By Jessica Holmes

There were times watching this serial when I began to wonder if I would ever be free. I began to fear that long after all has come to dust and the cockroaches inherit the Earth, I’ll still be there, sat in the rubble, praying for the Daleks to get on with it and put me out of my misery.

You might say I’m being overdramatic, and perhaps I am, but I can say with sincerity that I’m thankful this is the last article I have to write for this one serial.

GOLDEN DEATH

The Daleks in their time machine track the Doctor to the Old Kingdom of ancient Egypt, where he’s busy fiddling with the lock on his TARDIS, thinking that the Monk is still on his tail.

Steven notices the Dalek ship arrive at the building site of the Pyramids, and together with Sara goes to investigate. Unbeknownst to them, an Egyptian slave spots their coming, and hurries off to report it to his overseer.

The Doctor’s companions soon realise that it’s not the Monk who has just landed here, but the Daleks. They’re on their way to warn the Doctor when a gang of heavily-armed Egyptian soldiers ambush them.

The soldiers then attempt to accost the Daleks too, but bronze spears and bare chests are no match for ray-guns and armoured plating. The Daleks slaughter most of the soldiers, a small few managing to retreat and regroup.

Meanwhile, the Doctor finishes his repair work, puts on a stupid hat, and indulges in some sight-seeing. It’s not every day you get to see an ancient wonder under construction. He hears the familiar sound of a landing TARDIS, and sure enough out steps the Monk sporting a fashionable pair of sunglasses.

The Doctor then realises that if the Monk has only just landed, then the earlier landing must have been the Daleks!

The Egyptian guards tie Steven and Sara up in a hut, and then make the foolish decision to leave only one soldier to guard them while they go off to do something else.

Meanwhile the Monk to his displeasure comes upon the Daleks. It’s only by Mavic Chen’s intervention that the Daleks don’t immediately shoot him. Unlike the Daleks, Chen’s smart enough to notice that the Monk isn't local.

Chen presses the Monk for information, and the Monk tells him that he’s here to exact vengeance on the Doctor. With their interests aligned, Chen asks the Monk to gain the Doctor’s confidence and retrieve the Taranium core. The Monk agrees, though he doesn’t seem too eager about it.

While all that’s been going on, the Egyptian slaves have been stuffing Pharoah’s tomb full of treasures. The usual stuff like gold, jewels, fancy furniture, a certain police box…

The Monk starts searching for the Doctor, but he won’t find him anywhere near his TARDIS. No, the Doctor is playing mischief with the Monk’s ship. He strips out an important-looking component, and also fiddles with the ship’s cloaking device to make it look like a police box. It’s partly to confuse the Daleks, but I like to think that it’s mostly just because it’s funny to mess with the Monk.

Sara manages to untie herself and Steven, and they take the guards by surprise. Steven's impressed with how good Sara is in a fight. Well, I should hope so, given that killing people was basically her job for much of her life.

The Doctor confronts the Monk in Pharoah’s tomb, and the Monk ‘warns’ the Doctor about the Daleks, urging him to hand over the Taranium before someone gets hurt. The Doctor responds only with a laugh as he advances on him.

Steven and Sara arrive some time later to find no sign of the Doctor. As they wonder what has become of him, a nearby sarcophagus slides open, and a figure wrapped in cloth begins to emerge…

ESCAPE SWITCH

Steven and Sara look on in amazement as a groaning figure emerges from the great stone coffin. Is it the mummy’s curse? Nah, it’s the Monk!

But if he’s here, where’s the Doctor?

Steven and Sara help the Monk out of his wrappings as he claims that he was only trying to warn the Doctor. Oh, and he’s coming down with a bit of a headache, so if Steven could just open the TARDIS door for him that would be very much appreciated. Steven wasn’t born yesterday, so they take the Monk with them to look for the Doctor.

Rather than the Doctor, they end up finding Chen and the Daleks. The Monk wastes no time turning his coat once again and offering Steven and Sara as hostages to draw the Doctor in.

