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[April 8th, 1964] Pooooolo! (Doctor Who: Marco Polo, Parts 5 to 7)


By Jessica Holmes

The caravan winds ever onwards across Cathay. Let’s catch up, shall we?

We’re a bit over halfway through our first historical serial, tagging along with Marco Polo as he travels across China to meet with Kublai Khan. With him are Tegana, a Mongol warlord and obvious baddie, Ping-Cho, a young lady from Samarkand on her way to be married, and of course, our Doctor and his companions. Tegana has been trying (and failing) to bump off our tag-alongs so he can nick the TARDIS for his master, Logai, a rival to the great Kublai Khan. And now a guard has just turned up dead. Could this journey be about to come to a sudden and bloody end?

RIDER FROM SHANG-TU

Our companions find the murdered guard, and are quick to raise the alarm. The men arm themselves, and prepare to fight. There’s a bandit attack coming (a gold sticker for whoever guesses who orchestrated that), and they’ll need all the fighters they can muster.

So they send the women into the tent.

On your own heads be it, lads.

The Doctor advocates taking shelter in the TARDIS, but to no avail, because Marco is just bit too stubborn for his own good. Tegana tries to convince Marco that the Doctor and his companions murdered the guard. To be fair, they did have the motive and opportunity, but what about the means?

I suppose Ian could have made use of the forgotten art of war crockery.

Marco doesn’t really listen to Tegana, so his stubbornness can be good for something, it seems.

Still, they’re going to need more than a few swords if they’re going to win against a pack of bandits. Ian comes up with the ingenious idea to throw bamboo on the fire. Bamboo is a hollow grass, so there’s air inside each stick. What happens to air when it heats up? It expands. And what happens if the grass can’t expand with it?

Pop!

The bandits turn up, and we’re treated to a bit of swashbuckling action as the battle commences. In all the hubbub, Tegana kills the leader of the bandits, sending his secret complicity to the grave with him, and the Doctor dusts off his fencing skills.

Ian’s exploding bamboo trick pays off, and the bandits scatter, leaving the caravan free to lick its wounds and get going again. The Doctor is smart enough to figure out that Tegana was in league with the bandits (well, duh), and Marco starts to warm to the companions again.

A courier from the great Khan arrives, to the surprise of everyone, for they are many, many leagues yet from Shang-Tu. He explains that he had a fresh horse waiting for him at waystations every league, and he wears bells on his clothing to let the ostlers know when he’s about to arrive, so as to waste as little time as possible.

You see, he had an extremely important message for them. A matter of grave urgency.

Kublai Khan says: Hello, how are you?

Oh. Nice of him, I suppose.

Then off we go to Cheng-Ting, the ‘white city’.

The set and costumes here are lovely. I’ll be waxing lyrical about this in a little bit.

What I will not be waxing lyrical about, however, is this fellow here, whose name I never did catch, because I was so distracted by how bizarre his intonation and mannerisms are. He’s the most pompous prat in all of China.

The Doctor’s uncharitable but accurate impression of him is very funny. So, perhaps it was deliberate.

A one eyed man, Kuiju, meets Tegana in the stables, and they strike a deal. Kuiju will steal the TARDIS for Tegana. In great trade caravans, it is so easy for things to be misplaced, after all.

I just had a thought. How heavy is the TARDIS? We saw a few additional rooms during The Edge Of Destruction, so we know that the TARDIS is at least the size of a house on the inside. So, does the weight of the TARDIS match the outer dimensions, or the inner dimensions, or both?

I’m just wondering how they’re managing to transport it. They seem not to have had any problems loading it onto the wagon, so perhaps it does only weigh as much as the outer dimensions. That’ll make it easier to steal, I suppose.

I feel like that probably breaks some law of physics. Don’t ask which. I’m not a Science Lawyer.

Well, it looks like it’s soon to be a moot point, because Ping-Cho’s stealing the keys to the TARDIS! She promised Marco that she wouldn’t reveal to the others where the keys were hidden, but she didn’t say anything about not taking them herself.

I would honestly love it if Ping-Cho came along with the companions as a permanent addition to the crew. Susan gets a friend her own age, Ping-Cho doesn’t have to marry a man old enough to be her grandfather, everybody wins!

But it’d also bring the serial to an end two episodes early, and I’m quite enjoying myself, thank you very much.

Let’s throw a Tegana in the works.

4 out of 5.

MIGHTY KUBLAI KHAN

Tegana foils the companions’ attempt to escape, and Ian ‘confesses’ to taking the key, to protect Ping-Cho. With that, the caravan moves on, and our next stop is at an inn between Cheng-Ting and Peking.

Ian tries once again to convince Marco to give the TARDIS back, and this time, he throws all caution to the wind and flat out tells him that he’s from the future, the TARDIS flies through time and space, and no, they can’t just hang about and get a ship back home from Venice.

Marco, though having seen some wild things in his travels across the far east (like a burning black stone!), has to draw the line somewhere, and the notion of travelling freely between tomorrow, today and yesterday is about a hundred leagues over that line.

What’s more, Marco figures out that Ian lied about stealing the key, and deduces that the only reason he would lie is to protect the real thief: Ping-Cho, who is nowhere to be found.

She has slipped out and is now making her less-than-merry way back to Samarkand, so Ian offers to ride back to look for her.

Ian, can you actually ride a horse? I mean really, properly ride a horse? No, plodding along the beach on a donkey when you’re holidaying in Blackpool doesn’t count.

Ping-Cho makes it back to the way station, and runs into Kuiju as he puts his scheme into action, posing as an envoy from the Khan and tricking that pompous official into letting him take possession of the TARDIS. Oh, and while he’s at it, he scams Ping-Cho out of all her money when she tries to book passage to Samarkand with his caravan.

Nice chap.

Just when it seems Ping-Cho is royally stuffed, along comes Ian! And with the arrival of the real envoy from Shang-Tu, it doesn’t take anyone long to realise that the TARDIS has been stolen.

I think I’d have really liked Ian if he’d been one of my teachers. In another life he’d have been a hero in one of those old adventure serials. Ergo, a cool teacher.

Ian figures the TARDIS is most likely being taken on the road to Karakorum, which was the capital of Genghis Khan’s empire, though by now it’s little more than a field. The Mongols were, and still are, a nomadic people, after all. Their cities don’t tend to stay in one place.

Meanwhile, in Shang-Tu, the companions have finally arrived!

The set for the summer palace is gorgeous. Throughout this serial the sets have been impressive, and the palaces are sublimely ornate. I’ve managed to procure a few colour images taken from production, so as we can see they’re even more beautiful when not viewed on a monochrome television set. The level of detail and care that’s gone into every inch of the production certainly shows, and sells the palace as the splendid heart of this mighty empire.

Still, for all the majesty of the Yuan dynasty, the Doctor isn’t about to kowtow to some puny Earth ruler. He has a bad back, anyway. Perhaps he should try a curtsey?

And now, dear readers.

The moment you’ve been waiting for.

Enter the mighty Kublai Khan!

Were you expecting him to come galloping in on horseback or something? That’s more his grandfather’s style. Kublai Khan is, as Marco Polo notes, ‘the greatest administrator the world has ever seen’, which is a weird boast, but I’ll take his word for it. His vizier is a bit uptight, but the Khan turns out to get along with the Doctor quite well, and it’s not long before the pair potter off to have a soothing bath in the local healing waters.

Back at the way station, Ping-Cho and Ian track down Kuiju (and also the TARDIS), and at knife-point the thief admits that Tegana paid him to steal the ‘caravan’.

And speak of the devil, here he comes!

3.5 out of 5. Nothing extraordinary, but not bad.

ASSASSIN AT PEKING

The confrontation turns deadly when Kuiju ends up on the wrong end of a knife, and moments later the courier from Shang-Tu arrives. Tegana claims Ian was trying to steal the ‘caravan’, Ian claims Tegana was plotting against the Khan, and the courier, having just come to deliver a message and being far too busy to play judge, more or less throws up his hands and says it’s up to the Khan, who has left Shang-Tu for Peking.

Speaking of Peking, we have a lovely set once again. I don’t know much about Chinese art, so I couldn’t say for sure if it’s appropriate to the right period of Chinese history, or whether it’d be like seeing a Norman Rockwell painting in George Washington’s study.

Period accurate or not, it sure does look pretty.

The Doctor and the Khan are getting along happily, drinking tea and playing backgammon. Oh, and betting colossal amounts of lands, goods and chattel on the outcome. I think the Doctor owns about half of the empire now. What’s more, the Doctor seems to have got over his aversion to bowing, as he manages just fine when the Empress shows up.

Lovely costumes once more. Very pretty fabric and some lovely cuts, as can be expected of Chinese textiles.

However.

They’re the wrong period.

Yes, they’re Chinese. They look very authentic. Some nice, authentic, Qing dynasty clothing. The Qing dynasty was last in power in 1912. The last Qing Emperor is actually still alive.

This serial is set during the Yuan dynasty, which ended in 1368. Oh, and we have the entire Ming dynasty separating these two periods.


Courtesy ofWikimedia Commons

This fresco, dated to the Yuan dynasty, shows some differences in the style of clothing. What jumps out to me most are the abundance of flowing fabrics and wrapped robes fastened with a belt. I could be wrong, but the costumes just don’t look like Yuan dynasty clothes to me.

I can’t claim any expertise but I think this might be comparable to seeing Charlemagne in a ruff.

The betting heats up when the Doctor asks to put up the TARDIS as stakes in their game. It’s a big risk, but it might be his best chance of reclaiming his ship. The Khan, however, would much rather he took something a bit less valuable, like the island of Sumatra.

I’m fairly certain that’s not yours to give, Kublai. Do you even have a navy? From what I know of the Mongols they were more into land-based empire building. Horses don’t do all that well on water.

Along comes Marco, and shortly after Ian turns up with Tegana and Ping-Cho, and I will give you three guesses as to whose accounting of events the court sides with. Because of course, Tegana is a Mongol, and Ian is not.

Oh, and Ping-Cho is getting married tomorrow. Now, I think weddings are great. Everyone has fun and you get free cake. But I’m also a big fan of this neat concept called ‘consent’ which seems to be glaringly absent in this marriage. Poor Ping-Cho.

Marco finally admits that laying claim to the TARDIS was wrong of him, but what’s done is done, and Kublai won the game of backgammon anyway.

A sentence ago I said ‘poor Ping-Cho’, but it looks like she’s in luck! Her husband-to-be? A little less so.

Her fiancé, so excited to get to spend the rest of his life with his pretty young bride, decided to try and extend his time on Earth with an ‘Elixir of Life’.

…Made of sulfur and quicksilver.

Something similar happened to the first Qin emperor, and the first man to unify China, Qin Shi Huang, who took mercury pills in the hopes he would live forever.

He did not live forever.

