by Victoria Silverwolf
The Big Bang
Just about a century and a half ago, the largest volcanic eruption in recorded history occurred on the island of Sumbawa, in what was then part of the Dutch East Indies. Mount Tambora exploded on April 5, 1815. Something like one hundred thousand people died as a result of the disaster, either by the direct effects of the eruption, or from disease and starvation due to the severe change in the environment. The volcano ejected so much material into the atmosphere that global temperatures were reduced to a significant degree for a year or more. In the Northern Hemisphere, 1816 is often known as the Year Without a Summer. Crop failures and famine resulted in Asia, Europe, and North America.
A map of the island, published in 1855. Note the large crater left behind by the explosion.
So what does this horrible tragedy have to do with with a cheap science fiction movie? Well, it's a long story.
Now is the Summer of Our Discontent
In the spring of 1816, Percy Shelley and his teenage girlfriend Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin paid a visit to Lord Byron, along with some other folks, at a mansion known as the Villa Diodati, near Lake Geneva in Switzerland.
Looks like a nice place for a vacation, if it weren't for the bad weather.
Thanks to Mount Tambora, the following summer was wet and cold. Instead of enjoying the outdoors, this group of literary intellectuals had to amuse themselves inside the house. Lord Byron proposed that they each write a scary story. Shelley and Byron only produced fragments, while fellow houseguest John William Polidori came up with The Vampyre, the first modern vampire story and a possible influence on Bram Stoker's famous 1897 novel Dracula. Far more important than this, however, was the classic work created by Mary Godwin (later married to Shelley, and better known to us as Mary Shelley.)
The Modern Prometheus
First published anonymously in 1818, the novel Frankenstein is too well known to require any description here. Suffice to say that it was an immediate critical and popular success.
The first edition.
As early as 1823, it was adapted for the stage by Richard Brinsley Peake under the title Presumption; or the Fate of Frankenstein. Shelley herself witnessed this production.
A playbill from the original staging.
It's Alive!
Many other versions of the story reached theaters in years to follow. The first cinematic adaptation arrived in 1910, in the form of a brief film from Edison Studios.
A still of Charles Ogle in the role of the Monster. This film is now thought to be lost, but maybe a copy will turn up some day.
Of course, things really got going with the famous 1931 movie starring Boris Karloff. Many sequels followed, as any fan of the syndicated television program Shock Theater can tell you. For the record, the series from Universal Studios consists of The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), Son of Frankenstein (1939), The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943), The House of Frankenstein (1944), and House of Dracula (1945). (Despite not being named in the title, the Frankenstein Monster does appear in the latter film.)
For some reason, the studio never completed the obvious trilogy with a film called House of the Wolf Man, but maybe some enterprising film maker will come up with something in the future.
Elsa Lanchester as the Bride of Frankenstein. The lady has style.
Things got a lot less serious with Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). (Somewhere along the way, the name of the creator got mixed up with the name of the creation. The two comedians didn't actually meet the man called Frankenstein, but rather the Monster he created.)
Nearly a decade went by before the Monster was revived by the British studio Hammer, with The Curse of Frankenstein (1957), followed by The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) and The Evil of Frankenstein (1964). Meanwhile, low budget American productions showed up, including I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957), Frankenstein 1970 (1958), and Frankenstein's Daughter (1958).
Christopher Lee as Hammer's version of the Monster.
From Mars to Puerto Rico
For some reason they didn't give me my Space Shield Eye Protectors.
The latest film to cash in on Mary Shelley's creation, Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster, arrived in American movie houses just a couple of days ago. At this point, you may want to throw rotten fruit and vegetables at me, because I've made you suffer through my lengthy introduction for no good reason.
Neither Frankenstein nor his creature appear in the movie.
So why the title? I'll get to that in a moment.
We begin aboard an alien spaceship. The trailer for the movie claims they're from Mars, although this is not explicitly stated in the film itself. In command is a woman who is always addressed as Princess. (The end credits call her Princess Marcuzan, but this name is never mentioned in the movie.) In the tradition of women from outer space, she's a beauty, dressed in a skintight catsuit, a wispy cape, and an odd-looking hat.
