By Jessica Holmes

This month on Doctor Who, we’re headed out of space and out of time and into a place rather more strange: the land of fiction. This is a bit of a weird one.

Let’s take a look at The Mind Robber, shall we?

This is supposed to be lava. Or Dulkis has oddly foamy volcanoes.

Once Upon A Time

Trying to describe the plot of The Mind Robber is like trying to describe the plot of Yellow Submarine or Alice In Wonderland. Technically speaking you can, but doing it in a way that doesn’t sound like you’re off your head on cough syrup (which I currently am, but that’s beside the point) is another question. We’re firmly in dream-logic territory here, so you might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

With the TARDIS sitting in the path of an oncoming lava flow, it would behoove the Doctor to find somewhere else to park his motor. However, the ship refuses to start, forcing the Doctor to use the emergency unit to yoink the TARDIS out of reality entirely. And that is where the real trouble begins.

Being nowhere and nowhen, you’d think the TARDIS and its inhabitants would be safe. Surely nothing could exist outside of time and space, right? The Doctor doesn’t know, and what he doesn’t know can most certainly hurt them.

It’s not long before visions of home and voices in their head lure the three of them outside the safety of the TARDIS. When they try to return, the ship disintegrates, stranding them in a pitch-dark void.

The next we see of the crew, they’re separated and searching for each other in some sort of maze. Jamie gets shot by an English redcoat and turns into a faceless cardboard cutout. Zoe ends up trapped in a jar. The Doctor is beset by creepy children with a fondness for riddles.

It makes exactly as much sense in context.

The Doctor revives Jamie by putting his face back together (badly), and once reunited with Zoe the group try to get their bearings. What appears from ground level as a maze or a dense forest is in fact a page of written text. They’re in a world of words.

They’re then captured by tin soldiers and led to a black void where a charging unicorn tries to run them through. That’s a sentence I didn’t expect to write in the context of Doctor Who.

How do you stop a charging unicorn? Remind it that there’s no such thing as unicorns, silly. This actually works, and becomes a handy method for dealing with the fantastical threats of this strange place. In a world of imagination, belief is a powerful thing.

After another run-in with a redcoat, the Doctor gets a chance to fix Jamie’s face (he went all cardboard-y after once again trying to bring a knife to a gun-fight), the group find their way to a labyrinth. There they get separated, and the Doctor and Zoe come face to face with a Minotaur. Handsome fellow. Meanwhile, Jamie climbs Rapunzel’s tower. She doesn’t think much of him (only a prince is good enough for her), but is quite amusingly resigned to having every Tom, Dick and Harry use her hair as a rope.

Following a run-in with Medusa, some handy directions from Gulliver and a little tussle with a comic strip villain (and surprising combat skills from Zoe), the Doctor and Zoe eventually join him. Inside the tower, they find a device that’s been attempting (unsuccessfully) to predict (or control) the Doctor’s progress, narrating it as if it was in a storybook. Someone is trying to turn the Doctor into fiction.

The man behind the curtain, so to speak, is the Master (Emrys Jones). Formerly a serialist from the 1920s, he's now a servant to a supercomputer with a bit of a god-complex and no imagination.

Not shown: the gross bit of something or other the Master had in the corner of his mouth in some shots. Maybe he'd just finished his lunch when the Doctor showed up.

He’s technically a prisoner, but is quite enjoying himself. He has access to all of human literature and gets to make make-believe a reality. But he’s no longer young, and the Doctor is ageless. That’s why he’s been trying to trap him in this fictional world. In short… it’s a job offer.

One the Doctor isn't allowed to refuse, but he does so anyway.

The Master responds to his obstinance by taking Jamie and Zoe captive and trapping them between the pages of a book, both literally and figuratively. The line between those two concepts is quite blurry in the land of fiction.

The Doctor makes a run for it. He tries to edit the master tape of his narrative, but realises that writing fiction with himself as a character would trap him inside the story, and the Master would be able to do as he pleased.

This is probably the most miserable I've seen this Doctor. At one point he's on the verge of tears. Some very nice acting from Troughton. I just want to give him a hug and a cup of tea.