Ping-Cho is much relieved at the old man’s death, though she is smart enough not to be too open about that fact. She does, however, decide to stay in the court of Kublai Khan. Who knows, perhaps she’ll meet someone nice. It’s a bit too convenient for my liking, but still a nice little nod to Chinese history.

Marco, however, is feeling defeated. His gift didn’t work and the Khan no longer trusts him. It looks like Tegana’s won.

Good for him, but what does he want? What is Tegana’s game? Logai, his master, could attack Peking, but Kublai’s superior numbers would surely crush him.

But what is an army without a leader? Kublai is an old man, after all. It wouldn’t be hard to kill him. Especially if you’re a strong young warlord who has been welcomed into the city with open arms.

Oh, dear.

Realising the danger, the companions rush to the Khan’s chambers, warning Marco along the way, just as a messenger arrives and informs them that as they feared, Logai’s army is marching on Peking!

In the throne room, the Khan narrowly escapes death when Tegana kills his vizier by mistake, and it buys him just enough time for Marco and company to arrive, and we at last get the duel we’ve been waiting for, a thrilling clash of steel, a dance of blades, between the warlord and the explorer.

Marco succeeds in disarming Tegana, but before he can be brought to justice, Tegana grabs a guard’s sword and falls upon it, and all his schemes, along with the man himself, come to naught and slump onto the throne room floor.

With Tegana defeated, Marco hands the Doctor the keys to his TARDIS. Everyone says a hasty farewell, and the companions pile in, with the ship vanishing into the ether a moment later as the court looks on in astonishment.

Marco apologises to the Khan for giving away the gift from under his nose, but the Khan shrugs and quips that the Doctor would only have won it back in a game of backgammon anyway. Still, it’ll be quite a tale to tell everyone back in Venice. That is, assuming anyone believes it.

Well, poor old Marco Polo had great trouble convincing any of his contemporaries that most of what he wrote was true. Even the bit about seeing unicorns. Look it up.

4.5 out of 5, largely for the swordfight.

CONCLUSION

So, that was Marco Polo. I quite enjoyed our journey across China, though the serial is not without its flaws. It drags in places, I began to find everyone’s obliviousness to Tegana’s obvious scheming quite irritating after a while (the perils of invoking dramatic irony), and as I noted last time there’s the disappointing casting choices, along with I think some issues of historical accuracy when it comes to design. Also, the ending is a bit abrupt.

However, this is the most impressive production the Doctor Who team have put on for us yet, bringing the grandeur of a Hollywood epic to the small screen. It’s not quite Cleopatra in terms of scale (or budget), but I definitely feel a similar sense of ambition in this story of great journeys, great rulers and great treachery.

All in all? Well worth the watch, and more of this sort of thing, please and thank you.

THE SCORE

Now, the maths says (factoring in the score I forgot to include for The Wall Of Lies) that this serial gets a 3.57, but I’m feeling generous, and because of the quality of the latter half I’ll be nice and bump it up to a 4.

4 out of 5 stars


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[March 15th, 1964] Maaaarco! (Doctor Who: Marco Polo, Parts 1 to 4)


By Jessica Holmes

Welcome back, everyone. Get comfy, because this is our first proper historical episode. This means that I’m about to go off on about a dozen different tangents before we’re done.

(I'd like to note that I was having some difficulty with my television set whilst watching this episode, so if I seem to have missed anything, that's why, and I apologise in advance.)

I must admit that I didn't know much about the historical Marco Polo going in, so I've gone along with my notes to the library and examined the facts in order to compare them to the episode, and see if there are any slip-ups. Other than obviously no time travellers in a phone box turning up halfway in.

THE ROOF OF THE WORLD

In which the companions find themselves in the Himalayas, but soon discover they are not alone. Are they about to fall victim to the terrible Yeti? No, it's the Mongols! And who should be with them but Marco Polo himself.

With the TARDIS in need of repairs, Marco invites the companions to travel with him to Shang-Tu, where he plans to meet with the great Kublai Khan himself. Also accompanying him are Ping-Cho, a young lady of around Susan's age who is on her way to be married (!), and Tegana, a Mongol warlord.

Ping-Cho, as far as I can tell, is not a real historical figure; however Marco Polo did once escort a wedding party from China to Persia, so this could perhaps have been the inspiration for her character. Tegana isn’t real, either, though Marco Polo probably would have travelled with Mongols of high status like Tegana many times, being something of a favourite of the court.

We get our first dose of educational entertainment when not long into the episode, Barbara, being the history teacher, explains to Susan who Marco Polo is.

For anybody unaware, Marco Polo was one of the earliest European travellers to document his travels across Asia. In his lifetime, and for a good long time afterwards, many doubted the veracity of his claims, but we now know that much of what he wrote was indeed accurate. He spent many years at the court of the leader of the Mongols, Kublai Khan, grandson of the legendary Genghis Khan. Did you know that Genghis Khan simply means 'great leader'? That's how highly the Mongols thought of him, that even today we don't refer to him by his true name (which, for those curious, was Temujin).

Basically, Kublai Khan had a hell of a legacy to live up to. Genghis Khan may have carved out the empire, but going by the records, Kublai made it truly great. Fabulously rich, high education rates, freedom of religion. If you ignore the truly biblical death rate, the Mongol Empire was rather amazing. Still, a lot of people died to make it happen.


And their yurts look very cosy, too.

Not a minute later, Ian steps in to fulfil his role as a science teacher, when he explains to Marco Polo why the water is boiling at a lower temperature than it should: because they are at high altitude and the air pressure is low. Indeed, the low air pressure is also causing the Doctor to suffer from altitude sickness. He doesn’t go into the mechanics of why, but that’s perhaps beyond the scope of the show.

While certainly educational, and fulfilling the stated goal of Doctor Who as a programme, these little bits of educational exposition do feel a bit jarring and clunky, as if the show suddenly remembers it’s supposed to be edifying.

Travelling with Marco soon proves to be a bad idea when he informs the time travellers of his true intentions. He's going to present their TARDIS as a gift to the Khan in hopes that the Khan will see fit to release him from his service.

Oh, and to make matters worse, Tegana is planning to poison everyone and take the TARDIS for himself.

At this point it would be remiss of me not to bring up the casting of this serial. I have to say…I'm disappointed.

I am disappointed that more people of Chinese or Mongolian heritage were not cast in speaking roles. I know that casting actors of one ethnicity and putting them in heavy makeup to look like another ethnicity is pretty much par for the course in the current film and television industries. It’s not even unusual for the BBC. Just tune in during Saturday evening primetime and you’ll see what I mean.

I had hoped that Doctor Who might make more of an effort to cast authentically, but alas, most of the Asian characters in this serial are portrayed by actors of no Asian heritage. After all, isn’t speculative fiction supposed to go against the status quo, not uphold it? It’s a real missed opportunity.

Three and a half out of five.

THE SINGING SANDS

In this honestly pretty dull episode, the caravan winds its way across the Gobi desert, the Doctor spends the entire time sulking, the girls get lost in a sandstorm while tailing Tegana, who for some reason changes his mind about his plan. Rather than poisoning the water gourds, like he said he was going to do, he just slashes them open and hopes everyone will die of thirst.

Why?

I don't really know.

Two and a half out of five.

FIVE HUNDRED EYES

The caravan makes it to Tun-Huang and the plot starts getting interesting again.


Ping-Cho tells us a story.

We get a little bit of linguistic history, which is a bit of history I am fond of because I'm that sort of a person. Never end up alone with me at a party. When I start talking, I don't stop. You've probably read enough of my articles by now to have gathered that.

Anyway, it's in the telling of the tale of the hashshashin, though quite heavily mythologised. The hashshashin were an Islamic sect present from the eleventh to thirteenth centuries in what is today Iran, roughly speaking. They were known for fighting their enemies in a most unconventional way: with espionage, assassinations and psychological warfare. Oh, and for smoking a drug called hashish, which is a resin derived from the cannabis plant. Everyone who can spot the potential etymological link please raise your hands.

So, Ping-Cho regales the group with the tale of a wicked lord named Aladdin who lived in the mountains and gave his men a powerful drug which made them feel rather marvellous, and all they had to do for him in return was go out and kill people for him.

This is not exactly how it went but it's a very interesting group with an intricate history. Also I can't find out who this Aladdin is, or who he's meant to be.

Following the not-entirely-accurate history lesson (you should probably pick up a book on the Assassins, more formally known as the Nizari Ismailis; they were an fascinating bunch), Barbara tails him to the eponymous cave of five hundred eyes, where she gets caught, and also the budget suddenly runs out, for this ‘cave’ looks an awful lot like it’s made of plywood.


Tegana, on the hunt for the budget.

The girls are quick to notice Barbara's absence however, and rush to tell the Doctor, who, having had a marked change for the better in terms of personality following his brief absence, immediately sets out with them to find her. Could it be that the Doctor is learning to care about…other PEOPLE?

I think I might faint.

Three and a half out of five. 

THE WALL OF LIES

Marco learns what the others have been up to, and rushes to the cave. He is the one to save Barbara's life, but he's cross at her for putting herself in that position, and at the others for sneaking off without telling him. What's more, he doesn't believe that the girls were following Tegana at all, for Tegana denies having ever been to the cave before.

Tegana is has long been poisoning Marco's mind against our companions, and it seems to be taking root when he orders that the girls be separated. I really enjoyed the relationship between the girls. It feels very natural, and it's lovely to see Susan having a friend her own age. These girls are from different times and cultures entirely, but they get along like two peas in a pod.

The caravan pushes ever onward, and in the city of Sin-Ju (A city which I can’t seem to find out anything about. The name doesn’t come up anywhere that I can find.), Ping-Cho tries to prove to Marco that Tegana lied about having been to the cave before the group rescued Barbara, when he asked earlier about a passageway. It's important to note that this passageway is in fact a secret passageway, which is of course about ten times cooler than any other passageway.

Marco scoffs at her evidence and gets rather cross with her, trusting Tegana over her, even though Tegana might as well walk around with I AM UP TO NO GOOD tattooed on his forehead.
Speaking of Tegana, he's now plotting, yet again, to kill all the travellers. This guy is so rubbish at plotting it's unbelievable. I could have killed all these people five times over by the time we got to this point.

Don't believe me? Let’s go through them right now.

  1. Back in the desert, I could have poisoned the water gourds. You know. Like Tegana said he was going to do and then didn’t.
  2. I could have slashed the gourds open and taken the last entirely for myself, and ridden off to the oasis, there to relax and sip water while the others die. After all, this plan almost worked, only they managed to drink a bit of condensation from the TARDIS. That wouldn’t have been enough if they didn’t have that last water gourd.
  3. Assuming I didn't poison the water, I could have poisoned any of the meals. Then again, everyone does eat the same thing. Also then again, I could just go without one meal. Better hungry than dead, right?
  4. Tegana has a sword. A very sharp sword. Wait until everyone is asleep, tiptoe about, kill them one by one. Nobody gets a chance to fight back. Simple.
  5. The capture of Barbara was the ideal opportunity to bait the others into an ambush.