Marilyn Hanold, Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Month for June, 1959, as Princess Marcuzan.
Assisting her is a little fellow called Doctor Nadir. He seems to be in charge of destroying Earth missiles soon after takeoff. (This is conveyed to the audience through the use of stock footage of rockets blowing up. I'd say that at least half of this movie consists of stock footage.)
Lou Cutell as Nadir. It's nice to see someone who really enjoys his work.
There are a few other Martians on board as well, who share the same bald head and pointed ears as Nadir. Most of the time, you can't tell they're not Earthlings, because they wear very NASA-looking spacesuits and space helmets.
Back on Earth, an automobile full of military types and science types drives very slowly towards Cape Kennedy. We get to see a lot of space-themed businesses on the road, such as the Satellite Motel, the Polaris Motel, and a burger joint that has what looks like a map of Mars for an entrance. In an odd scene, one of the military guys asks our film's Lady Scientist how she's doing, and she says nothing at all. I have no idea what that was all about.
Anyway, after an excruciatingly long car ride, we arrive at a press conference, where we get introduced to astronaut Colonel Frank Saunders (does his first name suggest anything to you?) and a scientist with the very masculine name of Adam Steele.
From left to right, Military Guy, Lady Scientist, Astronaut, and Manly Scientist.
Things go OK at the press conference, until Frank answers a question from a reporter with a mild joke, followed by a wide grin. The film freezes, and we think that maybe something has gone wrong in the projection room.
Would you buy a used car from this man?
It turns out that Frank has frozen in place. The science types hustle him out of the room, and we see them open up his head on an operating table. Don't worry, you won't see any gore; Frank is actually a robot.
You see, because all those American rockets are blowing up, NASA wants to send a machine to Mars instead of a human being. (And you wondered where your tax dollars were going.) The one little flaw in this plan is that nothing prevents the Martians from blowing up Frank's rocket as well. He crashes on Puerto Rico, badly messed up by the accident in both body and mind.
Frank after the explosion. He's had better days.
Frank goes on a rampage, killing folks at random. In the movie's most gruesome scene, we see him attack a guy with a machete (off screen, thank goodness.) At some point, Lady Scientist says he's like a Frankenstein, in a feeble attempt to justify the movie's title.
Meanwhile, the Martian spaceship lands on Earth. An expository speech from the Princess to her crew (who should already know all this) reveals that a big war on Mars resulted in victory for her side, but left the planet without any females except herself. The plan is to kidnap nubile human females and use them for reproductive purposes.
The Martian spaceship, which looks way too small to hold all the folks we see inside it.
It probably won't surprise you to find out that many of these young ladies arrive wearing bikinis. Given this fact, a scene of a bunch of young folks dancing, and a recurring rock 'n' roll song on the soundtrack, you can classify this film as a Beach Movie.
The Princess inspects the first captive.
While this is going on, Lady Scientist and Manly Scientist track down Frank with some kind of electronic gizmo. This involves the two of them leisurely riding around Puerto Rico on a little motor scooter while a love song plays on the soundtrack. This suggestion of a romance between the two never really develops into anything.
Suddenly the movie turns into a travelogue.
They find Frank, and somehow change him from a homicidal maniac back into a nice robot. The pair foolishly split up, and Lady Scientist gets kidnapped by the Martians. She's locked up in a cage next to our Space Monster, the oddly named Mull. This critter is a skull-faced thing with big claws, and would make a pretty good Hallowe'en costume.
Would you buy a used spaceship from this monster?
A few minutes before the end credits, our pseudo-Frankenstein finally meets the Space Monster. You can probably guess how things turn out.
Obviously, this is a cheap, silly little movie, best enjoyed as a source of derisive laughter. I doubt it will be the last Frankenstein-related film we'll ever see, and it may not even be the worst. (Frankenstein's Daughter is a strong contender.) I understand there's even a Japanese-American co-production, already released in the Land of the Rising Sun, but not yet in the USA. Keep watching the movie listings in your local newspaper!
A scene from Furankenshutain tai Baragon, as the film is known in Japan.
We'll be discussing better movies, I hope, and more at our next Journey Show: At the Movies!
