By Jessica Holmes

Welcome back, everyone! We finally, finally get to move on to a new story. Jumping off the back of the behemoth that was The Daleks’ Master Plan, The Massacre of St. Bartholomew’s Eve is a breath of fresh air at just 4 episodes long.

It’s also a pure historical (goodness, I’ve missed them), and what’s more it centres on a topic I don’t know much about. It’s time to put Doctor Who’s educational value to the test.

WAR OF GOD

France, 1572. The TARDIS lands in the bustling streets of Paris. The Doctor and Steven don some local garb and head straight for the nearest tavern.

Inside, we meet several of our main characters, making for quite a convenient introduction. We’ve got the level-headed Nicholas and the hot-tempered Gaston, both Huguenots, and we also meet Simon, a Catholic with no great fondness for the bunch. It’s worth noting they’re all fictional. The script wastes little time in establishing their characters. By the time the Doctor and Steven actually get inside, I’ve got a pretty good read of the bunch. With the Huguenots not being too popular in Paris, Simon has little difficulty in convincing the landlord to spy on the Protestants.

Over a cup of wine, the Doctor and Steven make plans for their day in Paris. The Doctor plans to visit a man called Preslin, and in the meantime Steven decides to go sightseeing. Not that there’s much to see. Most of the Paris landmarks we know today haven't been built yet. Still, I suppose there’s Notre Dame.

There probably aren’t any nice little crêpe stands around yet, though.

As the Doctor leaves, he bumps into a stranger who begins to follow him. Steven attempts to go after him, but finds himself waylaid by the classic tourist blunder: not understanding foreign money. Seeing his predicament, Nicholas helpfully covers the tab and invites Steven to join him for a drink with his Huguenot friends.

Across Paris, the Doctor makes it safely to his destination. He finds an old man, an apothecary named Preslin. He is something of a conundrum for me. There is no Preslin as far as I have been able to tell. And yet, apparently this bloke has not only discovered microorganisms, but also found the link between microbes and disease. Setting aside the anachronism of the latter part, I don’t understand why this fictional character is presented as if he were actually a historically significant person. It seems to be made up for no good reason. I think it could make less historically-savvy viewers confused.

Back with Steven, the Huguenots soon meet Anne Chaplet, a runaway servant of the local Abbot, and agree to hide her.

Speaking of the Abbot, the Doctor’s asking Preslin about him right now. The (also fictional) Abbot of Amboise is by Preslin’s account a rather unpleasant character, and quite keen on throwing people into prison for heresy.

Anne tells the group after some coercion from Gaston that she overheard talk of a planned massacre of Huguenots. Unfortunately for her, the Abbot’s men know that she knows, and her life is at risk.

The Huguenots arrange for her to go to the kitchens of the (real) Admiral de Coligny, a prominent Huguenot and friend of the King. However, the landlord is making good on his promise to Simon. He listens intently as the group realise that there might be a plot brewing against Henry of Navarre, the Protestant prince who has just married the Catholic King’s sister. The Huguenots depart, leaving Steven to continue waiting for the Doctor.

The landlord tells Simon about the girl, and the newcomer Englishman, pointing Steven out to him. As Nicholas returns, Simon hides, watching as Nicholas asks the landlord to tell the Doctor, should he show up, that Steven is staying at the Admiral’s abode.

Successful, Simon can now report to his master, the Abbot.

Is it me, or does he look a bit familiar?

THE SEA BEGGAR

The Doctor fails to make an appearance at the tavern the following morning, so Steven returns to his Huguenot friends, who have a visitor: the secretary to the Abbot, Roger Colbert. He’s come to ask about Anne, the servant girl. Gaston lies to cover for her (he may be rather rude, abrasive and outright classist at times, but he does have his good moments), and sends Roger away.

However, Roger didn’t come alone. Out the window, the Huguenots spot none other than the Abbot himself! Steven finds himself in hot water with his new friends when he identifies the Abbot as the Doctor.

Under suspicion that he’s a Catholic spy, Steven takes Nicholas to find the Doctor and prove the uncanny resemblance.