Meanwhile, the Egyptians realise their prisoners have gone missing, but can’t go after them without risking the war machines.

On the Dalek ship with Steven and Sara, the Monk explains to the irate pair that he didn’t actually betray them. The Daleks were about to kill them all, so the Monk offering them as hostages kept them alive for just a few more minutes. It’s certainly plausible, but I can’t blame Steven and Sara for not wanting to trust him as far as they could throw him.

Chen broadcasts an ultimatum from the Dalek ship, ordering the Doctor to come running pronto with the Taranium, or else.

Left with no choice, the Doctor comes to meet the Daleks, and sets up a rendezvous where he’ll hand over the core in exchange for the release of all prisoners, including the Monk. One Dalek only, no bloodshed needed. Of course the Daleks are bad at following instructions as several turn up to the meeting.

However, the Egyptians, having also heard the message, have plans of their own.

The Doctor insists the prisoners be set free first, to which the Daleks agree. He then hands the Taranium over to Chen, running for cover just as the Egyptians attack the Daleks from behind. You can’t fault them for bravery, I suppose.

It doesn’t go brilliantly for the Egyptians, but they do manage to trap one Dalek and encase it in bricks, and the whole stunt creates enough of a distraction for the Doctor and his companions to slip away and regroup. They’ve lost the Taranium core, but on the plus side the Doctor stole the directional unit from the Monk’s TARDIS, so they have a chance of getting back to Kembel and stopping the Daleks once and for all.

The Monk gets back to his own TARDIS, getting safely away from the Daleks. Good for him, he’s much too fun to kill off. He does end up stranded in some frozen wasteland though, so I doubt we'll be seeing him any time soon.

The Daleks are initially frothing at the mouth to catch the Doctor, but Chen points out to the short-tempered tin cans that they have what they came to get.

The Doctor installs the stolen component to his own TARDIS, unsure if it will work, as the Monk has a more up-to-date model. Still, it’s the best chance they have, so he bids Steven to throw the switch–

And the control room vanishes in a flash of blinding white light.

THE ABANDONED PLANET

The Daleks return victorious to Kembel, accompanied by an insufferably smug Chen. The Doctor meanwhile fears that the directional unit has failed to get them where they need to go.  We’re spared a plot derailment by the realisation that the view outside looks an awful lot like Kembel, so it would seem they made it after all.

Imagine how much longer this serial would be if they hadn’t. It’d probably be another three episodes at least.

Now for the most exciting thing in the world: a cabinet meeting! The Galactic Council convenes to have a good natter and complain and grumble at each other. They note the absence of Chen and are about to kick him out of the Evil Aliens Club when he swans in acting like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. His Imperial Smugness proceeds to be so insufferable that the gang are on the verge of tearing him apart with their bare hands/claws/tentacles. Then he shoots one of them dead. Not the best way to make friends, I’d have thought.

Outside, Steven and Sara traverse the jungle, noting that there don’t seem to be any Varga plants around, and no Daleks either for that matter. Where could they have disappeared to?

Chen manages to get the Council to sit down and shut up, and they’re about to start discussing the matter of sharing power after the invasion (bit last-minute to be discussing that, I would have thought) when the Daleks show up and spoil the party.

Steven and Sara double back to the TARDIS, but the Doctor’s nowhere to be found. They go back again to look for the Dalek city. Well, that was a bit pointless.

The Daleks have taken the Council into custody, and are planning to destroy the city as they start their conquest. I’m not really sure why. If they want the Council dead they could just shoot them. They’re in a cell; it’d be like shooting rats in a bucket. Not that I’d ever do that, of course. I like rats.

Steven and Sara find the city apparently abandoned. They manage to just walk right in all the way to the central control room where the Dalek time machine sits unattended. Thinking that the Daleks must have the Doctor, they plan to commandeer the machine (never mind that they can’t work the thing) and use it as leverage to get him back. However, their message reaches not the Daleks, but the imprisoned Council. It took them a while to find a scrap of moral backbone, but by the time Steven and Sara reach them they’re eager to mobilise against the Daleks and defend their galaxies.