Getting tired of his resistance, the Master uses his powers to turn a fictionalised Jamie and Zoe against the Doctor. They trick him into stepping into a trap (which he really should have seen coming, but then again he was very upset and thought he'd lost them forever). With that, the Doctor’s imagination becomes part of the computer.

But what is this all for? The same thing every other Doctor Who villain wants, apparently. To take over the Earth.

However, the problem with plugging the Doctor directly into this computer is that he has a mind of his own. Now he can manipulate the narrative. What ensues could be called a battle of wills, but could equally be called a playground slapfight, but without anyone running home crying to Mummy about the other children not playing the game properly.

The Doctor frees Jamie and Zoe, so the Master dreams up a threat, which the Doctor conjures up a defence against, and on and on it goes. Neither side gets much of an advantage over the other, but the situation gets odder by the second. At one point Sir Lancelot ends up fighting Blackbeard. It is delightfully weird.

All this push and pull overloads the computer, and it eventually jams up, allowing the Doctor to break free. As the robots start firing on everything in sight, the Doctor and company flee. The computer blows up behind them, taking the fictional world with it.

With the narrative broken, things go back to how they should be. The TARDIS is in one piece. The Doctor and his companions are safe (as they ever can be)… and I expect that somewhere in the 20s a writer is waking up from a nap having had a very strange dream indeed.

Curiouser and Curiouser

So this is a surreal story to say the least. You’ve got companions changing faces (Hamish Wilson makes a pretty good Jamie for an episode), reality warping to fit a story, and a whole cast of fictional characters swanning about the narrative. Well, it’s a fictional story, so they’re all made up. Fictional within the world of Doctor Who. Extra-fictional. Double fictional.

You’ve got your classics like Medusa (with rather excellent stop-motion snake hair) and the Minotaur, at least one fairytale princess, a raygun-toting supervillain, and even book characters. Lemuel Gulliver (Bernard Horsfall) is probably the most prominent of the bunch. He pops up every now and then to speak in an oddly cryptic manner and offer some friendly advice before swanning off again. The reason for his cryptic speech is simple: he can only speak in words that his written counterpart used. He does his best to get his point across, but his vocabulary can only stretch so far. He acts of his own volition, but is unable to act against the will of the Master or even perceive anything that the Master doesn’t want him to see.

That’s just such a fascinating idea to me. It's a really interesting way to distinguish between the fictional and the real. And yet with that in mind, I have to wonder something. Lemuel Gulliver was never real in the first place, but there are characters in this story who were. How much of the original Edward Teach is left inside the fictionalised version of Blackbeard? Or Cyrano de Bergerac? Are they constructed entirely from the imagination? Or are they like the Master Controller, plucked out of time and forced to assume a role? It’s a ghastly fate when you think about it.

Come to think of it, it’s not so pleasant for the people who were never real in the first place. They might lack free will and have limited means to express themselves, but does that mean they don’t have actual consciousness? Do they think and feel, or are they just puppets with the illusion of life? Did they die when the computer blew up? Could they even be said to be alive in the first place? Am I thinking much too deeply about a surrealist romp?

Maybe we’ll leave this one to the philosophers.

Final Thoughts

What an odd serial. I still have questions about where the fiction-obsessed computer came from, or how it had such a huge degree of control over reality (or unreality, I should say), but mostly I’m just delighted. It’s so much fun! You never know what’s going to happen next, but whatever it is, it’s bound to be wonderful. Childlike glee, that’s what it gave me. I was big on the Greek myths as a child (the monster-related ones, naturally), so when the Minotaur turned up it was almost like an old friend. A big, old, man-eating friend.

Also, is it bad I’ve never got around to reading Gulliver’s Travels? I think I had a picture book about that bit with the little people but otherwise I have no idea what happens in it.

Anyway. The Mind Robber. It’s weird and surreal and sometimes things happen for no clear reason other than ‘because that’s how the story goes’, and I am…fine with that. I’m actually perfectly fine with not understanding everything. Why shouldn’t the world outside time and space as we understand it be one of pure imagination?

4.5 out of 5 stars for The Mind Robber