Meanwhile, the Admiral meets with Marshal Tavannes (based on the real Gaspard de Saulx, sieur de Tavannes), and it quickly becomes apparent that they don’t get along well because of their religious differences.

Steven and Nicholas make it to the apothecary, but they find it empty.  A local woman tells them Preslin hasn’t lived there since he was arrested for heresy two years ago.

…Then who was the Doctor talking to?

Upon being confronted by Nicholas, who reasonably believes him to be a liar, Steven makes a run for it. Nicholas returns alone to the other Huguenots, and reports the unhappy news of Steven’s presumed treachery. However, Anne speaks out in Steven’s defence, him having only been the one to treat her with a bit of actual kindness and respect.

Refraining from referring to the working class as ‘nothings’ will do wonders for your interpersonal relations, Gaston.

Steven goes to the Abbot’s apartment, where he overhears the Marshal, Simon and Roger plotting the assassination of the ‘Sea Beggar’. Simon assumes the order comes from none other than the Queen Mother, Catherine de' Medici.

Steven hurries back to the Huguenots to warn them, narrowly avoiding the wrong end of Gaston’s sword. Operating more on testosterone than common sense, Gaston kicks Steven out, for which Nicholas scolds him. Sure, not stabbing the bloke was a nice gesture, but it might have been useful to actually try listening to what he had to say.

Anne joins Steven as he leaves, and the two decide to hide at the abandoned apothecary.

Back at the house, the Admiral arrives home. While all this has been going on, there’s been a bit of a subplot about allying with the Dutch against Spain. He thinks he may have got the King to agree to the war. However, the monarch warned him that if he goes ahead, the Admiral will go down in history as the ‘Sea Beggar’.

A weird nickname will soon be the least of his problems.

PRIEST OF DEATH

Though the war with Spain subplot does not enormously interest me, I have to tell you about it for context reasons, and also so I can make fun of characters for having silly ideas.

See, the Admiral seems to think that allying with the Dutch rebels against Spain will be just the thing to unite the country and quell the brewing civil unrest. He, a Protestant, wants to lead a majority-Catholic country into war against another strongly Catholic country. In aid of a bunch of staunch Protestants. Yes, that definitely sounds like it’ll be a really popular war.

The King’s got a worse attention span than me, though. He gets tired of the conversation and insists on changing the subject.

Steven tries to get Anne to come with him to the Abbot’s apartment. Come on, Anne, go with the nice handsome stranger. Though I wonder: how does Steven speak French? English schools are rubbish at teaching foreign languages.

The Admiral and the Marshal are on the brink of coming to blows over their religious differences (something I genuinely don’t understand and this serial doesn’t seem interested in really exploring) when the King finally sees fit to do a little bit of ruling and tells them to sit down and shut up.

Or something to that effect, anyway.

To which the Admiral responds by insulting his mother. The King likes that. She won’t bother him for the rest of the day now, so they can go and play tennis.

Sometimes I wonder how the concept of hereditary rule lasted as long as it did.

Steven finds the Abbot, and to buy some time with him he says he’s come to return Anne. He could have warned Anne first, but it does get the Abbot’s attention, and he tells the pair to wait for him while he has a meeting. Steven overhears everything, learning the location of the Admiral’s planned assassination. Before he can learn more, however, Roger spots him and informs the Abbot that Steven is the Englishman he’s been telling him about.

Steven runs back to the Huguenots to warn them, and Nicholas gets to the Admiral in the nick of time to watch him get shot. Well, it’s the thought that counts. At least he’s not dead.

Learning that the attempt has failed, the Marshal suspects that the Abbot is a traitor to the Queen.

The King isn’t happy to learn of the Admiral’s injury, though he might be more upset at having his game of tennis interrupted. It’s hard to tell from the temper tantrum.

The Admiral returns home, and Steven finally gets the chance to tell the Huguenots everything he’s learned, but he’s still convinced that the Abbot is the Doctor. Well, if that’s the case then he’s certainly very dedicated.

And also very dead.

We’d better hope that the Abbot and our Doctor are two different people, or we’ll need a new name for the programme.