In conclusion, Tegana is absolutely rubbish at murder plots, and nobody should have me as a travelling companion. Especially not if you’re prone to snoring.

What he is good at, however, is getting Marco to turn against the Doctor and his companions, who become prisoners rather than guests.

Not that that’s going to stop Ian cutting his way out of captivity. With plates!

I was mildly disappointed when it turned out he meant literally cutting his way out of the tent with shards of ceramic, as opposed to taking on the guards armed with a set of fine china. But shock, horror, as Ian goes to subdue the guard, it turns out that someone's beaten him to it!

I'm not saying it was Tegana…
But it was definitely Tegana.
And if he can't manage to kill them next time, I'll just be embarrassed on his behalf.

CONCLUSION

So, that was the first half (ish) of Marco Polo! We’ve travelled a long, long way over these last few episodes.

One thing I do have to commend about this serial is its ambition. It's clear this is where most of the cost-cutting on previous episodes went, with far more detailed sets and some wonderful costumes. I also enjoyed our foray into real history, with real people, and I am really looking forward to meeting Kublai Khan. The Mongol Empire was a real marvel, and I am excited to see more of it. 

[Come join us at Portal 55, Galactic Journey's real-time lounge! Talk about your favorite SFF, chat with the Traveler and co., relax, sit a spell…]




[February 19th, 1964] The Edge Of Disappointment (Doctor Who: The Edge Of Destruction)


By Jessica Holmes

Welcome back to your regularly scheduled ramblings on Doctor Who, folks. Let's get on with it, shall we?

Today I'm covering a shorter serial, a little two-parter set entirely aboard the TARDIS, where the ship has crashed with no apparent cause, and the crew must work out what happened to the ship and how to fix it before time runs out. With tensions running high, will the crew break apart before the ship does?

I'm making this sound much better than it turned out to be. You'll scream when you find out what the cause of all the problems is. Trust me.

THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION

In this episode, the TARDIS lands with a bump, knocking our entire crew out cold. As they come to, one by one, it becomes clear something is very wrong with our crew. Wandering about in a daze, they appear confused at their company, as if they've forgotten the last couple of adventures, their relationship to one another, and their personalities.

Shortly after they come to, they make a startling discovery: the TARDIS doors are opening and closing by themselves. Susan begins to fear that there's something aboard the TARDIS with them.

Upon approaching the console, Susan has the most dramatic faint ever put to film. Ian ever-so-gently gives her a fireman's lift and plonks her down on a bed that can't be at all comfortable if you like to sleep in any other position than on your back. I wouldn't get along very well aboard the TARDIS, even if it is wheelchair accessible.

Susan, it seems, still feels a wee bit poorly when she wakes up, given that when Ian comes near her she threatens to stab him with a pair of scissors.


Look, we’ve all had mornings like that, haven’t we?

Now, stabbing Ian would be a rubbish idea. We like Ian. He’s nice. Susan instead screams and cries and stabs the bed, I can only imagine as punishment for it being so dreadfully uncomfortable.

As a highly responsible adult, Ian confiscates the scissors, by which I mean he leaves them lying around for Susan to pick up again.

The Doctor, bastion of logic and reason, thinks it very illogical to consider the idea that someone or something is aboard the ship with them, even though he was unconscious for a good six minutes at the start of the episode (I checked), during which the TARDIS doors were open for an uncertain amount of time, and his companions were either unconscious or highly dazed.

I don't know what planet's logic he's following, because it certainly isn't ours. If I left my front door wide open for a few minutes, I’d almost certainly end up with somebody else’s cat.

Susan returns to her bed with the pilfered pair of scissors, and when Barbara tends to her, a struggle ensues for the potentially deadly implement. Susan is still suspicious that there is something aboard the TARDIS with them, perhaps even hiding within them.

The Doctor manages to get the scanner working, which comes as a surprise, as he and Susan have been unable to touch any part of the console without suffering terrible pain up to now.

When activated, the scanner displays a sequence of images:

First, an idyllic expanse of English countryside.

The doors begin to open, and an unearthly bellow roars outside. The doors close, and we get the next image, an alien world, one that Susan and the Doctor visited recently. I would rather see that adventure than this one.

Then we see a heavily cratered planet, followed by a solar system, followed by what appears to be a galactic belt, which vanishes in a flash of white.

Ian would like an explanation too, but when he asks, the Doctor throws the question right back at him, because while he reckons the idea of something having crept aboard the TARDIS is absurd, apparently the idea that Ian would sabotage the TARDIS of his own free will is not. Why would he sabotage the TARDIS? To blackmail the Doctor into taking him home, of course!

To blackmail. The Doctor. Into taking him home. In the TARDIS. The TARDIS he has supposedly sabotaged. That TARDIS.

I feel like I'm stating the painfully, horrendously, agonisingly obvious here, but this is an absolutely rubbish blackmail plot.

Barbara also points out that it would be wildly out of character for her or Ian to perform any sort of sabotage on the TARDIS of their own free will, and then it's her turn to clutch her head and scream dramatically, because something has happened to the clock.

I think it melted.


That, or the Doctor is a fan of Salvador Dali.

Susan has a bit of a meltdown, too, while Ian looks a bit confused and checks his watch, which, funnily enough, is exactly what I did at that moment.

Once everyone has turned in for the night, the Doctor goes around checking on everyone with his mischievous chuckle, only this time it's a lot more creepy than endearing, and as he bends over the console to do… I don't know, something, somebody grabs him.


Goodness gracious me, who could it possibly be.

And here ends the first part, with the mystery not any closer to being solved, no real action being taken, and everyone being downright useless.

THE BRINK OF DISASTER

A truer episode title has never been written.

So, it turns out it was Ian trying to seize the Doctor, but not to worry, he promptly keels over, so no harm done. Not to the Doctor, anyway. Ian, on the other hand, is in deep trouble.

The Doctor now reckons Ian and Barbara want to steal the TARDIS and fly back to Earth themselves, to which I say: Pardon?

Even if Ian and Barbara were planning to commandeer the TARDIS, how in the world could they? It's not contemporary Earth technology! They could no more pilot the TARDIS than I could nick an aeroplane from the nearest R.A.F. base and fly to France.

Still, it’s enough for the Doctor to make up his mind to throw Ian and Barbara off the TARDIS.

I am frustrated. I dearly and sincerely hope that this is coming through. Because I have already seen that this programme can be much, much better than this.

An alarm goes off, alerting the Doctor to a Thing. I'm calling it a Thing because I never did quite catch what they called it. Faulticator? Faulplicator? Hot Potater? And as it turns out, literally everything is wrong.

For fear of flogging a dead horse I will not be making the obvious joke.

The central column of the console flashes and begins to move by itself The Doctor calculates that they have around ten minutes to live based upon…something, and the crew work out that the machine has been trying to tell them, through the various strange happenings aboard the ship, what the problem is, because as it turns out this funny little big ship has started to think for itself, after a fashion.

The machine could really do with working on its communication skills.

Barbara figures the power at the heart of the machine has been trying to escape— but why? It's like a wounded animal lashing out at anyone who tries to access the controls…except for the scanner.

There's an entire bit of them unravelling the sequence of the scanner images, the long and short of it being that it's representative of their journey so far. Why is the TARDIS trying to take the Doctor for a trip down memory lane? What’s drawing the energy from the core of the TARDIS? What incredible catastrophe has brought this remarkable ship to the brink of destruction?

A stuck button.

The Doctor pressed the Fast Return switch to get back home at the end of the Dalek adventure, and it got stuck.


Are you pulling my leg?

There we have it, folks. Susan nearly stabbed Ian, the Doctor almost abandoned him and Barbara, everyone completely lost their heads and it was just because a little spring was broken and a button got stuck.

So, Ian and the Doctor prise it up, fix it, and Bob's your uncle, off we go.

Yes.

It's really that simple.

So, we're all friends again, having gotten over our inexplicably odd behaviour. The Doctor says he's proud of Susan even though she contributed absolutely nothing and, might I remind you, almost stabbed both of her teachers. Back in my day that was most certainly grounds for expulsion.

Then, having still not managed to arrive on Earth, everyone goes off to play in the snow because we've all forgotten what we're doing.

And behold! Someone with very big feet has been through here.


Looks like one of my eldest brother’s footprints.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Where to begin?

I did not particularly enjoy this story.

This wasn't terrible, though. Don’t get me wrong.

It was mediocre. That's all. Just mediocre.

And I think that might be worse.

Nothing happens. Threads of mystery are half-heartedly picked up, toyed with, and then cast aside in favour of the next idea to pop into whichever character’s head, as if the narrative was being played with by a bored cat. Everyone's having mood swings, and as soon as everyone gets back into character, it's over in a few minutes, because of course it would be!

Everyone in this story was acting very strange and as if they only had a vague grasp of their characters (and on reality itself), and there was no actual cause for it, in the end. Now, a red herring is a good tool in building a mystery, but the red herring does have to have its own explanation within the story. Otherwise, it’s just characters acting weird for the sake of acting weird, and that’s not good writing. I could, if I was feeling very generous, chalk it up to concussion, but it wasn’t consistent enough for concussion, and I’m not feeling generous, so I shan’t.

It's nowhere near as good as The Daleks which I think makes it seem worse by comparison. Thank the stars it was only two episodes and I only lost about fifty minutes or so of my life watching it, plus however long I ended up spending doing the write-up.

I am confident that you will miss nothing by skipping this one. I don't really think the companions come out of this any closer than they were at the end of The Daleks. They were pretty friendly at that point, took about ten steps backwards in their relationship, then in a flash they're all best chums again. It doesn't feel organic. There isn’t enough tension remaining within the group to make the infighting seem justified, and given how nasty it got at one point, how quickly they snap back into being friends makes the whole thing seem pointless. If someone threatened to stab me with a pair of scissors, or throw me out of their car based upon some imagined slight, it’d take me a little while to start trusting them again. I think I’d have preferred it if there really was an entity on board. That would have at least been exciting. Especially if it was controlling one of the crew.

I like to end on a positive note, so I will at least say this: the Doctor admitting how proud he is of Susan was really very sweet, and it was something I'd like to see more of. Hopefully we shall do next time, when with any luck we'll find ourselves an adventure worth the watching.

1.5 out of 5 stars.




[February 3rd, 1964] And Into The Fire (Doctor Who: The Daleks | Episodes 5-7)


By Jessica Holmes

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, in whatever time and place you happen to be. Ready for some more Doctor Who? I certainly am.

So, a super speedy recap before we get into things: the Doctor went and got himself and his companions stuck on an alien planet, and then everyone got captured and almost died of radiation poisoning. They escaped, barely, but then realised they couldn't leave because they'd left part of the TARDIS behind. So now they're going to have to go back to their captors. Well done, Doctor.

Oh, and there are some very cross pepperpots who dabble in plumbing.