Steven and Sara agree to release them, and they all scurry off as fast as their spaceships can carry them, all except for one… Chen. They’re wondering what’s taking him so long when his ship blows up shortly after takeoff.

I was ready to throw a brick through the television at this point. I was not going to let them kill Chen without me even getting to see the look on his face.

With Chen apparently out of the picture and the Doctor nowhere to be found, it’s up to Steven and Sara to find a way to stop the Daleks. They spot a lone Dalek entering an underground tunnel, and are about to go after it when Chen shows up alive and well and carrying a gun.

Still planning on being the master of the universe, Chen orders Steven and Sara into the underground base.

DESTRUCTION OF TIME

Chen reveals to Steven that he too came back to find the Doctor. Not out of any sense of altruism, mind you. He believes the Doctor seeks to usurp Chen’s position with the Daleks. Chen, they threw you in a cell. You don’t have a position with the Daleks any more.

They get themselves taken prisoner very quickly.  Unlike the above ground city, the underground base is very much occupied. Because he hasn’t realised that to the Daleks he’s nothing more than a useful idiot, Chen gets his knickers in a twist because these are HIS prisoners. Apparently humouring him, the Daleks tell Chen to escort ‘his’ prisoners to the Dalek Supreme.

In a move that comes as a shock only to Chen, the Dalek Supreme states that their alliance has ended. When Chen gets it into his head to start ordering the Daleks around as if he himself was their leader, they completely ignore him. Growing desperate, he shoots at the Dalek Supreme. It doesn't work.

Finally realising how much trouble he’s in, Chen runs for his life, yelling some nonsense about being immortal. Guess the pressure finally got to him.

The Doctor finally turns up, emerging from the shadows like some film noir hero. He hands Steven the key to the TARDIS, urging him to take Sara there once he gives the signal. Why? He’s going to activate the Time Destructor.

The Daleks catch up to Mavic Chen and finally wipe the smug look off his face, shooting him dead and leaving his corpse in the corridor. They come back to find the Doctor tinkering with the Time Destructor, realising with horror that they can’t fire on him without destroying it.

Using a Dalek as a shield, the Doctor and his companions back towards the exit. Once they’re out, the Doctor tells Steven and Sara to run. Steven obeys without a second thought (gee, thanks) but Sara stops, unwilling to leave the Doctor to his fate.

Sara and the Doctor make their way to the TARDIS, carrying the activated Time Destructor, as the Daleks make their pursuit.

Steven makes it safely back, but the Time Destructor is taking its toll on the Doctor and Sara. In a matter of minutes, Sara appears to have aged several decades. The Doctor doesn’t seem to be as badly affected, but perhaps that’s because he is already fairly old.

Over the next few cuts, Sara looks older and older in each one, horrifyingly withering away before our eyes.

Severely weakened by the device, the Doctor drops it, and moments later the lush forest is reduced to a barren waste. Seeing the pair on the TARDIS scanner, Steven comes running out to help, but despite his efforts he cannot deactivate the Time Destructor. Nearby, he finds Sara’s skeletal remains, moments before they crumble away into dust.

Now that’s what I call scary! Where has THIS been all serial? Sure the Daleks can zap you and that’s not much fun but it doesn’t really evoke the true horror of the Time Destructor. It’s an awesome superweapon and I’m a bit disappointed it gets as little screen time as it does.

Somehow the Doctor is still alive, which leads me to wonder if he has a much longer natural lifespan than Sara. We know he’s technically an alien, because he isn’t from Earth, but how alien?

He’s not pleased to see Steven outside the TARDIS, and yells at him to get back in before he gets himself killed. Starting to feel better, the Doctor manages to return to the TARDIS, and is virtually back to normal once he makes it inside. However, outside the Time Destructor is still working its purpose, but time is no longer flowing faster than it should. It’s flowing backwards.