What’s more, the death is being blamed on the Huguenots, stoking the tensions in the city even further. His Royal Foolishness puts the Marshal in charge of ensuring the Admiral’s safety. It comes to him as news when dear old Mumsie comes in to tell him that the Marshal was in on the plot, and so was she. Well, that’s monarchy for you. Kill your enemies before they get the chance to do the same to you.

In the streets, tensions continue to rise. The crowd are looking for someone to blame for the death of the Abbot. Steven arrives at the scene of the Abbot’s murder to find what looks like his friend (and only ride out of here) lying dead on the floor. He doesn’t have time to mourn, as the crowd turns on him when Simon spots him and points the finger. All Steven can do is run for his life.

BELL OF DOOM

Though delayed by the curfew, Steven eventually makes it back to Anne, who is very relieved to see him alive and in one piece. Together they comb over the apothecary’s shop, trying to discover where the Doctor stashed his clothes. If he can’t find the TARDIS key, Steven’s going to be stuck here. Paris doesn’t seem like a great place to live right now. Quite apart from all the religious unrest and lack of indoor plumbing, you can’t even buy a croque monsieur yet. I mean, what’s the point?

Anyway, he’d better hurry up, because the Marshal and Simon are planning to find and kill him. It’s just one thing after another for the poor bloke.

Anne finds the Doctor’s stick, but no sign of his clothes. Where could they be? Well, the obvious place.

They’re on the Doctor’s body.

The Doctor finally turns up, having been… where, exactly? On holiday? He’s not forthcoming with any answers.

Meanwhile, Gaston begins to worry about the obvious danger of the Admiral being guarded by a bunch of religious enemies. He advises that the Admiral should leave Paris, but the others refuse to consider it. To be fair the Admiral doesn’t look in any shape to travel, but I’m with Gaston on this one.

Alas, history is already written.

Upon learning that tomorrow is St. Bartholomew’s Day, the Doctor urges Steven that they mustn’t delay in returning to the TARDIS. Sending Anne off to her aunt’s house (against both Anne and Steven’s wishes), the Doctor practically drags Steven by the ear back to the ship with a hasty farewell.

He has good cause to hurry. Across the city, the Queen Mother meets with the Marshal, bearing an order signed by the King himself. The plans for tomorrow will go ahead. She tells the Marshal to disregard his list of targets. Once the killing starts, the good people of Paris will take care of things. They know who their enemies are, which is to say anyone not Catholic.

The Marshal isn’t keen on killing random innocent Protestants as well as their leaders.  It's not as if he actually does anything about it, so I can’t give him credit. He does however urge against killing Henry of Navarre for fear of provoking an all-out holy war, and the Queen Mother listens to him.

The Doctor and Steven leave Paris as the city plunges into chaos. As they leave the Doctor gives Steven a history lesson. The bloodshed spread from city to city, leaving as many as ten thousand dead in the city of Paris alone. Horrified to realise that all the Huguenot friends he made will be dead in a matter of hours, Steven’s furious with the Doctor for leaving Anne behind in the midst of all this. So furious, in fact, that he announces he’s leaving him behind wherever they next land.

The Doctor does seem to understand why this would be a deal-breaker for Steven, but he does give quite an interesting argument for his defence.

“…history sometimes gives us a terrible shock. That is because we don't quite fully understand. Why should we? After all, we're all too small to realise its final pattern. Therefore, don't try and judge it from where you stand…”

The part I find of particular interest is the Doctor’s comment on being too small to realise history’s final pattern. I find myself reminded of Ray Bradbury’s short story A Sound Of Thunder. In that story, a time-travelling tourist inadvertently causes disaster when he steps on a prehistoric butterfly, changing the entire course of Earth’s history.

Who is to say that removing Anne from her time and place wouldn’t do irreparable damage to the established course of events? I see the Doctor’s point, and his argument for non-interference.

Then again, he did take Katarina from ancient Troy, and who knows what that might have done to history? On the other hand, she did end up saving his life, sacrificing her life in the process. Perhaps that was history’s way of correcting itself. After all, she should have been long-dead by that point.

The TARDIS lands on present-day Wimbledon Common (that’s convenient!) and Steven leaves, the Doctor finding himself alone to reminisce about his companions and shatter my heart into a million tiny pieces.