THE EXPEDITION

In this episode, the companions must convince the Thals to help them reclaim a vital part of the TARDIS.

However, the Thals are so deeply opposed to violence that they won't take any aggressive action against the Daleks. What's more, the companions themselves can't agree on whether it's right to enlist the Thals in a conflict that has nothing to do with them, even if it could buy them their lives. After some shenanigans and a cruel but effective trick from Ian, Alydon manages to rally a few Thals to assist Ian and Barbara in their expedition to recover the part.

There are two big moral questions in this serial, and this episode is where they’re thrust into the spotlight: when, if ever, is it right to fight? And is it right to enlist someone else to fight your battles?

Entering the episode, the Thals have a firm answer to the first question: never.

"We will not fight. There will be no more wars. Look at our planet. This was once a great world, full of ideas and art and invention. In one day it was destroyed. And you will never find one good reason why we should ever begin destroying everything again."
Alydon

The Doctor, however, isn't having any of it. The Thals are going to fight and he's going to lead them into battle. Won’t that be something, indeed.

This leads us right into the second question: is it right to enlist someone else to fight your battles? Even if your troubles have nothing to do with them?

The Doctor, for the record, couldn't care less if it's right or wrong. It's a matter of survival. If making the Thals fight will make them more likely to survive, then morality doesn’t come into the equation. Now, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that the Doctor would take this stance, but what about Barbara? Yes, of all people, Barbara takes his side. She never really struck me as a moral pragmatist before, but then again, it would surprise most people just how flexible morality can be when your life's on the line.

However, Ian thinks otherwise. Though eager earlier to get the Thals to fight, Ian has come to believe it would be wrong to force them to go against their nature, when this isn't even their battle. If the Thals are going to fight, it has to be for their own reasons.

How do you make a Thal fight? Threaten his loved ones, of course. When Ian threatens to take one of the Thals to the Daleks in exchange for the fluid link (one who is very special to Alydon, if you catch my meaning), it takes Alydon all of three seconds to send him flying.


For a man who’s never fought anyone in his life, Alydon can throw a heck of a punch.

Now, consider this: while all this debate has been raging, the Daleks have synthesised the Thals' anti-radiation drug with unexpected results: the drug is toxic to them. Why? Because it stops them absorbing radiation. This leads the Daleks to realise they need a radioactive environment to survive. If they're ever going to leave the city, they'll have to flood the planet with radiation. The Thals don't know it yet, but they're living on borrowed time.

Alydon comes to an important realisation while wrestling with his guilt over punching Ian. There may well be a just cause for fighting: in defence of another. If they don't help the companions, knowing that only their help can save them, they might as well just kill them themselves. It’s an interesting notion, and one that I find myself agreeing with. After all, all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

What's more, Alydon has himself come to the conclusion that the Daleks represent an ongoing threat to the Thals. They have all the food, and before long, the Thals are going to starve. The Thals are afraid, but that's okay. They're right to be afraid. But as Alydon puts it:

"There is no indignity in being afraid to die. But there is a terrible shame in being afraid to live."

In the end, a few Thals agree to go with Ian and Barbara, and they set out to infiltrate the city. However, it doesn't take long before they run into trouble.

This might be one of my favourite episodes of the serial. I really enjoyed the moral quandaries the characters found themselves in.


We have to have a bog monster in a bog, even if it doesn’t do anything. It’s the rules.

THE ORDEAL

This episode isn't as good as the ones sandwiching it. I'll say that before anything else. There's not really any of the moral philosophy, major character development (other than one rather nice Thal whose name I can't remember), or excitement of the other episodes, so I'll keep it brief.

In this episode, all of our players are getting into place for the final act. Ian and Barbara are leading an expedition of Thals to infiltrate the city from behind, and the Doctor and Susan are with the main group, plotting their own assault on the city. Meanwhile, the Daleks accelerate their plans to make the planet more suitable to their needs.

There are some rather nice, borderline flirty moments of banter between Barbara and one of the Thals travelling with her. It's a sweet little human thing that goes a long way towards endearing him to me. I just wonder how he ever learned of the Earth concept of 'ladies first'. Is that something that regularly comes up in conversation?

I also enjoyed the Doctor and Susan acting like a pair of gleeful schoolchildren as they sabotaged the Daleks' surveillance equipment—especially when the Doctor got so carried away with his own cleverness he forgot the most important part of any bit of mischief: run away afterwards.


You have to wonder how he’s survived as long as he has, really.

Towards the end of the episode, though, there's a scene which is a bit frustrating to watch, as once again, we run up against the budget limitations. It's rather hard to even see what's going on, harder still to believe that our heroes are clinging to the walls of a perilous ravine. Even an establishing shot of a matte painting would have gone a long way towards building my suspension of disbelief.

THE RESCUE

Here we are, at the grand finale. There's a lot going on in this episode, so let’s take a deep breath, and away we go!

Ian and Barbara make it to the city of the Daleks, as Susan and the Doctor find themselves once again at the mercy of the plunger-brandishing fiends. The Daleks kindly explain their whole evil plan, because that’s what baddies do. I’m sure there’s a Handy Guide To Being Evil out there somewhere that every villain ever written has read. Explaining your entire plan is rule number two. The first rule is to never just kill the hero when you have him at your mercy. That wouldn’t be any fun, now, would it?

By deliberately overloading their nuclear reactors, The Daleks will be able to release enough radioactive material to irradiate the atmosphere and terraform the planet to their needs. Or should that be skaroform?

As Alydon rallies his men to assault the city, the Doctor pleads with the Daleks to see reason. When he finds no sense of morality in them to appeal to, he even tries bargaining, but to no avail. Time is running out for the Doctor, and for the planet, when Ian and Barbara's party meets up with Alydon's group, and together, they make their assault on the Dalek command.

I can only really describe what happens as a… kerfuffle. Though the Daleks are deadly at a distance, in close quarters, they're no match for the strength and mobility of their attackers, who push them about as if they were shopping trolleys. It’s a bit funnier than I think was intended.

The Thals prevail, freeing the Doctor to put a stop to the Daleks' plan. However, the salvation of the Thals is achieved at the fatal expense of the Daleks. The reactors are fast draining of power entirely. When they're fully powered down, the Daleks will be starved for radiation. One Dalek, dying, begs for the Doctor to undo what he's done. But he can't. And even if he could, he wouldn't. The Dalek dies, and with it, it seems, the Dalek race itself.


Susan even got a snazzy new cloak.

So much for just being a wanderer throughout the universe, Doctor. You just single-handedly eradicated a sapient species. Neither he, nor any of the other characters for that matter, seem to appreciate that fact, and the episode breezes on to the dénouement, where lessons are learned, goodbyes are said, and cliffhangers for the next serial are set up. Oh, and Barbara and her Thal friend share a very special farewell.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Right, so when it comes down to it, what did I think of The Daleks?

We’re just two serials in, and The Doctor is already affecting events on a planetary scale! If he carries on the way he does, there'll be a Doctor-shaped trail of destruction across the universe before long.

The serial did start to meander a little bit in the middle with having to go back to the city. Particularly The Ordeal, which does set up the finale, but not much else. It's a tricky thing because I can't just point at a scene and say 'cut that'. It would require a surgeon’s finesse.

As for the Thals, I admit I did categorise them in my head as 'Alydon' and 'Not Alydon', which should give you an idea as to how invested I was in the Thals who weren't Alydon. I have forgotten all of their names. They're more of an ensemble cast than distinct individuals, so I didn't really blink when any of them died.

I'm a bit unsure about killing off all the Daleks. It seems a shame to get rid of an interesting villain, one so inhuman, for whom morals aren't a consideration when it comes to survival. An interesting foil for the Doctor, wouldn't you agree? Also, though the Daleks we saw were unquestionably evil and sowed the seeds of their own destruction, was that the case for all of them?

Then again, we never see anything to suggest a concept of individualism amongst the Daleks, so it could be argued that they all harboured the same genocidal ambitions, making peaceful coexistence with the Thals an impossibility. Still, there's no way of knowing either way, which is why I'd have liked to have seen some consideration of their fate.

I wonder if, as the Thals have basically bred into themselves the instinct for pacifism, the Daleks bred themselves to be the opposite. It would fit with all of their actions. When faced with a fight or flight situation, the Thals would always choose flight, and the Daleks would fight. I wonder how the Daleks kept on as long as they did without wiping themselves out. They think nothing of experimenting on or even killing their own kind, if it would further the ends of their leaders.

We do get one line from the Thals that could be interpreted as regretful, though that was probably more for the Thal losses than for the eradication of all Daleks. For that matter, for a bunch of people who had a complete taboo against violence, they did seem to take to it quite well in the end. You'd think the Thals might actually mourn the Daleks. That would have been quite curious to see from our perspective, but I think it would have made sense for a people who up to recently had been so dedicated to living in peace and harmony. Hopefully they won't end up regaining their ancient taste for war.

Still, a very exciting and enjoyable serial all the same. I know it's less educational, but then again, it did explore some moral philosophy on when it's right to fight, if ever, and I love that sort of thing. I also think it came to a responsible conclusion: avoid fighting, except in the defence of yourself or others. I can get behind that. The only time I ever got in a scrap as a child was when a boy was picking on my little brother. I didn't do much for fear of really hurting the bully, but he did back off. I would like to see a bit more that's less cut and dried, perhaps with factions that can’t be simply described as ‘good’ or ‘evil’. Because the real world is messy like that, and I do think that in itself is an important thing to teach.

I’ll be back very shortly for our next outing. Our companions made it safely back to the TARDIS, but it seems the TARDIS might not be the safest place to be after all…

4 out of 5 stars




[January 14, 1964] Out Of The Frying Pan (Dr. Who: The Daleks | Episodes 1-4)


By Jessica Holmes

Hello, hello, hello, ladies and gents. We've got a lot of serial to cover today, and we'll still have some left over. Shall we get started?

We last left the Doctor and his companions as they set out to explore an alien world, unsuspecting of the danger they're in, as the radiation meter creeps towards the danger zone.

Here begins the first part of writer Terry Nation's serial. Here is…

THE DEAD PLANET

The first we see, after the requisite replay of the last moments of the previous serial, is a panning shot across the forest outside the T.A.R.D.I.S. There's quite an interesting visual effect applied to the image that gives it a surreal, eerie quality.


Or it could just be that my television set needs adjusting.

The ever-analytically-minded Doctor stoops to examine the dirt at their feet, and notices it to be ash. Yet they're surrounded by dense forest. Or are they? The woods are utterly still. Too still.

In fact, the trees have turned to stone. It's a petrified jungle.

The Doctor and Susan are fascinated by the discovery, and rightly so. Petrified wood is a rare thing to come across, given that organic tissue usually decomposes long before it can be fossilised. To my knowledge, fossilised wood tends to be found in volcanic areas, where trees were buried long ago in a deluge of volcanic ash, and completely deprived of oxygen. The process of minerals seeping in to replace the organic remains takes millions of years, but the end result is rather stunning.

