an excavation of the Unmmayad Mosque courtyard has unearthed an ancient temple believed to be from 10th Century BC.

The Ummayad Mosque in Damascus, Syria
The Ummayad Mosque in Damascus, Syria

The excavations have so far revealed impressive structures including a 6” 6’ diameter column and there are further hopes they may find evidence of the Temple of Jupiter which supposedly stood on the site as well.

Whilst in the Middle East archeologists appear to be uncovering old structures, nearer to home Hammer studios have been rebuilding old stories for modern audiences.

The rise, fall and rise of a Great British film studio

In the mid-1950s Hammer was primarily known as a studio making second feature Crime thrillers, with only a couple of forgettable science fiction efforts (Spaceways, The Four-Sided Triangle) under their belt. This changed with them acquiring the rights to adapt Nigel Kneale’s SF Horror TV serial The Quatermass Experiment.

Quatermass Xperiment Poster

Whilst many were skeptical of the changes made (including Kneale himself) the film was a big success and they further adapted both The Abominable Snowman and Quatermass 2. However, it is between these that The Curse of Frankenstein premiered and began the Hammer format as we know it.

In it they take the themes and general ideas of the book but are willing to go their own direction with the film itself. In doing so they created a unique gothic tale that manages to be true to the spirit of Mary Shelley’s books without being a simple retread of what came before. It also established the two great stars of Hammer, with Peter Cushing as the titular Frankenstein and Christopher Lee as his creation.

Dracula Poster

This formula was continued to even greater success with Dracula, with Cushing as Van Helsing and Lee as the titular count. It is a dark gothic take which really outshines any previous adaptation, whilst still being free enough to be entirely its own story. Compared to the standard big monster movies that we usually saw at the cinema in the late 50s, it was astounding.

After that the studio began to produce horror takes in the same mold with a reasonable degree of quality you could expect from each release.

The Damned is, I believe, the last Hammer film to be covered by The Journey, and there is good reason for that. The studio’s output since then has been mediocre at best. The Evil of Frankenstein and Curse of The Mummy’s Tomb were terrible sequels, Kiss of the Vampire was a forgettable attempt to do a new tale in the mold of Dracula. Worst of all, is She. An attempt to film new version of the H. Rider Haggard story that should absolutely have never seen the screen.

It would have been easy to think the studio would never recover from this and continue a downward spiral of subpar efforts. However, they have started this year with a brilliant pair of screamers.

Dracula: Prince of Darkness

Dracula Prince of Darkness Poster

The big selling point of Prince of Darkness is the return of Christopher Lee as Dracula. Whilst this is the third film in the series, the second film did not contain Lee at all, so this return 8 years later is a welcome one.

Knowing this anticipation Terence Fisher makes a clever trick of building up the audience’s anticipation.

Dracula Prince of Darkness 2
Not quite Dracula turns up

One of the best is when we are given a full build up to what we believe is the reveal of Dracula waiting in the darkness, but it turns out to be his servant Klove, with Philip Latham given the outline of Lee’s Dracula from the first film.

This then elevates the scenes when Dracula finally appears halfway through the film, even then he is used sparingly and feels like a dangerous force of nature rather than Bela Lugosi’s evil count. Instead, he is silent, almost animalistic, and unbelievably powerful.

Dracula Prince of Darkness 3
Dracula exerts his influence on Diana

One thing I struggle with is that I do not wish to spoil the film’s conclusion. But it is also one of the best parts of the story. So, I will just say that it makes fascinating use of the vampiric mythology and the character of Diana gets a wonderful moment that feels fully earned by the script.

It is not perfect though. It may seem like a small point, but the setup of it all does feel cliched, with the tourists finding a strange old dwelling and get caught up by the threatening denizens within. With the other ways the film goes in new directions, I wonder they could not have done something different?

Overall, four stars.

The Plague of the Zombies

Plague of Zombies Poster

Hammer has done vampires, werewolves, mummies and even a gorgon, so it was inevitable they would do their own zombie film. Of course, as is the way with this studio, they like to put their own twist on the theme.

Instead of the Caribbean, Plague is set in Cornwall. As the title suggests, a mysterious illness is running rampage through a small town and the local Doctor cannot understand it. When he sends for Sir. James and Sylvia Forbes, they attempt to disinter their bodies but discovers the corpses are missing.

Plague of Zombies 2
Cornered by zombies

Andre Morell and Diana Clare make a great father and daughter investigative team for this story. They manage to tread a careful line between displaying the warmth of their relationship without making it feel out of place in a gothic horror. Sylvia needs to be called out for being able to really drive the narrative along and being a fully rounded character, so often missing from women in horror.

In spite of it being a gothic period piece, it also feels very contemporary. Throughout the whole film the themes of class are front and center. From Claire trying to save a fox from the local hunt, right to mine workers being exploited at the end.

This should not be seen to mean that there are not any scares in here. In fact, there are some excellent scenes of terror. I would say it takes a gentler approach to horror than the creeping dread on display in Prince of Darkness, but it is rare to see a horror film succeed so well as both a piece of social commentary and deliver gothic scares.

Plague of Zombies 3
Necessary drums?

There is the obvious question that must be raised, of the use of voodoo in this film and whether it is still appropriate to show it in this way. For me it is interestingly done as the threat is not from Haitian people but from a white person exploiting these traditions for his own unscrupulous ends. However, perhaps in future films it may be worth excluding these elements altogether? Just a thought.

Overall, this is a much deeper horror film than it first appears and a real jewel for the studio.

A solid four stars.

Hammering It Home

A Hammer Film Production

I believe these two pictures are among Hammer’s best output so far and definitely far ahead of what we have seen coming out over the past couple of years. Hopefully, this is a sign of what is to come soon.

The studio has already filmed two other originals for release later in the year, The Reptile and Rasputin, The Mad Monk, along with an adaptation of Norah Loft’s The Devil’s Own. If these match the quality of these two movies, the studio can be said to have had a spectacular return to form. I am looking forward to what we will see.

One final recommendation, if you are interested to know more about Hammer’s films, I would highly recommend this radio show, which gives great reviews and behind the scenes details on the studio’s output.




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