“Now… they're all gone. All gone. None of them…could understand. Not even…my little Susan…or Vicki …and yes … Barbara and Chatterton… Chesterton! They were all too impatient to get back to their own time. And now… Steven. Perhaps I should go home, back to my own planet. But I can't. I can't.”

He still gets Ian’s name wrong, and something about that tugs at the heartstrings. I wonder why he can’t go home? For a few moments, the facade of the brilliant eccentric scientist falls away. We see what I think has been at the heart of the Doctor’s character for a long time, perhaps ever since Susan left: a lonely, homesick old man.

I want to give him a hug so badly.

Lest we get too sad, it’s at that moment a newcomer bursts into the TARDIS, mistaking it for a telephone box. Taken aback, the Doctor tells her that it most assuredly is not.

Steven comes running back a moment later (gee, that lasted a long time!) to tell the Doctor that a couple of coppers are coming towards the TARDIS. They'd all better get going.

The Doctor takes off in a hurry, seemingly forgetting about his guest. Then again, forgetting might have nothing to do with it. He seems more than happy to have acquired a new companion.

The woman doesn’t seem to mind being roped in to an unexpected adventure.  I suppose she forgot about the road accident she was trying to report in the first place.

The Doctor notes that this new friend, one Dorothea Chaplet (Dodo for short…and yes, I will be making fun of that) bears quite a resemblance to Susan.

Granted, I can see the resemblance, but I think the Doctor might have some issues.

Realising that Dodo has the same surname as Anne, the Doctor and Steven wonder if Dodo might in fact be her descendant. Apparently her grandfather actually was French. Well, it’s certainly possible, but I hardly think Anne was the only Chaplet in France. Plus, unless she was already married (of which there was no mention), wouldn’t any of her future children have taken her husband’s name?

The more you think about it, the less likely it gets. Nevertheless, I suppose it does relate back to the Doctor’s point about the pattern of history being impossible to see from inside events. Perhaps if they had taken Anne, Dodo might never have been born. It’s impossible to say.

Final Thoughts

The most important thing for you to know about this serial is that it’s thoroughly enjoyable. The pacing is excellent, the characterisation strong and the plot intriguing. This has been my favourite serial for quite a long time. I found myself quite impressed with Purves and Hartnell’s performances in their confrontation at the end.

Other than the bit with Preslin, the plot doesn’t contradict recorded history, and events play out as they should. I must note that it is not entirely agreed upon as to who orchestrated the massacre. However it is quite commonly attributed to Catherine de Medici, so I think that’s a reasonable stance to take for this story. There’s not really any deep exploration of the religious differences at the heart of the conflict. To be honest I’d be at a loss to tell you why the Catholics and Protestants hated each other so much. That might be a theological topic a bit too deep and nuanced to satisfactorily cover in a children’s television serial. I think the general point is that there is no point to this sort of violence.

I would have liked an actual explanation for the Doctor’s absence, as the lack of explanation makes it more glaring. Did he get to talk to the Abbot? Why does the Abbot look so much like him, is it just a bizarre coincidence? Was the man truly Preslin after all? After all, he seemed to want to help.

Looking back, it is quite a glaring flaw in the plot. As I understand it this serial was subject to some heavy rewrites, and this is where it really shows.

There is also a bit of mood whiplash at the end of the story. We go from a city gripped by religious violence to the bitter parting of Steven and the Doctor, the sadness of the Doctor alone, and then quite abruptly the comedic arrival of Dodo.

It’s a bit of a tacked-on companion introduction, and does undermine the power of the previous scene. Still, it’s only a small flaw when you step back and take a look at the whole thing. I am prepared to forgive it.

Also, it’s also a bit cheap to give Steven what feels like a proper exit and then bring him back about two minutes later. I’m in a pickle. On the one hand, Steven returning makes the previous scene seem pointless. On the other, I really like Steven and don’t want to get rid of him yet.

From a writing standpoint I have to disapprove, but from a fan standpoint I’m just glad to get more Steven.

The Massacre of St Bartholomew’s Eve comes as a welcome return to form for Doctor Who, and this viewer is eager to see what the next adventure will be.

4 out of 5 stars