The teachers don’t appreciate the geological wonder around them, and only wish to go home. After all, the Doctor did promise a return to their own time. It's impossible to say if he managed that, but the right point in space? I think we can assume he missed a bit.

Barbara reveals a little bit of spite when she wishes the Doctor would have something bad happen to him as some sort of cosmic punishment for repeatedly landing them in danger. I can't say I blame her.

Meanwhile Susan is off picking flowers, finding joy in the smallest of things. It's very sweet. The moment is short-lived, and the flower even shorter, when the group spots this hideous thing:


Looks almost as good as me in the mornings.

Who doesn't like a bug-eyed monster? And it's made of metal, no less! It's long, long dead, sadly, but the Doctor speculates that its metal outer skin was held together and manipulated by a magnetic field. It sounds unlikely to me, but it's such a wonderfully creative concept of life that I don't care.

Riding high, the Doctor and Susan continue to explore, while Ian and Barbara continue to whine about wanting to go home. Yes, fair enough, you're so far away from home you don't even know where you are, and yes you might be in a teensy bit of mortal peril, but come on, it's exciting, isn't it? Then again that's very easy for me to say, sitting on my comfortable couch and making notes while a guinea pig attempts to abscond with my notebook.

Here we find out why the teachers haven't made it back home. It's perfectly possible to return the T.A.R.D.I.S. to a previous location, but the Doctor has a tendency to forget the various functions of his ship. If there's such a thing as a T.A.R.D.I.S. licence, I think he ought to go and re-take the test.

As they continue exploring, they notice something peculiar. Other than the one flower Susan picked earlier, the planet is devoid of life. Whatever happened here, it doesn't seem that there were any survivors.

The companions reach the edge of the forest and find a glimmer of hope. In the distance, there's a massive city. The Doctor of course wishes to investigate further, but reluctantly agrees at the behest of his companions to start heading back.

As Susan stops to pick another of the incredibly rare flowers in the forest (really, there's a reason every nature guide I've ever read tells you not to do that precise thing!), something makes a grab at her, frightening her out of her wits. Everyone hurries back to the T.A.R.D.I.S., where the Doctor asks Barbara to talk to his granddaughter. He wants to comfort her, but is aware that there's a vast gulf of maturity between them, and doesn't know how to approach the problem. Bless.

Sadly, Susan has trouble convincing the men of the group, who have made up their minds that there can't be anything out there in the forest, that someone touched her shoulder. I think a lot of young viewers out there will relate to her genuine fear being dismissed as being silly or paranoid. I know I do.

Getting rather hungry, the companions try out the T.A.R.D.I.S.' 'kitchen'. Rather, a machine that makes what appear to be cereal bars which taste like full meals. I think I'd rather have a plate of real bacon and eggs, but the bars do look better than the little tubes of paste our real space-travellers have to put up with.

The Doctor finally agrees to take the T.A.R.D.I.S. home, but as the familiar wheezing of the engines starts up, he bends down, and sneakily removes something from the central console. He straightens up again, and the T.A.R.D.I.S. grinds to a halt. Oh, Doctor, you cheeky man. Of course, the fluid link is 'missing', so of course the only thing for it is to go to the city. Just as he wanted to.

As the companions make ready to leave, the Doctor gives his mischievous little chuckle, and I can't even be cross at him for being so conniving. He may be a lousy guide, selfish, and have a superiority complex bigger than Big Ben (by which I of course mean the bell), but he's so fun to watch.

Outside the T.A.R.D.I.S., the companions find a box on the floor. Ian investigates it with the foolproof method of covering his face while he pokes it with a stick. When it doesn't blow up, he picks it up to discover a number of vials of unidentified liquid. Suspicious of the package, the companions leave it behind and head to the city, where the Doctor takes ill shortly after arriving.

The group splits up to explore, and we follow Barbara through tightly winding corridors, and past a few walls which are rather unconvincingly painted to look like corridors.


Whatever happened to the perspective, here? Did M.C. Escher design this building?

The soundtrack turns eerie as Barbara moves through identical doorway after identical doorway, soon becoming completely lost. The scene is very tense and claustrophobic, and we know something's coming. Something that most likely doesn't appreciate her intrusion.

Something that apparently has a toilet plunger stuck to it.


Attack of the plumbers!

I'm teasing a little, as the scare chord and non-revelation of what's stalking Barbara is an effective scare, but as a threatening appendage, a toilet plunger is perhaps not the scariest choice. Still, from Barbara's horrified screams, we can guess one thing: whatever's advancing on her, it's not human.

I thoroughly enjoyed this one, and was on tenterhooks all week waiting to see how the story would continue. Some very ambitious world design was on display here, and though at some moments the lack of budget did get in the way, for the most part the production team succeeded in creating a very eerie, otherworldly atmosphere.

Now we move on to…

THE SURVIVORS

The rest of the group don't take long to notice Barbara is missing, and they immediately set out to look for her. As they search, they hear a quiet ticking noise. I thought it sounded like a Geiger counter, and was rather pleased with myself when I turned out to be correct. It was indeed a Geiger counter, which the group discovers in a room filled with all sorts of advanced scientific equipment. Whoever built this city, they were highly technologically capable.

However, all that technology couldn't save them. The group realises that the entire planet is soaked in radiation, likely the fallout from some sort of atomic weapon…and they've just been walking around, unprotected. Now we know why they don't feel well. Acute radiation sickness is setting in.

Uh-oh.

Realising how much danger he's put everyone in, the Doctor has the decency to admit to his deception. Ian, furious, takes the fluid link from the Doctor and refuses to hand it back until they've rescued Barbara. Either they all go back to the T.A.R.D.I.S. together, or none of them do.

I really like Ian. He might look like an ordinary teacher, but he's got the spirit of a hero.

Before they can make any progress, however, the things with the plungers arrive.

And they're rather more menacing than a bit of bathroom equipment.

These, as we'll learn before long, are the Daleks. Every word from their… I would say mouths, but they don't seem to have any. None that I can see, anyway. Every word from whatever it is that they use to talk is a clipped, distorted scream. No emotion, just constant yelling. These are possibly the strangest thing I've seen yet. At least the bug-eyed monster was recognisable as an animal. These Daleks, however, are a bit of a mystery, for now at least. Are they robots? Miniature tanks? A bio-mechanical creature? We'll have to be patient if we want to find out.

Whatever they are, the Daleks aren't friendly. As Ian attempts to make a break for it, I give a horrified gasp as the Daleks gun him down. Mercifully, he isn't killed, but the dastardly Daleks have completely paralysed his legs.

With Ian incapacitated, the Daleks herd the group into a cell, where the companions are at last all together again, but trapped.

Want to hear the really good news?

The radiation poisoning is getting worse. If they don't get treatment soon, they're all going to die, and it's not going to be a pleasant end. For now, the group are experiencing a feeling of wooziness, the Doctor the most severely affected. The Daleks haul him off to be interrogated anyway.

The Daleks think that the companions are part of a group of people called the 'Thals', who can apparently resist the radiation through their drugs. This accusation leads the Doctor to realise that the phials left outside the T.A.R.D.I.S. in the night may be the anti-radiation drug in question. He makes a deal for one of the group to go fetch it while the others stay behind as collateral.

Time for a little explanation, at long last. I've been dying to know what's going on here.

The Daleks explain to the Doctor that 500 years ago there were two people on this world: themselves, and another race called the Thals. They went to war, an atomic war, that devastated the planet. As the ashes settled, the Dalek forefathers retreated into the city, protected by their machines, and the Thals were almost driven to extinction, left to wander the wilderness. The Daleks think it likely that centuries of exposure to radiation has left the Thals disgustingly mutated.

Still, even if they are mutants, we can gather one thing: they probably left the drugs for them. A gift, perhaps? Maybe there are some friendly people on this planet.

I’m going to nitpick for a moment now. If, as the Daleks say, the war was 500 years ago, and assuming that the petrified forest was buried as a result of this war, not nearly enough time has passed for the trees to become fossilised.

Ian, beginning to recover the use of his legs, immediately volunteers for the mission. Susan decides to go with him, as the Doctor is now too sick to do anything at all, leaving her as the only person who can unlock the T.A.R.D.I.S.. However, when it comes time to go, Ian's strength fails him, leaving Susan with no choice but to venture out alone. She's absolutely terrified, but she goes anyway; that's what I call bravery.

However, it seems Susan's bravery may all be for naught. The Daleks are spying on our heroes in secret. They have no intention whatsoever of allowing the companions to use the life-saving drug. They just want Susan to bring it back so that they can analyse and replicate it for their own use.

Tensions rise in the cell as Ian vents his frustration at the Doctor, and tension climbs in the forest as Susan runs through the densely clustered trees. She's petrified, but keeps on running, and the guinea pig and I are cheering her on.

It would be a more effective scene if not for the fact that I'm almost certain Susan traverses the exact same patch of forest at least three times.

Susan finally arrives at the T.A.R.D.I.S. as the adults begin to suffer from the next stage of radiation poisoning: a high fever. If Susan tarries, it'll be too late, and the Daleks certainly won't lift a finger, or rather, plunger, to help.

A very exciting episode. Terry Nation is doing a good job so far. Let's hope he keeps it up!

THE ESCAPE

For Susan, braving the forest to reach the safety of the T.A.R.D.I.S. was one thing. Leaving the ship and going right back into the lion's den? That's even harder, but she plucks up the courage and steps outside, where she finds a stranger awaiting her. This is Alydon, the man who left the drugs for the group, and he is one of the Thal race.


A hideous mutant, indeed.

Alydon is surprised to learn that the Daleks still live in the city, and is suspicious of their motives in allowing Susan to retrieve the drugs. To be safe, he gives her a second box, and sends her on her way with his cloak to keep warm.

It's growing increasingly likely that there are people inside the pepper-pot shells. Now we have a big question. If the Daleks think of the Thals as horrific mutations, what must they be like, inside their metal shells?

Susan safely makes it back to the city, where the Daleks confiscate one box of the drugs, but thankfully allow her to keep the other box. Within a few minutes of administering the treatment, the Doctor regains consciousness, and the group start to feel well enough to attempt to get back to the T.A.R.D.I.S.. However, Susan isn't ready to leave. The Thals helped them; they should help the Thals in return.

It turns out that after the atomic war, the Thals were able to cultivate small plots of land, but to do so they rely on a rainfall that only comes every few years. Said rainfall is two years overdue, the crops have failed, and the people are starving. They've had no choice but to leave their land in search of food, but now they're encroaching onto the Daleks' territory. If they're going to survive, they need to arrange some sort of treaty with the Daleks, and Susan wants to help.

In a twist which will come as a surprise to absolutely nobody, the Daleks are listening in on the conversation and hatch a plot to double cross the Thals. They offer the prisoners food and sustenance, leading to the slightly amusing image of a Dalek carrying a tea-tray.