The Daleks catch up, and they too attempt to destroy the Time Destructor, to no avail, as it strips away their armour, aging them down, down, down until there’s nothing left but jellyfish-like Dalek embryos writhing in agony in the dust.

I should make a list of the most disturbing fates ever to befall a character on Doctor Who. This would go at the top, I think.

The device finally ceases to work, the Taranium core having burnt itself out. The Doctor and Steven emerge from the TARDIS to survey the damage. There’s absolutely nothing left outside. Alone in the desolate wastes, they mourn Sara, wishing that she could have seen the destruction of the Daleks. Steven is more than ready to leave, having made and then lost so many friends in this fight against the Daleks. Somberly, the Doctor agrees.

“What a waste. What a terrible waste.”

You said it, Doc.

Final Thoughts

We made it! The road was long and hard, and oh how we suffered. Well, I did most of the suffering. You just read about it.

Where do I even begin?

I think the most obvious thing to address is how ridiculously bloated this serial is. It desperately needed vast structural edits, and while I know television is made on a tight schedule, it would have been better to push the serial back to later in the series if it needed more time to fix. The plot meanders, doubles back on itself, and sometimes plain goes missing for whole episodes at a time. It suffocates under a pile of not-very-interesting subplots. Hordes of characters run around, and I can recall very few of their names, let alone any element of their personalities.

I can only describe it as a mess. I can’t even think of simple fixes for all this. If I was editing this, I would tear this whole story down to its very foundations and rebuild from there.

It irritates me, because I can see the skeleton of a potentially excellent story in here. There are some fun ideas and lots of potential for interesting twists and turns, but it’s all for naught.

It’s not that I do not enjoy a sprawling plot; I happen to be very fond of The Lord Of The Rings, and you don’t get much more sprawling than that. However, while those fantasy novels sprawl with purpose (for the most part), this story meanders about like a confused British tourist wandering a foreign grocery shop in search of teabags.

The other big problem is with the character development. This is a long serial. I will leave Steven and the Doctor alone, because they do seem changed by their experiences.

I am going to first pick on Sara. Here we have a woman who is so loyal to her superiors that she kills her own brother without question or remorse. Here is a woman who has been indoctrinated all her life to follow Chen. She is ruthless and deadly enough to have become the SSS’ top agent. Weighing all this in mind, does it sound like organic development to have her fully switch sides after one little scolding from some blokes she’s only just met? And a couple of episodes later, everyone, Sara included, seems to have forgotten about Bret.

Then there’s Mavic Chen. I’ve already covered the highly questionable makeup. For the most part, he was fine, if not terribly interesting. Great, he wants to rule the universe, him and every other B-movie villain out there. And then comes his decline. Well, I don’t think decline is the word. This isn’t a man spiraling as he desperately clings to power, it’s more like he swan-dives off the cliff of sanity.

Aside from that I don’t think there’s enough for me to chew on for me to talk about any other characters. There’s practically a revolving door of side-characters, of whom I can only remember Bret (who was pretty cool) and Katarina (who I definitely think was under-used). The Galactic Council seemed pointless to me. Chen was the only one among their number that the Daleks actually needed for access to the Taranium. I don’t know their names, and I couldn’t give a fig about it. They could have done with being cut from the serial entirely, or re-written to make them actually matter to the overall plot.

We’re not going to talk about the Christmas episode.

I think the Doctor sums it up best: it’s a waste. This serial could be so much better. I had high hopes after the unexpectedly dark and serious prologue episode Mission To The Unknown. I do admire the ambition and there’s a lot of creativity on display. Sadly, however, I think my favourite parts of the serial only came at the very end. I have a soft spot for the Monk (he’s just so much fun!), and the Time Destructor was awesome to behold. For the rest of the serial however I’m afraid that it rather fell short of my expectations.

At least you no longer have to listen to me moaning about it. We’ve got what looks to be a historical serial coming up next time, and I for one will be very glad for a change of pace.

2 out of 5 stars