Don’t let anyone tell you the Double Feature is dead. My daughter and I enjoyed (if that’s the right word) three hours of cinematic entertainment the other weekend, namely the paired destined-to-be-classics: Konga and Master of the World. Now, the latter is a Vincent Price vehicle, so we expected that one to be decent, but what could we make of Konga, billed as the best giant ape movie since King Kong? And in color, no less!
For those who say that my reviewes are too often negative, I will begin with the positive notes. The cinematography, the scoring, even the acting (for the most part), are “A” level. Also, there is an excellent scene in the middle depicting the family life of one of the minor characters. It is funny and earnest.
Well, I’ll let the movie speak for itself. I’ve secured a set of Cineclips, and I took note of the film’s immortal dialogue. You can tell me if it was worth my time:
“A small private plane bearing Dr. Charles Decker, famous English botanist, burst into flames and crashed into the jungle depths…”
“Extra! Dr. Decker returns!”
“I’m on the verge of a revolutionary link between what grows in the Earth and animal life!”
“Extracts from these plants may well prove to be the link between vegetable and animal life!”
“You fool! You think I want the biggest experiment of my life menaced by a cat? Even those few drops might have made Tabby swell up to huge proportions! We’re not ready to have a cat the size of a leopard running through the streets…besides, Konga is the subject of my experiments.”
“It works! It works!”
“You know how much I enjoy working with you, Dr. Decker!”
“So long as I am Dean of this college, you will do as I say!
“I am your master, and you must obey me…”
Decker: “We killed Dean Foster. What are you going to do about it?”
Margaret: “What can I do? In my own mind and heart, I’ve already taken you for better and for worse..[but] I never dreamed you could kill.”
Decker: “You know I had to, sooner or later. I would have been forced to kill someone through Konga just to prove I was right, just to make my experiment a success!”
Margaret: “I will be Mrs. Charles Decker!”
Decker: “And you will be…very soon!”
“I’m certain I shall be the first to proclaim a new method of mutation which will accelerate growth in such a manner that it must revolutionize the world.”
“I think Dr. Decker comes first with you, though he’s old enough to be your father. It’s unnatural!”
“Sandra, dear, if you join with me, I can promise you adventure, the thrill of discovery, and the glory greater than any woman has ever known!”
“Konga…let me go!”
“Fantastic! There’s a huge monster gorilla that’s constantly growing to outlandish proportions loose in the streets!”
One lousy, stinking star.
(back in a few with the other movie, or perhaps Analog. You never know!)