How do Daleks even prepare food? They don't have hands. They seem to use the toilet plunger to interact with their environment, but I don't see how a rubber cup can provide the manual dexterity to make as much as a coronation chicken sandwich. With the companions fed and rested, the Daleks say that they will help the Thals, in truth planning to use Susan to lure the Thals to the city, where they'll be at the mercy of the Daleks. What will happen then isn't certain, but knowing the Daleks, it probably won't be good.

"SHE WILL BE RETURNED. WE ARE GOING TO HELP THE THALS WHICH IS WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO."
Not at all suspicious. Nope. Not one bit.

We now cut to a group of the Thals as they wait by the T.A.R.D.I.S., and learn a little more about them, and about the Daleks. The Thals apparently were once a warrior race, and the Daleks teachers and philosophers. Now the Thals have turned to a simple life of farming, shunning violence in favour of diplomacy, whereas the Daleks have directed their intelligence away from academic pursuits and towards war, violence, and survival.


I just wish I were better at telling them apart.

The Thals are excited to make friends with the Daleks. Bless.

Oh, and they're bizarrely sexist. One of the group berates Alydon for giving the drugs to a girl, instead of a man. I don't see how it makes the slightest bit of difference, but there you go. The only possible reason for her resenting his interaction with Susan is simple jealousy. Jealousy. Of a fifteen year old girl. Okay, then.

Meanwhile, this incredibly threatening fifteen year-old is helping the Daleks to draft a treaty based on mutual aid, which seems all well and good but I wouldn't trust the Daleks as far as I could throw them.


Peace in our time?

While Susan is with the Daleks, she learns that they've been listening in on the group's conversations, and so on her return to the cell, Ian and the Doctor stage a mock fight. In the 'tussle', the device the Daleks were using to spy on them is broken, buying them a few minutes of privacy. However, the Daleks immediately realise what they've done, so they don't have long.

The gang gets to brainstorming. They need to get out before they outlive their usefulness. They hatch a plan based on their observations of the Daleks, and when a Dalek comes to give them food, Barbara blinds it with a bit of mud scraped from her shoes, and the Doctor and Ian manage to wrangle it onto Alydon's cloak, which insulates it from the floor, disabling the creature.

Time to see what's inside!


Or not.

But the look the Doctor and Ian exchange as they look inside says everything. They scoop out the creature with the cloak. It's small, whatever it is. Sometimes what you don't see is more interesting than what you do see.

With the organic component of the Dalek removed, Ian climbs into the shell. Can the Daleks even survive out of their shells? Have Ian and the Doctor effectively murdered this creature? That's a bit of a grim thought. Horrid as the Daleks are, they’re still people. At least I think they are.

Still, I did laugh when Ian spoke from within the shell with the voice of a Dalek. The guinea pig was less amused. She doesn't like strange noises.

The companions depart, but hold on, what's this? Beneath the crumpled cloak, something stirs.

A clawed hand reaches out to the light.

And that's all we see.

THE AMBUSH

Now the companions make their escape, with Ian disguised as a Dalek, which comes in handy when they encounter another Dalek, whose help they enlist when Susan puts her talent for screaming to good use. The Dalek helps them along, and soon realises its mistake when they seal the door behind them.

The Dalek summons reinforcements, who begin cutting their way through the door.

Unfortunately, on the other side of the door, the companions are having trouble getting Ian out of his shell. To make matters even worse, the Daleks have magnetised the floor, so Ian can't even carry on pretending to be a Dalek. He tells the rest of the group to go on without him.

We cut back and forth between the escaping group, Ian trapped in the Dalek, and the Daleks cutting through the door. The rest of the group manage to take the lift to the top level of the building, but it doesn't look like Ian's making any progress. It seems for a moment that Ian has come to a sudden and violent end when the Daleks make it through the door and obliterate Ian's Dalek shell, but moments later, it's revealed that the shell is empty! Ian Chesterton: teacher, action hero, modern day Houdini.

The group reunite and are free to make a break for it. However, the Thals have arrived, and little do they know, they're walking into a trap.

The Daleks finally drop all pretence of decency and issue the order to 'exterminate' any companions they come across. I think we can guess what they're planning to do to the Thals.

While the Doctor gets the door to freedom unlocked, the rest of the group hurl a statue made of 'stone' down the lift shaft, where it wrecks the ascending lift, buying time for the companions. I have to put 'stone' in quotes because it is very, very obvious that it's polystyrene and probably weighs less than my teacup.

Here come the Thals, who bring with them an interesting debate. Our friend Alydon is deeply suspicious of the Daleks and their motives. After all, they did once go to nuclear war. The leader of the Thals, however, is willing to trust them, and eager to offer an olive branch. We of course know that Alydon is right to be suspicious, but let's look at it from the perspective of the Thals for a moment. The war was 500 years ago. It would be rather like me holding a grudge against the French for the Hundred Years' War.

The leader does raise a good point about the possible motivations of the Daleks, however. Perhaps the Daleks, hidden away in their metal shells in their metal city, have become so detached from the outside world that anything that isn't like them is frightening to them. They're like children lashing out in fright. The fact is, that fear has long since crystallised into pure hatred. The Thals have a choice: to pay heed to their misgivings about the Daleks, or to reject fear and take a chance of breaking the cycle. Now, if I knew nothing about the Daleks, I'd be inclined to agree with the leader, but I do know better, so of course I can't. It does rather undermine the point.

Susan wants to warn the Thals of the Daleks' treachery, but the Doctor wants to escape. Barbara takes Susan's side, but Ian agrees with the Doctor for once, deciding that there's little sense in jeopardising their own safety, and tells the others to make a break for it while he warns the Thals. Best of both worlds.

I wish my school teachers had been this cool.

Unfortunately for the Thal leader, Ian is too late to save him from 'extermination', but the rest manage to make their escape, and as they do, Ian meets up with Alydon, who is wounded.

Back at the T.A.R.D.I.S., the companions have made it back in one piece, and the Doctor is taking the opportunity to learn all that he can from the Thals. Through examining their records, he's able to glean more information about this dead planet: Skaro.

The people of Skaro were excellent astronomers who had not only mapped their own system, but planets of other star systems. Exoplanets are indeed theorised to exist beyond the realms of science fiction. These maps of the stars are a testament to the advancement of pre-war society on Skaro.

Ian urges the Thals to stand up to the Daleks, because although pacifism is a noble cause, some things are worth fighting against. All the same, the Thals refuse. It's not that they're afraid of the Daleks. It's deeper than that. They don't just hold pacifism up as an ideal; it's a compulsion.

We also learn that the Daleks used to be called Dals, and it seems that they once were much like the Thals. They weren't entirely wrong however, when they said that the Thals were mutants. The Thals did indeed mutate after the war, then adapted and stabilised to what they are now.

It seems there's nothing to do now but leave, and hope that the Thals can sort things out for themselves.

Of course we're only four episodes into a seven episode serial.

Did you really think it was going to be that easy?

Remember the fluid link?

It's still with the Daleks in the city.

Wrapping Up

This serial has been a lot more plot-dense than The Firemakers, which I imagine you can tell from the sheer length of this article. I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying it so far, and must congratulate the writer of this serial, Terry Nation, on the exciting plot and interesting world and history he's created for this story. The production staff also deserve a round of applause for delivering a truly alien and eerie atmosphere despite what must have been a limited budget. I poked fun at a few points where the limitations showed, but they really did do a good job.

I'll be back soon to finish off the serial, so until next time, I bid you adieu.




[December 15, 1963] Our First Outing Into Time And Space (Dr. Who: THE FIREMAKERS)


By Jessica Holmes

Welcome back, class. I'm not sure why I'm calling you class. I'm not a teacher, but if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s waffling on at people who may or may not be listening to me. So, are we ready for some more Doctor Who? Our first serial just wrapped up, so it's time for a bit of a recap, and my thoughts.

We last saw the T.A.R.D.I.S having turned up in a desolate wasteland, observed by an unknown shadow. Where are we? Who was the shadow? Am I going to keep asking rhetorical questions?

Let's find out.

THE CAVE OF SKULLS

So, after the first installment I was rather looking forward to this one. I curled up with a nice cup of tea and a guinea pig – the best viewing partner.

The episode picks up where it left off in An Unearthly Child, with the shot of a shadow looming over the T.A.R.D.I.S. We cut away, and get to see who's casting the shadow: a rather grubby looking chap in desperate need of a good haircut. This is Kal, a Palaeolithic man, and contender for the leader of his tribe. Winter is fast approaching, their old firemaker is dead, and his son, Za, has no more idea of how to make a fire than any of the others. Control of the tribe will go to whomever becomes the new firemaker.


Kal and his mate, Hur, attempt to make fire. Close, but no cigar.

Within the T.A.R.D.I.S., Ian and Barbara are waking up, and much to the Doctor's (and my own) frustration, Ian is still under the impression that this is some sort of trick. The Doctor surmises that they all have travelled back in time. Of course Ian doesn't believe him, because apparently Ian's head is full of sawdust.


"If you could touch the alien sand and hear the cries of strange birds and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?"
The Doctor


I couldn't have put it better myself. (In fairness to Ian, if I met an old man with a police box that was bigger on the inside and could travel back in time, and found myself in a junkyard one minute and a wasteland the next, I'd think I was either being tricked or going a bit loony.)

The doors of the T.A.R.D.I.S. open up, and off we go!

The Doctor and Susan notice to their dismay that their T.A.R.D.I.S. still looks like a police box. The ship is meant to disguise itself upon arriving in a new locale, but it hasn't happened this time. It'll be interesting to see what happens when the Doctor gets around to fixing it.

Unbeknownst to the group, our hairy friend Kal has been watching them closely, and is making his approach.

The Doctor, meanwhile, decides that now is a good time to smoke his pipe. However, as he strikes his match, Kal pounces on him. My own doctor does always say that smoking is bad for one's health.


Remember, kids. If you use tobacco, we can’t guarantee a caveman won’t suddenly pounce on you.

The rest of the group don’t take long to notice his absence. Susan completely loses her head; to say she doesn’t appear to cope well with stress would be putting it mildly. I do hope she toughens up a bit.

Kal arrives at his tribe’s cave with the Doctor slung over his shoulder, a mighty prize for the Doctor can make fire from his fingertips. The tribe gets straight to bickering over who gets to learn fire. It’s a lot like a Commons debate. The Doctor would happily give them fire, if only to shut them up, were it not for the fact that he’s all out of matchsticks.

It seems like all is lost for the Doctor when the rest of the group come charging in…and are captured immediately.

So much for a daring rescue.

The episode ends with our band of travellers being sealed into the eponymous Cave Of Skulls.


An interesting touch. I can’t be certain, but that looks like a genuine human skull to me.

This one was a bit slow at the start, and though I'm not averse to a bit of political drama, I can't really see that a child would much care for it.

THE FOREST OF FEAR

A week later for us (and no time at all for our characters), we follow on with the group trapped, the tribe planning to force the Doctor to make fire at sunrise, and all hope, seemingly, lost.

In the cave, the tribe sleep. One, however, does not: an elderly woman whose name I don't think we ever learn, which is surprising considering she might be one of the most important characters of the serial. She’s an old-fashioned cavewoman. Who needs this new-fangled fire? Everyone got along before fire, didn’t they?

The old woman steals a knife and slips away from the tribe. Last week, she wanted to kill the travellers. Looks like she's about to follow through, but someone has spotted her: Za's mate, Hur. I admit I only know that’s her name from the credits, as I don’t recall anyone ever referring to her by name within the episode proper.


It’s sharper than it looks.

Back in the creatively named CAVE OF SKULLS, the travellers are working on an escape. They're not getting far with their hands bound, but are at least starting to work together.


"Fear makes companions of all of us."
The Doctor


Companions. I like that.

Susan is the first to notice the old woman entering the cave, with a scream so shrill my poor guinea pig almost leapt off the couch and ran all the way home to his sisters. I think my ears are still ringing.

Hur wakes Za, and her suspicions are the same as mine. She reasons that if they stop the old woman from killing the companions, the Doctor will reward Za with fire. However, in a subversion of expectations, it turns out we were wrong. With the old woman’s help, our heroes escape, but the old woman isn't so lucky.

Za pursues them into the forest. Barbara loses her head as the group realises they are lost, and the Doctor and Ian begin to bicker, in a way that oddly mirrors the 'cave-men', over which of them is the leader. Looks like some things never change.


The dreaded boar.

At the sight of a dead boar, Barbara helpfully screams the whole forest down, alerting Za to their whereabouts. Well done, Barbara. Again, I do hope that the women of the group completely losing their senses at the first time of trouble doesn’t become a recurring trend.

Bad news: Za isn't the deadliest thing in the forest. Luckily for Barbara, the never-seen beast finds Za before it finds her. Za’s caterwauling echoes across the forest, and though he's been pursuing them, Barbara insists on going back to help. The Doctor, much disgruntled, brings up the rear of the group, preferring to leave Za to his fate and make their escape. Still, he won't abandon Susan, so the companions double back and find Za, horrifically wounded.

Back in the cave of skulls, a phrase I find myself compelled to say in a dramatic voice, I'm relieved to find the old woman is still alive. She seems like the only cave-person with her head screwed on properly. My relief turns to dread when Kal finds and interrogates her. He's not pleased she helped them. Not pleased one bit.

In the forest, our companions tend to Za, and Hur has some difficulty with the concept of kindness, something I find confusing. Paleolithic people were not mindless ‘savages’. Any human society, no matter how different from what you’d consider to be ‘civilisation’, must be based on cooperation and mutual aid if it is to function. In less clinical terms, kindness makes the world go round, and wherever and whenever you are, people are people.


The companions administer first aid to Za.

The Doctor, however, doesn't seem to be feeling kind. In fact, Ian has to stop him murdering poor Za with a rock. I like a grumpy hero, but not one who murders people. It has to be said that the Doctor doesn't seem like a terribly nice man, let alone a good one. I hope he softens up over time.

The companions move off, taking Za with them on an improvised stretcher, but back with the tribe, trouble stirs. The old woman is dead, and Kal is quick to accuse Za of the crime.

And it's in this frame of mind that the tribe surround our companions as they approach the T.A.R.D.I.S. It doesn't seem like everyone's going to make it out of this adventure in one piece.


So close, but so far away.

I enjoyed this episode more than last week’s, in spite of the quibbles I had. It was simply more exciting, with some good plot twists.

THE FIREMAKER

Here we come to the conclusion!

Our companions have been caught and brought back to the tribe, where Kal formally accuses Za of killing the old woman with his knife. But Kal didn't count on one thing—the Doctor.

The Doctor notices that there is no blood on Za's knife. Kal insists it's a bad knife, and almost like toying with a small child, the Doctor manipulates him into taking out his own knife to prove his is better. I can’t say whether this says more about the Doctor’s intelligence or Kal’s general lack of it. Sure enough, Kal’s knife is covered in blood.


The Doctor is on the case.

The tribe, egged on by the Doctor, casts Kal out into the wilderness, and Za seals the companions back into the cave of skulls. How's that for gratitude?

Hur, however, seems to have a brain cell or two to rub together, and fills him in on what the companions did for him after the beast attacked. Za becomes less hostile, but he still needs fire if he wants to lead. I think the old woman might have been right: the more I see of this tribe, the less I think they can be trusted with fire.

Za goes to the cave to speak with the companions, who are currently working on getting a fire going. The tribe believe that if they sacrifice the companions to the sun ('Orb'), it will give them fire. No need for that—Ian just managed to kindle a small flame.


Kal on the verge of learning a painful lesson: Fire hot.

However, Kal isn’t about to give up without a fight. He arrives at the cave, and attacks Za for control of the fire. In the ensuing fight, it's quite hard to tell what's going on, with the similar costumes and makeup for our two cavemen, but the scene itself looks good, with the flickering firelight dancing off the vicious fighters.


Za gains the upper hand.

In the end, Za is victorious, and emerges from the cave with a torch, having won the battle for leadership. However, though he has what he wanted, he decides to keep hold of the companions, and with them, a steady fire supply, so they take matters into their own hands.

Time for a cunning plan. It’s so cunning it will take your breath away:

Get a torch. Get a skull. Put the skull on the torch. Hide.

That’s it, that’s the full extent of the plan. Our companions make a break for it when the cave-people are too busy being scared out of what little wits they had.

Za, quick on the uptake as always, realises that the skulls on sticks are not any sort of demonic entity, and the tribe gives chase in a scene that, I'll be honest, is clearly limited by the confines of the studio. Lots of close-ups on panicked faces without any reference as to how close behind the tribe are. It doesn't do much for the tension.

The companions at long last make it back to the T.A.R.D.I.S. and take off. But where to? Who can say? Suffice it to say, it doesn’t look like Ian and Barbara are making it back to modern England any time soon. In fact, they land in a strange-looking forest, bone-white trees all around, and leave the T.A.R.D.I.S. after Susan checks the radiation meter and sees that it reads unthreatening levels.

However, it looks like they're in for a nasty surprise. Unseen by any of them, the needle is creeping up…

Final Thoughts

All in all, this trip in the T.A.R.D.I.S. was quite enjoyable, but didn't quite live up to the promise of its first instalment. Our characters are beginning to emerge, and though I like Ian and Barbara, I admit I find Susan a bit annoying, and the Doctor, though still my favourite by virtue of being the most interesting, could do with a lesson or two in humanity.

A positive aspect I'd like to note is the lack of an obvious 'goodie' outside of the main group. The politics of the cave are an ugly mess, and our companions are just unlucky enough to be stuck in the middle of it. I think there might be a metaphor in that, somewhere. It occurs to me now that though Za has fire, he still doesn’t know how to make more. What's going to happen to the tribe when the fire burns out? Is this group of early humans doomed?

So, though some bits were slower than others, I think we can safely say there's enough promise to stick with the series. I want to see more adventures from this crew of varying intrepidness, and I look forward to the next serial.

What's coming next, do we think? Another planet? The alien sand the Doctor promised? Or perhaps it could be our own far into the future. Or not so far, if you're feeling pessimistic.

I'll leave you all to mull it over.

Until next time, then!

3.5 out of 5 stars




[December 5, 1963] A Composer After My Own Heart (A theme song for Dr. Who)


by Victoria Lucas

Tracking down the Dr. Who theme

After reading Mark Yon's column mentioning the British telly program "Doctor Who," I distracted myself from (shudder!) the assassination by trying to find out anything I could about that program, particularly the unique theme music (new music is my bag, you see).

My usual sources are the libraries at the University of Arizona (UA) and in downtown Tucson.  When those turn up empty, I start in on my private network–folks I know.  Someone mentioned that the music was supplied by the BBC's Radiophonic Workshop, who do all BBC sound effects and theme music.  But how to find out more?  And if it’s the music I’m interested in, how can I hear it?  There appear to be no plans to broadcast "Doctor Who" in the US.

OK, now I’m right up against the wall and climbing as fast as I can, because I’m stubborn.  (If you knew my family you’d know I come by it honestly.) And besides, I promised to write this column.  Oh!  My tape network.  I’ve mentioned before, in connection with hearing a radio program I missed, that I’m part of a sort of round robin that sends reel-to-reel tape around for hearing, copying, etc.  (I do sound and other services for local little theater–it comes in handy if there’s some effect I can’t produce or some music I need.) So I phoned my contact, who phoned his contact–etc. 

A gift from London

To my utter surprise and relief, it turned out that there was a package waiting to be sent from England, and I am the ideal person to receive it and send it on.  You know how composers are–well, maybe you don’t. 

Music composition is not a lucrative profession, for the most part.  It’s sort of like the few sports stars who occupy everyone’s attention, and everyone else who isn’t on one’s hometown team is ignored.  This is the age of the 20th-Century Canon, in the sense that "classical" musicians put their faith in a slightly varying list (like a set of sacred books) of composers and music that symphonies play and national radio and television favor.  When you go to a concert, leaving "pop" or jazz alternatives aside, you know you’re usually going to hear at least one of the four B’s (Bach, Brahms, Berlioz, Beethoven).  And a few others, most 19th or early 20th century European "classical" music..  I’m tempted to add a fifth "B" for Borge, but he makes a living playing (not composing) "classical" music, with a few jokes on the side.


Victor Borge in concert 1957

If you don’t compose or play music that sounds like the items on that list, you will have to find some other way to make a living, or live very frugally, squeezing out a few dollars here or there from donations, commissions, or occasional gigs that pay actual money.  Just ask my friend Barney Childs at UA, who holds a PhD in music composition from Stanford.  He teaches English as an assistant professor and composes in his spare time.  His music is often highly dissonant and doesn’t appeal to your average concertgoer, who expects dominant, consonant melodies presented in classical formats by musicians who, in turn, usually expect the same and may be so offended if their sheet music does not conform to what they learned in the conservatory that they will walk out or otherwise disrupt a concert.  Finding performers who will play unusual music can be quite difficult, making electronic music, despite its complicated techniques, attractive, since often the only performer is the composer.


Barney Childs and his ever present pipe

And in this case the composer who is to receive the package is more or less homeless, sleeping on other people’s couches or floors and traveling when and where he is paid to perform.  So I actually feel pretty good about inserting myself into this delivery process, quite aside from being able to listen to the very latest in (as it turns out) electronic music.  I’m responsible for finding out where he is from the local contacts I was given (too much long-distance calling for folks in England) and sending it on.  Best of all, the tape I just received and played has a sheet of (legible!) comments on the music and even some words about and a photograph of the performer, with her equipment. 

Meet the maker


Delia Darbyshire on tape machines

According to the comments, it seems that someone by the name of Ron Grainer composed music for the "Doctor Who" theme.  Another somebody–by the name of Delia Derbyshire (what a veddy British name that is!)–realized it as electronic music in the Workshop!

The anonymous writer also says that Derbyshire wasn't allowed to compose music on her job for the Workshop, but she was allowed to do "special sound by BBC Radiophonic Workshop," which apparently is anything she wants to do.  What a job!  But it sounds as it if was lot of trouble and some luck to get there, and some knocking around, because Derbyshire had a hard time finding anywhere she could use her degree in mathematics and music.  For instance, she was told that Decca Records wouldn't employ women, and … well, whoever heard of a woman composer?


Clara Schumann

I wanted to compose too after I learned to transpose while studying piano, but I didn't know anybody who had heard of a woman composer, and that includes my mother and aunt, harpists who had performed in the concert circuit.  My father was not supportive, although my mother always indulged me.  Without specific encouragement to realize my dream, however, I saw my future stretching before me, always playing other peoples' music that for the most part bored me, and I didn't like that future.  So I stopped studying music and started looking for some other way to make a living.  (Mind you, I was 12, as you might see in my previous column.)


Composer Luciano Berio

Derbyshire, on the other hand, had an opportunity to work with Luciano Berio last year when they attended the famous Dartington Summer School in Devon, England, so she was able to hobnob with at least one VIP of new music decidedly not in the Canon.  I wonder if this was the fulfillment of a dream for her.  It would be for me.

Behind every great man…


Ron Grainer

There is a brief note in the comments that made me laugh aloud: Derbyshire is so clever that when Grainer heard her music for "Doctor Who" and delightedly asked, "Did I really write this?", she answered "Most of it."

The same page in the package shows a small drawing of the composer’s music described as "swoops," and nothing more.  So there was a lot of room to improvise.  Come to think of it, the lack of a staff and apparent use of graphic notation remind me of John Cage, who used a transparency with lines to overlay dots and lines in his "Fontana Mix."  Talk about its being hard to find performers when your music is unusual, think of Cage’s predicament after the debut of his last year’s "4’ 33" after which many people consider him a joke!  On the other hand, put yourself in the position of a classically trained musician confronted with that composition’s page of sheet music indicating three parts, each declaring only "Tacet" (musicianese for "silence").  Was Grainer "avant garde," too?

I have to wonder whether what Derbyshire meant by her remark about his composition was that the rest of "most of it" was written by her, or by her assistant Dick Mills, a sound engineer who I understand is responsible for sound effects for a programme (note British spelling) called "The Goon Show."  Something tells me I would be surprised by the truth.


Dick Mills on the left

I can't imagine getting to England anytime soon–especially since I’m paying for the next leg of the journey for a piece of tape and its wrapping, a photo and a piece of paper, as well as some long distance charges.  But maybe I'll get to San Francisco again before long, where there's a place I keep hearing about called the Tape Music Center.  If I can’t make electronic music, maybe I can at least listen to it.  This little piece I received today, which I had to use a lot of leader to bind to a reel for enough time to play it, is a delight!




[Dec. 3, 1963] Dr. Who?  An Adventure In Space And Time


By Jessica Holmes

A New Science Fiction Series Lands At The BBC

Hello, class! Some of you may remember me from last month's article on the Arecibo observatory. For those who don't: hello, my name is Jessica, and I am an artist who likes science.

A lot of people think of the arts and sciences as being at odds with one another, and although I lean towards the arts, I don't see why they have to be separated. The structure of a DNA helix is like a work of sculpture. The exquisite tile patterns found in buildings around the Islamic world are designed according to mathematical principles. Science can be art, and art can be science. So, why am I waffling on about this? Because I believe that the adventure we're about to embark on will prove my assertion.

Produced by Verity Lambert (the BBC's youngest and only woman producer), Doctor Who is the new science fiction series from the BBC, about the mysterious eponymous old man and his machine that allows him to travel through time and space. Along with him are his granddaughter, Susan, and two of her school teachers, Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright. Together, they'll travel backwards and forwards through history, and upside down and sideways through the universe. According to the Radio Times, each adventure may bring them to the North Pole, distant worlds devastated by neutron bombs (well, THERE'S a relevant story for you!), and even the caravan of Marco Polo. I also hear this show is to have a bit of an educational element, so I'll be looking forward to seeing how that goes.

I wouldn't normally cover such a mundane thing as opening credits, but I think in this case it would be remiss of me not to draw attention to them. The theme music itself is exciting and memorable, and sounds truly from another world from the first few bars. Accompanying this is a novel visual effect (or at least, one I haven't seen before) of abstract swirls pulsating and contorting. I did a little research into how it was done, and it turns out this effect is actually quite simple: it's feedback. Much as placing a microphone close to its own output speaker produces an extremely unpleasant screech, pointing a camera at its own output monitor yields 'howlaround' feedback in the form of these abstract waves.

Enough technical talk. On with the episode.

Wandering the Fourth Dimension

We had a bit of an unusual situation in the release of this premier episode. It was shown, in fact, last week, but for obvious reasons not a lot of people watched it, not to mention the nationwide blackout we suffered that night.  It was shown again immediately before the second episode of the serial, which I shall be covering next time.

We fade in from the opening onto a dark, misty shot of a police officer on the beat, passing by a gate labelled with the words 'I.M. Foreman, Scrap Merchant, 76 Totters Lane'. The music gives its cue something is about to happen. The camera closes in on the gate, which swings open to reveal…a junkyard. Shocking, I know. We track forwards into the scrap merchant's yard, passing by a police box as we pan upwards, and then, just as the viewer starts to wonder what we're supposed to be looking at, back to the police box, from within which comes a low hum.

We zoom in on the familiar sign—well, familiar to those of us in my country, anyway. They're quite common, these big blue boxes, though they are sometimes found in other colours, dotted around Britain's streets. Inside each is a telephone connected directly to the local police station, allowing both the public and local police to quickly and easily call for assistance wherever they may be. They can even be used to hold detainees until reinforcements arrive, and I won't even get started on their other, less orthodox uses.

And now we see the title card: An Unearthly Child. This episode was written by Anthony Coburn.

Just when I think we're about to find out what's inside this police box, we cut away to the sound of a school bell, and find ourselves at Coal Hill School, where we meet two of our main characters for the first time: Ian Chesterton, science master, and Barbara Wright, history teacher. These attentive (or perhaps it'd be more accurate to call them nosy) teachers have a conundrum on their hands. It's not an academic matter that ails them, but one of their students, a strange girl named Susan, possesses knowledge far beyond either of them in some fields, while not even being able to say how many shillings are in a pound. It is indeed quite perplexing how such a common piece of knowledge could slip by an otherwise intelligent fifteen year-old (for those unfamiliar, there are twenty shillings in a pound, and twelve pennies in a shilling.) How this girl manages to buy anything without understanding how money works, I couldn't say. She certainly doesn't seem to be from outside Britain; her diction would make my grandmother weep with joy.


From left to right: Jacqueline Hill, Carole Ann Ford and William Russell as Barbara Wright, Susan Foreman, and Ian Chesterton respectively.

Perhaps more perplexing than Susan herself is her address: 76 Totters Lane — the junkyard we saw at the beginning of the episode. In an effort to talk to Susan's grandfather, her only guardian, Ian and Barbara travel to the junkyard one night and await his arrival.

And this, in my opinion, is where the episode starts to get good. It's all been fine up to this point, but there's nothing terribly exciting about watching teachers talk about a difficult student. With the return of the junkyard, the humming police box, and a haze of smog over everything, the mysterious atmosphere kicks back in in full force, and soon enough, my favourite part of the episode arrives.

Enter the Doctor, William Hartnell. There's a good chance you've already heard the name before; he's been in more films over the last decade than I care to mention. Not being the biggest fan of war films, I admit I haven't really seen him in action much, but this Doctor is a far cry from the military men Hartnell normally steps into the shoes of. From the moment he steps into frame, we see just why this programme is called Doctor Who. For all the mystery about Susan, the Doctor blows it out of the water.


William Hartnell as the Doctor.

The Doctor is strange. We get the impression we only hear perhaps a tenth of what he's really thinking, and that his is a mind that races far faster than theirs. It's also clear that this is a man with something to hide; every word out of his mouth is an attempt to deflect the teachers, to persuade them to leave well enough alone. But there's a mischievous twinkle in his eye; we almost get the impression he thinks of this all as a game, an amusement to pass his time. The teachers notice quickly that he's suspiciously keen on keeping them away from the police box. All comes to a head when Susan's voice calls out from inside the box, and fearing her to be in danger, the teachers burst in. At last we get the truth—or at least, our first slice of it.

The police box is bigger on the inside.


All aboard the TARDIS.

Gone is the gloomy junkyard where we had to squint to see; now we're in a bright, open room, lined with all manner of electrical equipment and control panels, and in the centre, a console. This is the TARDIS, short for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It is both a space ship, and a time machine.

Susan and her grandfather are exiles from another time, another world, cast adrift in time and space, never able to settle in one place for too long, for fear of situations such as these. It's clear both long for home, or at the very least, stability.


"Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the Fourth Dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet – without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day."
The Doctor


The teachers may be people of learning, but this is quite beyond them, as the Doctor notes with a derisive comment. Believing the Doctor to be quite mad and his TARDIS to be an elaborate hoax, the teachers attempt to leave, but to no avail. The Doctor has locked the doors!

In a confrontation with her grandfather, Susan demands that he allow her and the teachers to leave. Seemingly the Doctor acquiesces, but as the rest of the crew make for the door, he begins to laugh in a way greatly reminiscent of the cheeky chuckle my grandfather makes whenever he's cheating at a board game.

With the flick of a switch, that mischievous gleam in the Doctor's eye betrays a hint of malice, or perhaps madness. Quick at work on the controls of his machine, the teachers' pleas to be released fall on deaf ears; his ship is launching, and they're along for the ride.

A wheezing, grinding cacophony rises, the swirling lights from the opening titles return, and all aboard have an expression of great discomfort. Clearly, travel through the extra dimensions is a little more uncomfortable than a ride on the London Underground (if such a thing is even possible). The wheezing noise fades away, and we cut to the outside of the box, but not to the junkyard. Outside the TARDIS is a barren landscape stretching as far as the eye can see, desolate and lifeless. Or is it?

Final Thoughts

So, that was an interesting start to what I hope will be an interesting series. The episode was perhaps a little slow to get going, but things really pick up at the halfway point, with some excellent decisions made by director Waris Hussein. In particular I want to praise the contrast between the dim junkyard and the bright interior of the TARDIS. The jarring transition leaves us as agape as the teachers. The mundane world of modern Britain falls away, and now we're in a place where anything can happen. Good performances all around, but especially from Hartnell, who has a real charm, even if I'm not quite sure as to the motivations of his Doctor character. Eccentric or plain mad? Mischievous or malicious? It's too early to say. The Doctor is an intriguing character, and I'm very excited to see more of his antics, and follow along on the adventure.